# GilmoreGirls-S04E15
# source: https://www.springfieldspringfield.co.uk/view_episode_scripts.php?tv-show=gilmore-girls&episode=s04e15

Hey.
 Don't.
 - You okay?|- You hurt my feelings just now.
 I mean, you doing okay with everything? You're referring to my meltdown|in the park.
 - It wasn't a meltdown.
|- It was a meltdown.
 They're making it into a movie,|Meltdown in the Park.
 It's just a working title.
|Baz Luhrmann's directing and - in the movie, Luke wears tights and sings.
|- But you're okay? Thanks to my knight in shining armor.
 I just hope Alec Baldwin|captures your rare essence.
 And slims down a little for the role.
|I should deliver these.
 Can I work on my laptop? - Does it make noise?|- No, but I sometimes do.
 - You always do.
|- Thanks.
 - Kirk.
 What's with the-|- It's not a purse! I wasn't gonna say "purse.
 " - Sorry.
|- What's with the gay bag? It's a dog carrier.
 My girlfriend's gone out of town|with some friends and I'm watching Buster for her.
 And they're girl friends, not guys.
|I called the hotel she booked and verified that it's a girl's name|on the register with her.
 - Not that I don't trust her.
|- Clearly.
 - Over there okay?|- Sure.
 Carol, Danny - Jamie, Sean, Chris?|- What's that? Just a list of guys' names|that could be girls.
 - You want coffee?|- Yes.
 - What is this?|- Phone cord.
 - I can't have this here.
|- Don't worry.
 It's not plugged into your regular line.
 It's the fax line you put in a year ago|that you never use.
 You mean the fax line you made me put in|to get in fax orders even though no one has ever|wanted to put in a fax order.
 And I never got the fax machine like I told you I would never,|ever get the fax machine making the fax line pointless.
 Hold on.
 Let me get|on the Guinness World Records' web site.
 Yes, that's the most times anyone has ever used|the word "fax" in a sentence.
 - Just be quick with this.
|- Man, I love e-mail.
 Every day, Rory and I write each other|multiple times.
 You enjoy typing to people|more than talking to them? Wrong perspective.
 E-mail returns us|to the romantic days of letter-writing.
 - It's pure Dickens.
|- Why Dickens? It's just when I picture letter-writing,|I picture Charles Dickens.
 Charles Dickens wrote more letters|than other people? No, it's just I can easily picture him|in his study with his dog and his pipe|and his fancy feathered pen writing, "Cheerio, old bean.
 "Have a cup of tea.
 How's Big Ben? "How's the Tower of London,|Sister Suffragette? - "Tuppence a bag.
 "|- Sounds like an idiot.
 - Hey, Luke.
 Coffee?|- This is embarrassing.
 I could unplug it, but then I'd have|to start the process all over.
 Or you could just eat here|and save the e-mailing for when you're Excuse me.
 - You have a dog there?|- No.
 Why? - Just putting two and two together.
|- Well, it's coming out five.
 Buster is at home, asleep.
 Okay.
 What'll you have? Oatmeal, extra brown sugar on the side and a pound of raw hamburger.
 Or just the oatmeal will be fine.
 - VoiIà!|- This does nothing.
 What? It makes it easier to limbo under.
 This is my place.
 I shouldn't have to limbo.
 - You still sleepy?|- Why is Kirk talking to his man purse? You got sleepy face.
 You have to tinkle? Where is that Just looking|for my "Lucky" magazine, and Paper cut.
 - What are you doing?|- Getting a drink.
 - You're sick.
|- Hence the fluids.
 When you came out,|did you use the doorknob? As opposed to dematerializing,|passing vapor-like through the wall then rematerializing out here?|No, I used the doorknob.
 For the love of God,|I begged you not to touch anything.
 I'm not contagious anymore.
 - Paris, stop!|- I'm not getting sick.
 That's your deodorant.
 Then what the hell did I spray|under my arms? That's mine.
 - Hello?|- Guess where I'm standing.
 I don't know,|but you sound a little echoey.
 I'm standing in the living room|of my very own apartment! - You're kidding.
|- I'm waiting for the gas man.
 Isn't that great? I've got gas! Ignore the word.
|Just focus on the enthusiasm.
 - How are you affording this?|- I'm sharing it with Zack and Brian.
 You're living with the band? It's innocent.
 I have my own room,|and they'll sleep in the living room.
 That is so cool.
|When do you move your stuff in? Tomorrow, that is,|if my mom hasn't sold it all by now.
 You sound a little stuffed.
 I've been sick,|but it's mostly deodorant stench I'm suffering from at the moment.
 My God! My first mail is here! - It's a Chinese menu.
|- Frame it or something.
 - I will.
 I got to go.
 I'll call you later.
|- Bye.
 - That's not dangerous.
|- Fire kills germs.
 I'm sleeping|with one of the other girls tonight.
 How very the "L" word.
 You done? Yes, your limboing days are over.
|Thanks for putting up with me.
 - I only fell once.
|- And gracefully.
 Bye.
 - Wait a minute.
 Hold on.
|- Why? - You're making me nervous.
|- Just Here.
 - What's this?|- It's what it is.
 - A monk, a trunk, and a skunk.
|- What are you doing? Carnac, but I don't have a punch line.
|Never stopped Johnny.
 - Put that down.
 Hide it.
|- What is it? Open it later.
 A check to me for $30,000.
 Luke, this is the money|I was gonna ask you for.
 - And you did ask, and there it is.
|- But I didn't, not officially.
 I blubbered an amount to you and we didn't talk|about a repayment schedule - It's okay.
|- or interest or collateral.
 I had charts and projections.
 - I wanted to take you out to a nice dinner.
|- So send me a honey-baked ham.
 But this is wrong.
|This is not how you do these things.
 I don't know how to do these things.
|Will you just take the money? I'm sorry.
|We at least have to go over the basics.
 I don't want to read that.
 I'm not leaving until you read this napkin.
 Fine.
 Okay? That's okay.
 That's too much.
 - That's sufficient.
|- Okay, but what about this? - Nicole?|- I thought we were writing and sliding.
 What about Nicole? - I need to know her role.
|- There is none.
 Luke, if it's joint money,|I should acknowledge that and thank her the next time I see her- You're not gonna see her.
|Now can we stop talking about this? Okay, but I insist on typing up|something legal and binding - for this loan.
|- Okay.
 I really just don't want to talk|about this anymore.
 Okay.
 We'll dot the "i's" and cross the "t's"|another day.
 Yes, we'll cross and dot.
 - I just have to write down one more thing.
|- What is so important now? You're welcome.
 - Hi.
|- Gilmore, Richard and Emily Gilmore.
 Look, we single-handedly|put your restaurant on the map by praising your crab puffs at Eunice Pierpont Pennington's|granddaughter's christening.
 Hi, Mom.
 Really? You're new there?|Because your deft handling of this phone call displays all the signs|of a seasoned and experienced hand.
 Yes, go get Trey.
 That's a smashing idea.
 - Painful.
 Hello.
|- What's going on? You couldn't see the smoke|from Stars Hollow? - Lettie burned the entrée.
|- Beyond edibility? Cause I'm not picky.
 No, I could not expose you to such a loin.
 - If I had a nickel.
|- What? So you had a burning loin.
 And now I'm fighting to squeeze us|into somewhere appropriate.
 Someone to take pity on the loinless.
 - Is that how you're dressed?|- Is this a trick question? - It's not appropriate to go out in.
|- I did not foresee your burning loin.
 - Stop saying that word.
|- When will I get this chance again? I've seen that a dozen times.
|You should update your wardrobe.
 My wardrobe is fine, Mom.
 The summer lines are coming out.
|Hit a store.
 No need for you to hit|any more stores, Emily.
 You've done enough shopping|for a lifetime.
 For Methuselah's lifetime.
 Hello, Lorelai.
 - Hi, Dad.
|- I didn't say I was going shopping.
 It's an instinct|that requires no verbalization.
 I was suggesting|that your daughter update her wardrobe.
 - No need to spread your disease either.
|- Richard! Really, Dad, don't read more into this|than what it is, just humiliating me.
 I should hang up and let you both starve.
 What do you mean starve?|What happened to dinner? I told you not five minutes ago|that dinner was ruined.
 - Did you?|- Yes.
 I heard "loin,"|but I didn't think you meant dinner.
 This is making me very uncomfortable.
 That's because you half-listen|to everything I say.
 Yes, I'm still here.
 Good, check with him.
 I think we have a shot at Bastide.
 - Isn't that a little drab?|- We love Bastide.
 No, you love Bastide.
 Why don't we try|that place Jason took me to last week? A lot of hip clientele.
 He pointed out Moby to me.
|He's that bald musician.
 - That's pretty hip, Dad.
|- When did you have dinner with Moby? Moby was just there.
|Jason played me some of his music later.
 - I liked it.
|- We're going to Bastide.
 But don't fret maybe the Beatles will be there|and you can sit in and jam with them.
 - Two of the Beatles are dead, Emily.
|- Only one is dead.
 No, a second Beatle died just recently.
|Lorelai? Could you press the pause button|on this conversation? I really want Rory to hear the rest of it.
 If we're going to Bastide,|you should change your jacket, Richard.
 All right.
 And please shave that mustache,|I beg of you.
 I want to see|what it looks like fully grown, Emily.
 - That was the agreement.
|- It looks like a caterpillar now.
 In two weeks,|it'll resemble a bigger caterpillar.
 - Very funny.
|- I'm not trying to be funny.
 I will shave it when I shave it.
 Yes, we'll be there.
 Thank you.
 Wait! They can take us|if we can be there in five minutes - and order as quickly as possible.
|- It'll take longer than that.
 - Not if we move.
|- What about my jacket? - They'll be staring at your mustache.
|- Emily.
 Come on.
 Scoot.
|And be thinking about what you want.
 Just one little problem here.
 Rory? - What about her?|- She's not here yet.
 - She's not coming.
|- She's not coming? No, she's been sick all week|and I told her to stay in and rest.
 - She's been sick?|- Didn't you know? - Yeah, I knew.
|- I'm having sea bass.
 Think.
 I knew it.
 - Hello?|- We have an e-maiI relationship.
 Hi.
 - She speaks.
 She has the ability.
|- What's wrong? - Are you okay? Are you sick?|- I'm getting over a cold.
 You knew that.
 No, I didn't,|because our once-wonderful relationship envy of all the world,|more intimate than that of the naked couple|in the "Love is " cartoons has degenerated|into e-mail correspondence.
 - I'm sure I wrote that I had a cold.
|- No, you didn't.
 - In all those e-mails, I didn't mention it?|- All those e-mails? I'm sorry,|but you write less than the people offering to enlarge a piece of anatomy|I do not possess.
 I could have sworn I told you.
 I just reread every e-mail you sent|in the past 10 days.
 No sickness mentioned,|but you did share these gems: "What up? Is it freezing there, too? Ice.
 " And, "Pooped.
 " Then you added one of those|obnoxious hieroglyphics that I can never read that indicate you're laughing or smiling|or frowning or vomiting.
 That's a typo.
 I don't do cutesy symbols.
 You're not even using verbs.
|That's not a relationship.
 Relationships need verbs.
 - Yours aren't much better.
|- I'm not saying they are.
 - I can never get you on the phone.
|- I can never get you! - You got me now.
|- Freak of nature.
 What do you look like? - Do you look the same?|- Hold on.
 My nose ring is itching.
 Don't kid.
 I'm mad and needy and I went to dinner alone|with my parents who bickered the whole time about which Beatle is alive|and which is dead.
 - Where'd they land?|- John and Keith are dead.
 Paul and Bingo are still kicking.
 - Play hooky tomorrow.
|- From what? I don't know, whatever you got.
 I know you're always busy,|but let's do something.
 - What about the Inn?|- They can live without me for a day.
 - Tomorrow's actually good.
|- Really? There's a newspaper thing,|but I can skip that.
 - CooI! What do we do?|- I don't know.
 Mom said|the summer clothing lines are out.
 Want to go shopping?|We haven't done that in ages.
 - But we're both totally skint.
|- We're what? We're skint, broke.
 It's British.
 You've learned to speak British.
|I didn't know about it.
 You know what I mean.
 So we won't buy anything.
|We'll just window-shop.
 - That could be fun.
|- It'll be like we're in an old movie walking around,|window-shopping like Roz Russell and Ava Gardner on Fifth Avenue.
 - I'm with you.
|- Meet me at the Inn, 10.
00? But it's been so long.
|How will we recognize each other? - We'll wear a rose in our lapels.
|- Or dangling from my nose ring.
 - You're kidding about that?|- I'm leaving you in suspense.
 - Tomorrow at 10:00, Roz, darling?|- Till tomorrow, Ava, dearest.
 - Look out.
 Coming through.
|- What's with all the dogs, Kirk? People in town|saw how good I was with Lulu's dog that they asked me to watch theirs.
|For a fee, of course.
 - What are you looking for?|- Come on.
 It's a game I'm playing with the dogs.
 Tracker.
 See, I cut one of them loose and then the rest of us hide|until we get tracked down.
 At the moment,|we're hiding from Snuggles.
 We are? It helps them hone their tracking skills,|and the kids love it.
 What kids? - The babies.
 The dogs.
|- You ever the one that gets cut loose? I've gone twice.
 Snuggles.
 Cute, but not the smartest tool|in the shed.
 He found us! Celebrate! - Come on, Luke.
 Celebrate!|- I'll have a beer tonight.
 Beer? No! We don't like beer.
 Beer is bad.
 Cookies! Celebrate! - Hi, Rory.
|- Hi, Tom.
 How's it going? - Not half bad.
|- Well, that's half good.
 That makes it sound better than it is.
 - Kind of the point.
|- What's with the flower? It's so my mom and I will recognize|each other.
 - Girl thing?|- Yeah.
 - I'm not into girl things.
|- You're a contractor.
 Yep.
 Later.
 - Excuse me, can I have your autograph?|- What? I'm sorry, I thought you were one|of the Village People.
 - I'm kidding.
 I'm a kidder.
|- What are you doing here? I'm meeting my mom.
|We're playing hooky today.
 - The flower's a private joke for her?|- You know me well.
 Yeah, I do.
 - So, you okay and all?|- Yeah.
 Oh, that.
 I'm fine now.
 A little nervous breakdown|can really work wonders for a girl.
 - I didn't mean to lay all that on you.
|- That's what shoulders are for.
 You've got a heck|of an understanding shoulder.
 - You want to hammer something?|- Always.
 - Be my guest.
|- Really? Tom went outside.
 Do it, go on.
 I feel like I should spit|or hike up my shorts or something.
 You're a natural.
 I think I must have been a carpenter|in another life or just someone who really hated nails.
 - Hi, Rory.
|- Hi, Lindsay.
 Hi.
 - Are we early?|- No, not at all.
 Mom and I just wanted|to get a nice jump on things today.
 Did Lindsay tell you|we found a new dry cleaner? - Tell him, Lindsay!|- They use less solvent, so it's cleaner.
 I'm really into the environment.
 - Me, too.
|- So are you working here? No, that was illegal hammering,|completely non-union.
 Come the revolution, I shall be shot.
 Let's set up lunch|before everything gets cold.
 Lunch? This early? - Our Deano's up at 5:00.
|- Deano? Don't worry.
|Mom made lunch today, so it's safe to eat.
 Lindsay's mom is teaching her|how to cook.
 - It's hard.
 Do you know how?|- If you count radiator quesadillas.
 I should have started teaching you sooner.
 Don't make that mistake|with your little one.
 - We also have the salads ready, so-|- Rory? You're never going to attract a man|looking like that.
 - Over here, biddy bidster.
|- Bye.
 - Hi.
 You wore a rose.
|- That was the agreement.
 - Hey, Lindsay.
 Hey, Theresa.
|- Hi.
 - You ready?|- Let's go.
 - How often does this happen?|- It's a hot lunch every day.
 Plus, they always bring something|for the group.
 Yesterday,|it was peanut brittle Lindsay made.
 It broke a crown, three teeth then a HAZMAT team came|and took it away.
 They put everything|on pretzels nowadays.
 I love that.
 - You're our best friend.
|- We don't say that to just anybody.
 Just anybody holding free food.
 - We'll be back.
|- Stock up.
 - Okay, here we go.
|- Where should we start? We're window-shopping,|so let's find a window.
 I see rows and rows of windows.
 Let's walk arm-in-arm|like window-shopping ladies do in movies.
 - You got it.
|- I wish I'd brought a xylophone with me.
 There's always|a bouncy xylophone playing when movie girls window-shop.
 - So, left or right?|- Let's go right.
 Okay.
 Oh, cool.
 - That would look great on you.
|- I love blue.
 Make a mental note to get that|when you're back in the cash.
 - Done.
|- Shall we? - Let's shall.
|- Sorry.
 One of the risks of linked-arm walking.
 - Lane.
|- Hello.
 - Come in.
|- Thank you.
 - Hello, Aunt Jun.
|- Hello.
 Your Aunt Jun brought|your cousin Christine to help you move.
 - Say hello to Christine.
|- Hello, Christine.
 Hello, Lane.
 Jun and I will remain down here|while you move.
 You may use whatever boxes you need,|plus bubble wrap and tape.
 Just write down what you take|for inventory purposes.
 - I will.
 Thank you.
|- You're welcome.
 Go with Lane, Christine.
 I don't believe it! You're moving!|What happened? Tell me everything! Was there a fight?|Are you getting married? No female Kim has ever moved out|without getting married.
 You're not getting married, right? I love the floorboard thing!|It's so "Hogan's Heroes!" I wonder if I can pull the floorboards|at my house.
 Have you heard The Libertines? What about the White Stripes?|Is it over for them? What about Zeppelin?|I'm getting more retro.
 What's a good Zeppelin? Two, three Three's got "Stairway To Heaven," right? Man, it's like a funeral down there.
 I thought my mom was harsh,|but your mom makes the guy from Joy Division look like one|of the Teletubbies.
 You're taking all this? Is she looking|in the boxes before you leave? Where do you buy the CDs|with the swear words? You buy in disguise?|Did someone buy them for you? - Have you ever-|- Kid, do I look green and wrinkly to you? No? That's right.
 I'm not Yoda.
 So if you're looking for a mentor,|call the Dalai Lama.
 What I'm here to do is get my stuff|and split.
 Now be quiet and start assembling boxes.
 And "Stairway To Heaven"|is from "Led Zeppelin IV!" If you're going to get into classic rock,|know it, don't blow it! Are you getting a car?|Do you have a license? Are Kims allowed to drive?|I'm dying to drive.
 I left the inventory list in the room.
 - Very good.
|- I guess I'll be going.
 Yes.
 Step away from Lane, Christine.
 - That's nice.
|- Which? - The skirt and the blouse?|- More the skirt than the blouse.
 - I like them both.
|- Good colors.
 They have nice-looking jackets.
 - Where?|- In the back there.
 - Cute.
|- Mental note.
 Absolutely.
 Next window? Sure.
 Okay, this sucks.
 Completely.
 This is the least amount of fun|I've ever had barring the time we went|to Mummenschanz.
 - This is way less fun.
|- Window-shopping? What was I thinking? - But it sounds fun.
 It should be fun.
|- Not if you think about it.
 Window-shopping is like going|to a museum but you're interested|in what you're looking at and everyone can buy something|except for you.
 I've made so many mental notes|in my head of things to get that I think my head|has actually gotten bigger.
 Look at all these haughty people|with their bags just rubbing our faces in it.
 What were Roz Russell|and Ava Gardner thinking? What movie|did you see them window-shop in? I don't know that I did.
|I just picked two old movie-actress names.
 I don't know that I've seen anyone|window-shop in a movie.
 This whole outing was a house of sand|built on a foundation of straw.
 Maybe if we went in the store,|it would be better.
 It would be way better than just pressing|our noses up against the windows.
 - Nope.
|- Worse! - Much worse.
|- Time to pull the plug, hon.
 But what do we do? It's still morning.
 We could ride the glass elevator|up and down.
 - Oh, God, we're sad.
|- They've got a merry-go-round.
 - It costs money.
|- Right, and we're skint.
 Plus, dirty diapers|have touched those seats.
 Let's just go somewhere|where things are not for sale.
 - Let's be rid of temptation.
|- Sounds good.
 - Do you see Howard?|- I see Howard.
 He's got a fresh batch.
 I'm looking forward to Howard.
 - Oh, no.
|- What? - Emily.
|- Emily who? Emily the Strange, with the black cat|and the boots made for kicking.
 - Who do you think?|- Grandma's here? Are you sure? - Very sure.
|- Why are we hiding? - Reflex.
|- We have to say hello to her.
 Why? We're two ships.
 We're passing.
 If she sees us,|we're going to have to explain.
 - So hide good.
|- Lorelai, Rory! - Mom, hi.
|- Hi, Grandma.
 - Meet me up here.
|- We're going down.
 - Meet me up here!|- Okay.
 Go down, then meet me up here! Right, coming.
 We stink at hiding.
 - Hi.
|- Hi.
 What are you doing here? I thought you were both|swamped with work.
 Yes, Rory got a special The chancellor gave me a I actually was able to take|a half a day, too.
 - And so we've|- Just to spend some time - We're playing hooky.
|- How long have you been here? - Hour and a half.
|- Where are your bags? We're just window-shopping.
 - Like Roz Russell and Ava Gardner.
|- What's the fun in that? - There's no fun in that.
|- We're thinking of suing their estates.
 - Well, come on.
|- Where? - Shopping.
 Come on.
 Pip-pip.
|- Mom, we were just leaving.
 You're not leaving.
 Now, come on.
 I guess we're following my mother.
 She's very aggressive today.
 I think the passive part|of her personality is playing hooky.
 - Come on!|- Coming! Did you guys bring silverware or drinking glasses|or anything for the kitchen? - I didn't.
|- We have no bowls! We have no cups! - But we do have a him.
|- There's a him in one of the cupboards? An ex-him, to be exact.
|He's belly-up.
 He was a big boy, too.
 A big, fat, belly-up big boy.
 Hey, watch it.
 That's my stereo! We didn't need your stereo, Brian.
|We've got my stereo.
 We've got three stereos and no forks.
 We're kind of lacking in shelf space.
 Well, maybe you should skip|displaying your "Futurama" action figures.
 That might open space up a bit.
 There are no curtains on the windows! - People can see right in.
|- What if we're naked? - Please, never be naked.
|- I try not to be.
 And how can there be no refrigerator? - There's no refrigerator?|- I just assumed there'd be one! Great, so it's back|to the Middle Ages for us.
 Let's start storing meat in stocks of salt.
 Is that someone looking in? - What's that?|- It's a night-light.
 Dude, when the Sex Pistols|roomed together no way did they have a night-light.
 - You don't know that.
|- I read Johnny Rotten's book.
 There's no mention of a night light.
 Towels! I don't have towels.
|I've got this.
 This is not gonna work.
 When you said you had a bed for me,|you didn't say it would be bunk beds.
 But they're cool.
|The bottom one's like a fort.
 - We're not playing fort.
|- We've got to start a list.
 Anyone have paper or a pen, or money? Dude, look, this is my side of the shelf.
 - Your stuff's encroaching.
|- It's not encroaching.
 Bender and Leela are on my side.
|Put them back on your side.
 That's not Bender, that's Nibbler.
 Bender's a robot.
 Are you remotely aware|that you're not 12? - They're on my side!|- They're on my side, dude.
 Move them.
 Guys, stop! Look down.
 There's a whole empty shelf|for you to use.
 Stop bickering.
 - But we put that aside for you.
|- What? For your CDs and stuff.
|You need a shelf, Lane.
 Jeez, you smeared my glasses.
 This is gonna work, one step at a time.
 Listen, we set aside a shelf|for you in the john, too.
 You don't need to hug us for that.
 - Mom, where's the fire?|- We have a lot to get through.
 Mrs.
 Gilmore,|did I know you were coming? - Not unless you're clairvoyant.
|- What are we looking for? What are we not looking for? This is my daughter, Lorelai,|my granddaughter, Rory.
 - Nice to meet you.
|- Same here.
 What's new? I want a full report.
 We have a china set still in its crate|that screams - "Emily Gilmore.
 "|- Hand-painted? Designed in 1870 for the Shah of Persia,|the finest.
 Would you like to see it? No need.
 Give me a set of 12.
 Plus soup tureens, sauce boats, the works.
|What else? Doreen.
 - That's gorgeous.
|- From Giorgio Baldi's studio in Venice.
 They only made 18.
 - Wrap them up.
|- Right away.
 - Lorelai!|- Your brake lights were out.
 You!|You've got Richard Gilmore's sizes on file.
 Pull the latest Brionis in an assortment|of colors and charge them to our account.
 What are Brionis? Six months of my car payments,|plus a car.
 Include accessories|and three pairs of loafers, Italian.
 They should feel like butter.
|Make it four.
 Hell, make it six.
 - Yes, ma'am.
|- And jewelry.
 Add an assortment of jewelry|appropriate for a man with a mustache.
 What would that be?|Bracelets, pinkie rings? And a mustache comb,|the most expensive one you've got.
 I will look.
 Excuse me.
 - Mom?|- Keep up.
 Does Dad even want any of this stuff? He doesn't know what he wants, Lorelai,|so I choose what he wants.
 Excuse me.
 I want this.
 I'm sorry, ma'am.
 It's not for sale.
 - Everything is for sale.
|- I will take care of it.
 Dad does not need another globe.
 Then Rory can have it.
|She goes to college and can use a globe.
 It doesn't even have the right countries|on it - or California.
|- Start picking! - Start picking what?|- Everything, anything! - Mom, we don't have any money.
|- It's on your father.
 - But, Grandma|- Some help, please.
 - You like hats?|- Kind of.
 That one.
 Put it on her.
 I like it.
 These scarves match,|and of course you'll need gloves.
 We'll take them all.
 See those marbles rolling on the floor? They're Mom's.
|They spilled out of her head.
 - I do like the "chapeau.
 "|- Do not get sucked in! This is craziness! - It's just a hat.
|- It's a symbol.
 We don't know what it's symbolizing.
|Resist.
 Lorelai! - You need a watch.
|- I don't wear a watch.
 - Do you have a watch?|- No.
 Then you need a watch.
 These don't have|diamonds.
 Which ones do? - Next display.
|- Mom, I'm not buying a diamond watch.
 - You just have to take it.
|- I'm not taking it.
 I'm buying you a damn watch! That one.
 Wrap it up.
 Can I return the damn watch|if I don't want it? - Yes, ma'am.
|- Thank you.
 - Are you keeping track?|- I lost count.
 She bought me four dresses,|two evening gowns and eight maids a-milking.
 She bought you a wedding dress|when you weren't looking.
 Vera Wang.
 Why didn't you stop her? How do you stop a top|from spinning around? - This is too much.
|- Girls, come on.
 Keep up.
 Mom.
 Stop dawdling|and start choosing some shoes.
 These Manolo Blahniks would look great|on you.
 - Me wants them, my precious.
|- You told me to resist.
 That's before I saw these.
 These are works of art.
|They should be in the Louvre.
 I'm sorry, we only have|four of the Venetian apples in.
 If you want the rest,|we can have them shipped.
 Give me the four today and ship the rest|overnight, whatever the cost.
 - Mom, a quick word.
|- Where are your shoes? Wait.
 What is the rush|on the funny glass apples? They're not funny, and I want them.
|That's the rush.
 But you've already put quite a dent|in your credit card for things you don't seem to need.
 - So?|- So it's crazy.
 Crazy? You think this is crazy? - Okay, Mom-|- This isn't crazy! That stupid mustache is crazy.
|That's what's crazy.
 And your father's job is crazy.
|That's what's crazy.
 He was supposed to be slowing down and now he's club-hopping|with Jason and hanging out with Moby and having secret lunches|with women and lying about it! - Calm down.
|- Why should I calm down? Are you on his side?|Do you like that mustache? I'm not taking sides.
 I should go to bars! I should hang out|with Moby! He'd hate that.
 Mom, I'm just suggesting|that you slow down on the shopping.
 - This doesn't have to be a whole big thing.
|- Why slow down? This is what I do, according to Richard.
 And he's not slowing down.
|He's got a whole new life.
 He's got Pennilyn Lott, Digger,|he's got a mustache! He's got all that, and what do I have? Maybe I should get a job|so I can have my own life.
 I could sell shoes here|just as well as Eduardo.
 I should get an application.
|Get me an application.
 Go! I hate that mustache,|and he refuses to shave it.
 - Mom, let's take a break.
|- I don't want to take a break.
 - We do, and my feet are killing me.
|- Then get some new shoes! Come on.
 - Where are we going?|- Right around the corner here.
 - We should have taken our bags.
|- They said they'd hold them.
 I'm totally turned around.
 Where are we? You'll smell in a second.
 - What is this?|- It's the food court.
 How long has this been here? - You've never been to the food court?|- No.
 Where do you eat when you shop? I leave and go to a restaurant.
 With this Valhalla|of international cuisine so close? - But it's cafeteria-style.
|- That's the fun.
 - Here.
 Best table in the house.
|- It's plastic.
 Plastic is a vital part|of our bright tomorrow.
 - Soon we'll all be living in plastic houses.
|- On the moon.
 - What are you talking about?|- We're pulling your leg.
 - Don't do that.
|- What are you in the mood for? - I don't know.
|- I want Mexican.
 I kind of feel like Moroccan and Chinese.
 - The smorgasbord?|- Yeah, come on.
 Wait.
 Here.
 No, Moe's Moroccan Palace|does not take credit cards.
 - You're kidding.
|- It's on us.
 Keep an eye on her.
|Make sure she doesn't wander off.
 The ad cannot run|with the color composition the way it is.
 The drawing of the Inn looks purple.
 Yes, I know, but I'm not paying|for it looking like that.
 Do you understand? It looks awful.
|Fine.
 Have him call me.
 I would love to sort it out.
 Okay? Thank you.
 Bye.
 Sorry.
 - What is all this?|- It's lunch.
 Thanks, Lou.
 Got a little something from everywhere.
 I wouldn't know where to begin.
 Start at the top|and stop when you hit table.
 I had no idea so many different kinds|of foods came on sticks.
 Some come on sticks like the hot dogs and the|fried cheese dipped in batter - but others are technically kebabs.
|- What's in the cups? You got your soda, your iced tea,|root beer, lemonade.
 - I'll try this.
|- Orange Julius.
 A classic.
 Oh, my.
 That's very good.
 Your father and I know a man who owns a couple dozen|of these stands as part of his holdings.
 Now I can sincerely tell him|I like his product.
 - Excellent.
|- We forgot napkins.
 Get some more|little pepper thingies, please.
 So dig in, Mom.
 You've got sweet-and-sour pork|and pizza and some wrapped thingy.
 I already forgot what it is,|but it's probably not healthy.
 - Okay.
|- And there's ice cream, too.
 - We can get some after if you want.
|- All right.
 So how loud was I back there? You were heard.
 If I had seen somebody act that way|in a store I would have called security.
 It's really okay, Mom.
 It wasn't that loud.
|It's totally forgotten.
 Do not disturb.
 I'm eating.
 What was that phone call you got before when you were coming over|with the trays? It's this ad we're doing for the Inn.
 The drawing of the Inn came out purple,|like eggplant like Prince chose the color.
 It was bad.
 - Sounds awful.
|- It was their screw-up.
 Just one of the many joyous things|I deal with on a daily basis.
 - You were very forceful.
|- Was I? Very in command.
|I like how you handled it.
 - Well, I learned from the best.
|- From whom? From the lady eating her hamburger|with a knife and fork - that's whom.
|- Please.
 I order maids and salespeople around.
|That's different.
 I've never done anything.
 Mom, come on.
 That's not true.
 Richard's right.
|I buy things.
 Things I don't even want.
 It's all I have.
 No, Mom.
 You have friends and family who love being with you.
 And you have a house you love.
|You have a whole life.
 You could have a dog if you want.
|There's a swell pet store here.
 You're losing perspective, Mom.
|You're not seeing clearly.
 If he would just shave that mustache.
 And that's all it would take?|Shaving his mustache? Mom, you need to talk to him.
 - He's always so distracted.
|- No.
 Make him talk, you need it.
 And make it a real talk without bickering,|without snipping without mentioning Moby.
 Really clear the air.
 I got pepper, I got napkins,|I got Lou's phone number.
 He asked me to give it to you.
 - I'm privileged.
|- What did I miss? - I was just admiring your mother's life.
|- I do that daily.
 Oh, God! - Hey, Joe.
|- Hey, Luke.
 Can I get 20 singles off you? Sure.
 It's gonna cost you $25.
 It's change humor.
 I know.
 You do it every time.
 - I'll get them for you.
|- Thanks.
 - Hey, Luke.
|- Hi, Dean.
 Hold on.
 You did good! - You're short of your record, though.
|- Yeah, I'll get there.
 He's the reigning champ|of every game in here.
 I'm not here that much.
 I just come|after dinner sometimes, you know.
 Lindsay and her mom kind of like me|out of the way when they're cleaning up.
 - They kick you out.
|- I just slip out.
 They don't really notice.
 So how's married life treating you? Good.
 Real good.
 Lindsay's great.
 Yeah, she seems great.
 And her parents are fantastic.
|They help out so much.
 Like with the cleaning up.
 Her dad's over all the time, fixing things.
 - Lindsay's got this list for him to do.
|- Great.
 They're just the most unselfish people|I know.
 I've seen them around.
 Her dad works for the county, no?|He's a surveyor or something? Yeah.
 He used to but I think now he I think he's Actually, he manages an apartment so he oversees the guys,|and he's not really Not surveying much.
 Yeah, he's not in the field much.
 Okay, well,|I'll let you get back to your game.
 Yeah.
 See you later, man.
 Thanks.
 - What are you doing?|- Taking inventory.
 We should return it all.
 Mom's gonna expect to see us|with something she bought us.
 - We have to keep something.
|- $700 yoga bag? Get out of here.
 My friend, rich people like their|sweaty mats to have expensive homes.
 - We could each keep a clutch purse.
|- What's that tubey one for? - Life Savers.
|- The candy? - Yep.
|- Get out of here.
 - Turquoise leather jacket?|- Pass.
 - Hair clips with diamond Betty Boops?|- Pass.
 - Tropical-print embroidered bikini?|- Not me.
 - Luke?|- This is sick.
 This, I'll take.
 - No, I have dibs on that.
|- In your mind.
 - I said it in the store.
|- I said it, too.
 And I clutched it.
|It still has my clutch marks.
 The thing we're fighting over|is the free tote bag - that came with our purchase.
|- Nice tote bag.
 I'm upset just watching this.
 This is your window|on a whole other world, Luke the world of worthless rich-people stuff.
 People of means see what they want|and simply take it regardless of others.
 - You pour your own coffee?|- Yeah.
 - You're not supposed to do that.
|- Sorry, I won't do it again.
 - Does anyone know who this is?|- No.
 Yeah, it's Snuggles.
 - You know Snuggles?|- It's not Snuggles.
 It's the dog that looks like Snuggles.
 Snuggles' owner picked him up.
 No one picked this guy up,|and he has no tag.
 - You have a dog left over?|- You knew Snuggles by name? I don't have time for chitchat here, people! I have no idea whose dog it is.
 - Me, either.
|- Sorry.
 I don't even know his name.
 I was using random sounds,|trying to see if he'd respond.
 Paku.
 Gnocchi.
 Nini.
 Bleeblo.
 - Nothing.
|- Sorry.
 I've got to put up more flyers.
 Sunna.
 Lipdoo.
 Funo.
 Doopnap.
 I'm so tired.
 Me, too, and I have to get back to Yale.
 - I had a great time today.
|- So did I.
 Good.
 We should make this a regular part|of our weekly schedule.
 - Sounds good.
|- So next Tuesday? Tuesday's good.
 - Shoot, I can't.
 Wednesday?|- Sure.
 I'll cancel plans with Jason.
 Don't cancel plans with Jason.
 Dumb me, I've got class|that night anyway.
 All right, skip ahead a week.
 I hate that we have to schedule time|like this.
 But if we don't,|we don't see each other, right? So what about the weekend? I'll be at Friday-night dinner at Grandma's.
 Great, I won't, not this one.
 Darn.
 Yeah.
 - Hey, you want pie?|- Yeah.
 - 'Cause I'm getting my second wind.
|- Me, too.
 Let's have pie.
 Hey, Luke, we're having pie.
 - Okay, just wait for me to serve it.
|- Okay.
 Should we be worried about Grandma? I think she'll be okay.
 I mean, was anything resolved?|Are she and Grandpa gonna be all right? Don't worry about it.
 They're a team.
|They'll be okay.
 - Good.
 I like them.
|- I know.
 Thanks.
 Did you deal with that business|with the gardeners? Not yet.
 We need to resolve that.
|Those vines are out of control.
 I'll see to it.
 Be nice to have that finished|by the time I get back.
 Get back? From where? Jason and I are meeting some clients|in Manhattan.
 It's some new place downtown.
|Tribeca, I think.
 It's really an up-and-coming area.
 I'll probably stay in the city,|take the train in the morning.
 - Is that all right with you?|- That's fine.
 What do you think of these? The apples.
 I've always liked those.
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