It's Always Sunny S01E03 · Underage Drinking: A National Concern · annotation sheet
L1Mac
I like what I'm seeing here!
L2Mac
I like what you're doing right now!
L3Mac
I like what you're doing!
L4Mac
I like what you're doing!
L5Mac
I like what we're all doing!
L9Mac
This is good! This is a good scene!
L10Mac
I've never seen so many beautiful people in my life!
L11Mac
Hey, check it out! Even Sweet Dee's getting lucky! That dude's gonna bang your sister, bro.
L14Mac
You look good, brother.
L16Mac
I feel better than good.
L17Mac
You know, I feel like, um I feel like dancing.
L18Mac
Whoa, it feels good, man!
L20Mac
I feel like dancing!
L21Dennis
Get out there, buddy.
L24Mac
I feel like dancing! I love that little man.
L26Mac
I mean, what's going on?
L27Mac
This is, like, the greatest night Paddy's has ever seen.
L29Mac
Kind of a young crowd, right?
L31Mac
Really, really young.
L33Mac
What, do you think these kids are in college or what? I don't know.
L36Dennis
How old are you? Twenty-one? Everybody, out! But I don't understand how you guys could let this happen.
L37Mac
It was not my fault.
L38Mac
I was working behind the bar.
L40Mac
You remember what it was like in high school.
L41Mac
The minute we caught word that a bar wasn't carding we would just pack the place the following weekend.
L42Mac
They probably had a recon crew come in last week.
L43Mac
They definitely had
L44Dennis
Why, you guys? Why were we not carding?
L47Dennis
It's all of our jobs.
L48Dennis
We could get into a lot of trouble for this.
L49Dennis
And we also have a social responsibility to keep teenagers from drinking.
L51Mac
I don't know about that though.
L56Mac
It wasn't that long ago that we were in the same position as these youngsters, right? I mean, we'd get kicked out of some bar, and what did we do, Den? We would get a bunch of 40s from a homeless guy and we'd go sit in some park, right?
L58Dennis
That is absolutely true.
L59Mac
And what would happen? We would almost get raped and/or murdered and/or stabbed by crackheads in Fairmount Park.
L60Mac
You wanna know what else what would happen? We drove Nicky Potnik's car into a tree on Kelly Drive.
L61Mac
With Sweet Dee in the backseat puking because some guy talked to her that she liked, remember? Every time some guy talks to you that you like you get so nervous you drink yourself into oblivion.
L62Dee
I had bad potato salad.
L63Mac
You drink yourself crazy.
L64Mac
You abused alcohol, and that's okay.
L65Mac
But it's very dangerous, right? Right? Okay.
L66Mac
Well, maybe we should look at this whole thing from a different angle.
L67Mac
Maybe we have "a social responsibility" to provide a safe haven for these kids to be kids.
L68Mac
You know, experiment.
L70Dennis
I don't like where this is heading.
L71Dennis
We would have to set up ground rules.
L73Dennis
No drinking and driving.
L74Mac
No one's gonna crash Nicky Potnik's car.
L76Dennis
Everyone has to take a cab.
L77Dennis
Four drink maximum.
L78Dennis
Like, that's it.
L79Dennis
You know what I mean? Yeah, yeah.
L81Dennis
Anyone causing trouble can't come.
L82Dennis
If you're gonna be here, you gotta be cool.
L83Mac
He's gone! He's gone! Listen, we water down the drinks, jack up the prices.
L85Mac
We could make a serious profit off these kids.
L86Mac
And they'd have no idea what the hell's going on.
L87Dennis
We would actually be doing something good.
L91Dee
I don't know how you guys live with yourselves.
L92Dennis
One day at a time.
L95Dee
I heard you the first time.
L96Dee
I'm perfectly aware of what time it is.
L98Dee
Do we have to do this right now? Yeah, I know how old I am.
L99Dee
Did you think that I forgot, maybe, how old That's As a matter of fact, I have a date this afternoon with my friend Steven.
L100Dee
So I should probably go, 'cause I gotta get ready for that.
L109Trey
This is Trey from last night.
L111Dee
You know what? I don't think I should be talking with you.
L112Trey
I think you're the most beautiful woman I've ever met in my entire life.
L113Dee
Really? I can't believe that someone as gorgeous as you can be so down to earth.
L114Dee
Well, you know, I've always tried to keep both feet on the ground, so Yeah.
L115Trey
So, listen, I have a lacrosse game but I was wondering if you wanted to meet me and my friends at Lemon Hill afterwards.
L116Dee
Lemon Hill? That's where all the cool kids used to go.
L118Trey
So you've been there.
L120Dee
I've been there, like, 200 times.
L121Trey
Why don't you stop by? I mean, unless you got something better to do today.
L123Dee
You can really put 'em back, can't you? The trick is to just kind of open your throat.
L124Trey
You are so much cooler than all the other girls I know.
L126Dee
Can you get me another one of these? Whoo!
L129Mac
Look how much fun they're having, man.
L130Dennis
Of course they are.
L131Dennis
They haven't realized how much life sucks yet.
L132Mac
Remember how great high school was? All those parties, no responsibilities.
L133Mac
High school was the best.
L134Dennis
Do you guys even remember high school?
L135Charlie
I don't think it happened the way you think.
L136Dennis
What do you mean? The only reason you got to hang out with me and the other cool kids is 'cause you sold us all weed.
L137Charlie
Everybody thought you were an asshole.
L138Mac
I was popular! Mac was very popular.
L139Dennis
And I like to think I was pretty popular myself.
L142Dennis
You were popular like a clown is popular.
L144Dennis
Yeah, you made us all laugh.
L145Dennis
All the guys knew you couldn't sleep with their girlfriends.
L147Dennis
The only reason you got laid is 'cause you dated freshmen.
L149Dennis
You've always had that creepy thing with younger girls.
L151Dennis
You're not in high school anymore, pal.
L152Dennis
You better keep it in the pants, 'cause it's kind of creepy.
L153Mac
You want to talk about creepy? You guys sniffing glue in your mom's basement.
L155Dennis
Tim Murphy slept with your prom date.
L156Dennis
Tim Murphy slept with your prom date!
L157Dennis
Tim Murphy had sex with your prom date!
L160Dennis
He's getting sad now.
L162Dennis
There's, like, watering in the eyes.
L163Dennis
Now he's running away.
L164Dennis
Oh, is he gonna cry? Did you see that? He was totally gonna cry.
L165Dennis
Oh, Trey, that is so sad.
L166Trey
It was a really bad breakup.
L167Trey
I mean, Tammy's great and all.
L168Trey
I just wasn't feeling it, you know? Oh, yeah.
L169Dee
Well, you gotta feel it.
L170Trey
Don't get me wrong.
L171Trey
Tammy's, like, the prettiest girl in school so it was a perfect match.
L172Trey
It just wasn't working.
L174Trey
She's not as pretty as you though.
L176Trey
Wait! I can't do this.
L178Trey
I never statutory raped anyone before.
L181Trey
I'll tell you what.
L182Trey
Let's, uh, just take it slow.
L184Dee
Where were you when I was in high school? I was eight.
L187Mac
These kids are wasted, bro.
L188Mac
I thought we were cuttin' 'em off.
L189Charlie
I am cuttin' 'em off.
L190Charlie
These kids haven't had more than three drinks each.
L191Charlie
Plus, there's so much water, they're probably more hydrated than they ever have been.
L192Mac
Are they fakin' it?
L194Girl
Just stay away from me, Billy!
L195Boy
No, Sara! I saw you flirting with him! No, I know it.
L196Charlie
You were throwing yourself on him! Hey, hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Give me some eyes! Look at me! Cool your jets!
L198Charlie
All right, beat it!
L200Girl
He's such a player.
L206Charlie
I'm getting fired up here.
L207Mac
Charlie, that was the coolest thing you've ever done! I know.
L208Charlie
I'm gonna be sick.
L210Dennis
You Dennis Reynolds?
L212Dennis
You like what you see? Uh, I don't know.
L215Dennis
Are you in high school?
L217Dennis
Then take a hike.
L218Dennis
Doesn't seem to bother your sister.
L219Dennis
What? She was all over this one boy in my class today.
L220Dennis
Really? Listen, dude, I'm legal and I love to party.
L221Dennis
So if you're looking for the ride of your life give me a call.
L225Dee
What the hell is wrong with you?
L226Dee
What? I know you were hanging out with that high school kid from the bar.
L228Dee
You know what? We're just friends, all right? He went through a really bad breakup, and he just needed me to be there for him.
L229Dennis
What you're doing is sick and wrong.
L230Dennis
Are you living out some sad fantasy of yours?
L231Dennis
Going out with the most popular kid in high school.
L232Dee
Why would that be a fantasy? I went out with tons of guys in high school.
L233Dennis
You wore that scoliosis back brace until you were 20 years old.
L234Dennis
Everyone was afraid of you.
L236Dennis
You looked like a monster! Do you all have amnesia?
L237Dee
What is that supposed to mean? Oh, my God.
L238Dennis
You're as delusional as Mac and Charlie.
L239Dee
Do not compare me to Mac and Charlie.
L240Mac
I'm telling you, this is the wrong kind of glue, Charlie.
L242Mac
This is made for, like, kindergartners or something.
L243Charlie
No, this will work.
L245Mac
"Nontoxic and safe.
L246Mac
" We don't want safe.
L248Charlie
Something's happening.
L249Mac
Nothing is gonna happen.
L250Charlie
Something's happening.
L251Mac
Nothing's gonna happen.
L252Charlie
No, you're right.
L253Charlie
This isn't working.
L257Dennis
How are you? Really? That's cool.
L262Dennis
That was that girl Sara, the one from the bar the other night who I rescued from that kid.
L263Dennis
Well, her parents are out of town, and she's totally having a party.
L264Mac
What do you think? Kind of a lame party, bro.
L265Dennis
Uh, what do you think? Should we jet? Yeah.
L266Mac
This doesn't feel right.
L270Dennis
I'm so glad you guys came.
L271Dennis
Well, uh, we ran into a little bit of a problem.
L272Dennis
My brother, he was supposed to pick up the keg, but he bailed on me.
L275Dennis
Yeah, it totally sucks.
L276Dennis
So, um, we were wondering if maybe you guys could help us out.
L277Dee
Oh, you mean No, I don't
L279Mac
Geez, I don't think that's such a good idea.
L280Dennis
Listen, it's one thing at the bar, you know, where we have control over you guys.
L281Dennis
It's another thing
L282Dennis
Ah, come on, please? Please.
L283Dennis
You guys have been so cool.
L284Mac
Yeah, we were just talking about how cool you guys were.
L286Dennis
You were? Mm-hmm.
L287Dennis
This would be the coolest thing that anyone's ever done for us.
L290Dennis
Who wants to do a keg stand? Um, I'm kind ofhaving second thoughts a little bit.
L292Dennis
It'll be a blast.
L293Dee
Yeah, well, I don't think your friends like me that much.
L294Mac
Let's go get a beer.
L295Charlie
Twenty-five, 26
L298Dennis
What's going on?
L299Dee
Just hanging out, you know? Yeah.
L300Mac
Wanna do a keg stand? Seventy-five, 76, 77!
L301Mac
Seventy-seven seconds! That is a new record, baby!
L304Dee
So, Ben is, like, "I don't care what Kevin said, Sara.
L305Dee
I was only going out with Rachel to get closer to you.
L306Dee
" Oh, my Oh, my God.
L307Dee
What did you say to that? "Whatever, Ben.
L308Dee
I heard from Caitlin that you were totally into her.
L309Dee
" Um, he's so full of shit.
L312Mac
Yeah! What do you think about that, bitches? Load 'em up, losers! What do you think about this, huh? How I embarrassed your boyfriend in front of everybody? You like that?
L313Mac
You like what you see?
L314Dennis
What's with this guy? I know.
L315Mac
What is he, like, 40? Get me some more! Get me some more! Let's go! Load 'em up!
L316Mac
I'm gonna put on a goddamn clinic!
L317Dennis
What an asshole.
L322Mac
Oh, get off me, dude!
L323Dennis
Get off me! Can we please get out of here? Let's go.
L324Dee
Why? Trey asked me to prom last night.
L325Dennis
This is getting really weird.
L326Dee
That girl Sara asked me too.
L327Dennis
You're kidding! What? No, we can't go to the prom.
L328Dennis
That's pathetic.
L329Dee
What do you mean "we"? Who asked you? Let's just go.
L331Dennis
All right, all right.
L334Dennis
What are you doing here? You gotta get out of here.
L335Dee
I need a date for the prom, and I want you to take me.
L336Dennis
Are you kidding me? I can't do that, okay?
L338Dee
Isn't there anything I can do to change your mind? No.
L345Dee
You can either take me to the prom or I can tell the police that you're serving underage kids.
L346Dennis
Are you serious?
L349Dennis
You know what? I don't think we should be serving minors anymore.
L351Dee
Somebody's jealous.
L352Dennis
I'm not jealous.
L353Dennis
I just think it's dangerous.
L354Dee
You're jealous you didn't get asked to the prom.
L355Dennis
I don't care about that.
L356Dee
Ah, you're gonna cry?
L357Dee
Shut up! Yo, you guys? No more kids in the bar, seriously.
L358Mac
Okay! Now we're talking some sense.
L360Charlie
This girl asked me to the prom.
L362Charlie
This girl comes over to my house tells me that if I don't go to the prom with her, she's gonna rat us out to the cops.
L365Dennis
So all of you guys got asked to the prom? You guys got asked to the prom?
L368Dee
Oh, this is so lame! At least you don't actually have to go.
L372Mac
Oh, well, if you're going, I'm going then, I guess.
L374Mac
What? I didn't get to go when I was in high school.
L375Mac
It might actually be fun.
L376Dennis
If you guys are going, I'm going.
L377Dennis
I'm not staying here.
L380Dennis
I have to go, so
L381Dee
You guys are pathetic! Maybe if you weren't such a jerk, someone might have asked you.
L382Charlie
Because Sara told me that Maureen told her that Regina McGinley thought you were cute.
L383Charlie
Then Ray Rafferty comes up to you at the party, and you're
L384Dee
Charlie, shut up! The only reason that Sara asked you in the first place is because you're the only idiot dumb enough to listen to her bitch about her ex-boyfriend all night! Whatever.
L385Charlie
Hey, we should have a pre-prom party.
L386Dennis
You know what, Charlie? I think this is actually gonna be pretty great.
L387Mac
Oh, dude, are you kidding me? This is gonna be awesome.
L388Dennis
I can't wait to just get out there and start dancing.
L389Mac
I'm gonna dance too.
L390Dennis
Are you gonna dance, baby? You gonna dance with me?
L391Charlie
I'm gonna dance like this.
L392Dennis
Oh, Dee! Come here.
L393Dennis
Let me take a look at you.
L395Dennis
You look You look Yeah.
L397Dee
I feel so lucky that this thing even fits still.
L398Dennis
Is that your dress from high school?
L400Dennis
You didn't go to the prom in high school, Dee.
L402Dee
My back brace was under the dress, and Mom called me fat.
L403Dee
So I stayed home and cried instead.
L404Dennis
Take Take it slow.
L406Dennis
I know, you guys, but I just am so nervous.
L407Dennis
I just want this whole night to be so special.
L408Mac
That dude is going to bang your sister, bro.
L409Frank
What's up, bitches? Mmm!
L410Frank
What is this? What are you doing? You assholes aren't gonna be the only ones having fun.
L411Frank
I'm going to the prom.
L412Dee
Dork! You cannot crash a high school prom.
L413Frank
I'm going stag, bro.
L414Dee
Mac, you are so pathetic.
L415Dee
Yes, and your eyebrows are drawn on, so Whoa.
L416Mac
Well, you know what? How 'bout this? Say it, don't spray it.
L421Dennis
My date has arrived.
L422Dennis
Trey is so cool.
L423Mac
He's totally gonna bang your sister.
L424Dennis
Hello, sweet prince.
L425Dennis
Wow! You look good.
L426Dee
I know! Like a princess.
L427Dennis
Can I tell you a little secret?
L430Dennis
I always wanted to have sex on prom.
L433Mac
So what's the plan? Do we have a limo or what?
L434Dennis
The plan is, you're not coming with us.
L437Dennis
You weren't invited and you don't have a date.
L439Dennis
I totally suck?
L440Mac
What is that supposed to mean?
L443Dennis
That's my prom date.
L445Dennis
She's unbelievable.
L449Dennis
You are a lucky man.
L450Mac
You are a lucky man.
L451Charlie
Oh, you dick! Wait a second.
L452Charlie
You guys called me creepy for liking young chicks.
L453Dennis
Eighteen's legal, bro.
L454Mac
This isn't a morality contest.
L455Dennis
Eighteen's not young, brother.
L456Charlie
So you guys are giving me the go-ahead? I mean, can I
L464Tammy
I can't zip it up.
L465Dennis
Your hair's all caught.
L472Dennis
What? Hold on one minute.
L473Dennis
Can I get you a drink?
L475Dennis
What would you like?
L476Dennis
Anything you want.
L477Charlie
Tammy, what are you doing here?
L478Tammy
I'm picking up my date.
L479Tammy
You're going to prom with this guy? Yes.
L480Charlie
Can I talk to you for a second? What the hell is going on? That's Tammy, Trey's ex-girlfriend.
L481Charlie
This is classic Tammy.
L482Charlie
Trey broke up with Tammy because Maureen Kinallen said that she saw Tammy flirting with Walt Timby at a party.
L483Charlie
But she was only doing it to make Trey jealous because, you know she thought that Trey secretly liked Erin Hannabry.
L484Charlie
But Trey didn't like Erin Hannabry.
L485Charlie
It was all a bunch of bull.
L486Dennis
What is happening?
L487Dennis
That's Tammy, Trey's ex-girlfriend.
L488Dennis
This is classic Tammy.
L489Dennis
Trey broke up with Tammy Charlie, you gotta stop, honestly.
L490Mac
What are they talking about?
L492Dennis
Where are they going?
L493Mac
What the hell is this? Oh, man! Ah, they did it.
L494Dennis
They got what they wanted.
L496Dennis
So wait a second.
L497Dennis
They were actually using you two to make each other jealous.
L498Dennis
I always knew that they'd wind up together, 'cause they're, like, so perfect for each other.
L500Dennis
They're one of those perfect matches.
L501Mac
That dude's gonna bang your prom date, bro.
L504Dennis
Hey, why are you such an asshole all the time? I'm not the asshole.
L505Dennis
You guys are the ones that just got dumped on prom night.
L506Mac
You got dumped on prom night!
L507Dennis
You were gonna go stag.
L510Dee
How old are you, dude?
L511Dennis
I am 28 years old.
L512Dee
You're a piece of crap!
L513Dennis
I'm not a piece of crap! You're a piece of crap.
L514Charlie
I have to pee.
L517Dee
I hate you, Charlie.
L518Dennis
Just like high school.