# GilmoreGirls-S04E19
# source: https://www.springfieldspringfield.co.uk/view_episode_scripts.php?tv-show=gilmore-girls&episode=s04e19

"Previously on" Gilmore Girls: Rory Gilmore.
 - You're taking this class?|- Yes, I am.
 Wonderful.
 I look forward to it.
 I'm suing your company.
 My lawyers will be contacting you|Monday morning.
 Floyd, you're not serious.
 Which P.
I.
 did you have on me, Dad?|Paluso, I assume? He's the best.
 He gets everything.
 It's how I found out|your daughter is dating my son.
 That's not true.
 You'll come back to the firm.
 Have your own company|under our umbrella.
 - And Jason is out.
|- Jason's out.
 I left a tip this time.
 And I didn't put it under the glass,|I know you hate it, I made sure it didn't touch the syrup,|that makes it sticky and I didn't leave|the last dollar in pennies - just to get rid of them.
|- I know.
 Why are you running down the street,|yelling at me? I wasn't running, I was walking.
|I wasn't yelling, I was talking.
 - What did you say?|- Hey.
 - Oh, hey.
|- You are a lot of work.
 No, you are a lot of work.
 - You're heading in there?|- Yes.
 I need stamps.
 - You heading in there?|- Yes.
 I'm getting my divorce.
 What? - Yeah.
|- You're getting a mail-order divorce? These are the papers|we had drawn up before.
 - I just have to sign them.
|- And you're signing them in there? - There's a notary in there.
|- Luke, that is a Mail Boxes, Etc.
 So? You buy envelopes at a Mail Boxes, Etc.
|You don't get divorced there.
 - Why not?|- Because it's not dignified.
 Crapping out in a marriage isn't|that dignified, either, but I did that.
 I just want to get this over with.
|It's not a big deal.
 - I just need to sign a paper.
|- You're ending a marriage.
 - I'm signing a paper.
|- That says you're ending a marriage.
 Please let me do this.
 - Why don't you go to a lawyer's office?|- I hate lawyers.
 - How about a friend's house?|- Dougie and Scooter are off at camp.
 - This is wrong.
|- This is fine.
 This is practical.
 Getting a divorce should not be practical.
 I only have 20 minutes|until I have to be back at work.
 A divorce should not be rushed.
 For someone who's never actually|been through a divorce you sure know a lot about it.
 - You should take a few minutes to think.
|- I have thought.
 It's over.
 I know it's over.
 And all I have to do is go in there|and sign this paper in front of a notary and then it's officially over.
|I'm fine.
 Please, I'm begging you.
 Let me get divorced.
 - All right, then.
 Go ahead.
|- Thank you.
 - I thought you needed stamps.
|- I can get them later.
 - What are you doing?|- I just thought I'd give you some privacy.
 I'm not taking a shower,|I'm signing a paper.
 - I'll come back later.
|- Will you please get in there - and buy your stamps?|- Okay, fine.
 Lots and lots of work.
 Welcome to Mail Boxes, Etc.
|How may I help you? - You go ahead.
|- I need to get something notarized.
 Terrific.
 We are happy to help you with all of your mailing|and notarizing needs.
 I will need you to fill out|your name and address and then I will need a thumbprint.
 - I know how it works, Kirk.
|- You have a pen? I have a pen.
 - What can I do for you today?|- I can wait till he's done.
 - She needs stamps.
|- I can wait- - Just get your stamps.
|- But- Oh, my God, the work.
 - I need stamps.
|- Your timing is perfect.
 The breakfast-food series|just came out last week.
 Look at the dancing toast.
 Aren't they a kick?|And here is our cartoon series.
 Do you have any Lucille Balls left? Yes, I have some Balls.
 I'm sorry.
 Are you a fan of the|'50s/mid '60s sitcom heroines? - I don't know.
 Am I?|- I think you are.
 "Bewitched?" I love "Bewitched.
 " Me, too.
 Dr.
 Bombay|was a big influence on me.
 Oh, my God.
 Serena?|I wanted to be Serena with that hair.
 And the miniskirts.
 And the groovy, psychedelic music.
 - Did you practice the twitch?|- Who didn't practice it? Tabitha was so lucky.
 And what ever happened|to her little brother, Adam? They determined in Episode 242|that he was a warlock, and then- I'm trying to get divorced here.
 - Sorry.
|- I'm sorry.
 Remember when Endora|called him Derwood? Sorry.
 Oh, man.
 Beat up the toaster again? The damn thing stopped working.
 - You could get another one.
|- This'll be fine.
 Sure.
 As soon as it learns its place.
 You gonna go 10 rounds|with the coffee maker, or Thank you.
 - What happened to your thumb?|- It's from the thumbprint yesterday.
 I thought they had inkless pads now.
 - They do, Kirk doesn't.
|- Right.
 He hasn't even heard of them.
|He uses the stuff that came in the notary kit he sent away for.
 I've been scrubbing my thumb|for two days.
 - I've tried soap, cleaning fluid.
|- Have you tried fire? Now, not only am I divorced,|every time I look at my black thumb I'm reminded that I'm divorced.
 - Sorry about your thumb.
|- It's okay.
 I have another one.
 You know what might|make you feel better? - What?|- Handing me a cherry Danish.
 It's certainly worth a try.
 - Out.
|- But I just got my coffee.
 Follow the thumb.
 - Hello?|- Who is this? - This is Lorelai Gilmore.
|- No, this is Lorelai Gilmore.
 Ghastly.
 So you have my phone.
 Yes, you left it in the kitchen.
 You know what that means, don't you?|You miss Mommy.
 Yes, or that the refrigerator|was empty, and I ordered food.
 That makes much more sense.
 Hold onto it.
|I'll get it from you when I see you.
 Okay.
 Hold on, hon.
 Hello? I'm officially taking|the one hour I have off to go to the driving range to hit golf balls|to try to improve my sucky game thereby redeeming myself|in your father's eyes.
 I like the use of "sucky" and|"thereby" in the same sentence.
 - Who's that?|- It's Jason.
 - Tell him hi.
|- Rory says hi.
 Tell her hi back.
 He says hi back.
 Hi.
 - This is a sickness.
|- I'll be in, in a minute.
 - Who are you talking to?|- My other two personalities.
 - I'll bring this back inside.
|- Wait, bite.
 A frightening picture of things to come.
 - Did you talk to anyone yet?|- I left a message for Dad.
 I talked to Mom, but|she took her morning Mr.
 Happy pill so of course, she was having|a happy morning and was absolutely no help.
 But I'm on it.
 - A man on a mission.
|- That's me.
 - Fire!|- What? - Nothing.
 I was just feeling left out.
|- Sorry.
 I figure, if he doesn't call me back|by 4:00, I'll just go over there.
 Okay, I'm at the club.
|I'm gonna hang up now.
 - Call me later.
|- Me? - No.
|- No? - Not you.
|- Not me? I'm confused.
 Who's hanging up now? - That would be me.
|- Good.
 Okay.
 I'll talk to you later.
 - Jason's gone.
|- Finally had enough of you.
 Yeah.
 It took three hours|of my hula-dancing "Small World" doll impressions,|but I broke him.
 So, how's World War lll going? The first boys off the boat|were mowed down - but the next platoon is moving in.
|- Which means? Jason's making the lawsuit go away.
 - Have you talked to Grandma or Grandpa?|- No.
 Have you tried to talk|to Grandma or Grandpa yet? No.
 That's my little Kofi Annan.
 - Jason will fix it.
|- Jason's not their daughter.
 Then he might have better luck.
 Why didn't you tell them|you guys were dating? Come on.
 You know why.
 We were going to tell them|when the time was right.
 I had no idea we were|dealing with the Carringtons.
 All we needed was a swimming pool|and some ball gowns to really end the evening right.
 This is unbelievable.
 I leave you people alone for an hour|and all hell breaks loose.
 Let's talk about something happy.
|How was your paper? - It sucked.
|- Why did it suck? I just couldn't find the right hook.
 It didn't feel focused enough.
 I don't know.
|Professor Fleming's class is so hard.
 Hon, I bet it was great.
 You have to say that|'cause you're my mother.
 No.
 I'm not.
 I've been looking|for the right time to tell you.
 - Okay, I have to go now.
|- Yeah, me too.
 Danish calls.
 - Talk to parents.
|- I'll take advice from you - after that paper you turned in?|- Goodbye.
 Goodbye.
 Come on, I want to do a Heavenly Prayer.
 Hold on.
 I'm trying to do a Vulcan Sting and I just let you do|a Half Moon Death combo.
 You didn't let me, I used my Soul Charge.
 Guys, the band meeting|started 10 minutes ago.
 We can hear and play|at the same time, Lane.
 - What?|- What? Okay, fine.
 I'm going to decide|the set list without you.
 Gil, I think now would be a great time to add a little matchbox twenty|to our sound, don't you? - Thank you, Lane.
|- You're welcome, Zach.
 Okay, let's do this.
 - The gig is Friday night.
|- Who's taking care of the guest list? I need to put my wife down.
 We got a sitter that night,|so we are free to party.
 How many people|are we allowed to invite? My aunt Susan left my uncle Sid,|and she's staying with my parents and she's bringing my cousin, Turner.
 - I'm sure that's fine.
|- He's always dressed like Zorro.
 That still seems fine.
 - He's 16.
|- One less wedding you're gonna - have to go to, my friend.
|- You don't know that.
 Here.
 What's this? It's the names of a couple of chicks|I met last night.
 Put them on the list.
 Why am I suddenly|in charge of the guest list? - Because you're the most reliable.
|- How very rock 'n' roll.
 - Wait.
 Is one of those names Dixie?|- Yes.
 Wrong night.
 I want you guys to see something.
 I've been working on the flier for the gig.
 Why is there a sandwich on it? I used a flier from the sandwich shop|to get the dimensions right.
 It's just a prototype.
 The real one won't|have the sandwich on it.
 So, would there be a picture of us instead? Or put the band name|where the sandwich is.
 Just the name, I think.
|Diagonal.
 Across where the sandwich is.
 Everyone needs to stop saying|"sandwich.
 " I'm getting hungry.
 - Me, too.
 Do we have anything to eat?|- It was your turn to shop.
 - Then, no.
|- Great.
 What kind of sandwich is that? That's the Meatball Explosion.
 That sounds fantastic.
 I would dress up like Zorro|for a Meatball Explosion.
 - Why would those be connected?|- It'd be like a dare.
 - I ate cheesecake off the floor on a dare.
|- Cheesecake.
 Cheesecake would be good|with the Meatball Explosion.
 - Okay, fine.
|- Where are you going? I'm going to go to the store,|and I'm going to get us some food so maybe we can get back to work.
 Okay? Thanks, Mom! Yeah, sure, that's exactly|what I meant to do.
 Owen, good to see you.
 - Yes.
 Good to see you too, Jason.
|- You know, I was gonna call you about the changes|in those contracts I sent.
 I'll call Richard about them tomorrow.
 - Okay, or-|- Goodbye, Jason.
 All of the woodwork was|hand-carved by a Union soldier that the owner, Mrs.
 Tinley, took pity on|and nursed back to health.
 He got better, went off slaughtered a few dozen|Confederate soldiers came back, and made the stairs.
 Nice story, yes? Yes, your American history|is all over this inn.
 Look, a deer.
 I think I know that little guy.
 He was here for breakfast this morning.
|Creep up quietly.
 Take a better look.
 I have these people|in the palm of my hand.
 Travel agents are so easy.
|Are the horses washed? They're washed.
 Because I don't want them|to be disgusted by smelly horses.
 Trust me.
 They've been hosed down|with New Car Scent.
 They're great.
 Okay, let's see.
 They saw the deer,|we released the doves I've got the Stevens boy whitewashing the fence,|in short pants and a straw hat.
 No one can manufacture a quaint,|small-town moment like you, Michel.
 - Travel agents are coming back.
|- Adorable, yes? Okay, let me show you|the upstairs, the bedrooms.
 What is that delicious scent? Why, I bet our amazing chef,|Sookie St.
 James is experimenting with|her cookie recipe again.
 Why don't we sneak into the kitchen and see if we can convince her|to give us a taste? Okay? Follow me.
 - Coming through!|- Coming through! - Sookie.
|- I'm okay.
 - What happened?|- Did you make your cookies? - Is it your foot?|- I don't think I broke it.
 I didn't even hear a snap this time.
 - What about the cookies?|- The cookies are on the counter.
 Caramel-marshmallow-chocolate-chunk.
 - Where are you taking her?|- Dr.
 Su.
 Great.
 He's the best.
 - Call me the minute you get there.
|- Okay.
 God, I love having a kitchen again.
 - Put the doctor on so I can talk to him.
|- I will.
 - Hey.
|- What? - I'm back.
|- Okay.
 - This is a nice surprise.
|- Apparently this is a day for surprises.
 What's the matter? I spent the entire day|trying to track down your father.
 Do you want to sit or plant or- I left messages at his house,|on his cell phone finally, I went to the office,|and he wasn't there.
 Okay.
 The only people that were there were two extremely uncomfortable|looking secretaries who practically threw their back out|to avoid eye contact with me.
 - Why?|- Why? Yes.
 A good question.
 I asked myself the same thing.
 And then|I got a call from Richard's lawyer.
 - What did he want?|- To tell me that Richard is going back into business|with my father.
 What? Jason, no,|my father wouldn't do that.
 He did it.
 - No, that company forced him out.
|- Now they have welcomed him back in.
 He has his own boutique company|under their banner a big office, no overhead.
 - There must be some-|- And he is taking all our clients with him.
 I couldn't believe it.
 I thought it was one of those|crazy, not-so-funny Billy-Crystal-at-the-Oscars kind of jokes so I spent the last two hours|calling every client I could and they're all gone.
 The ones I brought in|from my father's company the ones I've brought in since.
 All gone.
 How could he do this? How could my father|just take the business from you? No.
 He left me the business,|but without the clients the business consists of some stationery,|a coffee maker and some rubber pencil grips.
 I don't understand.
|Why would my father do that? Because it's brilliant.
 It's perfect.
|He gets my dad to drop the lawsuit he makes some extra cash,|and he's sitting pretty.
 - Makes sense.
|- But he was your partner.
 And now he's the guy running|around town, badmouthing me.
 It is amazing.
|Your father has done a very thorough job.
 I've got nothing.
|He has ruined my reputation.
 What do I do now? I don't know.
 Move? - Start over somewhere else? What?|- You can't move.
 I have to work.
 And he's making it pretty impossible|for me to work here.
 Oh, my God.
|I'm gonna end up in Houston where all the financial wash-ups wash up.
 It's gonna be me and the Enron boys smoking cigars while their|ankle cuffs beep in the background.
 - What can I do?|- Nothing.
 I just needed to vent.
 I'm okay.
 Thank you.
 - Come in.
|- No, I can't.
 I'll call you later.
 "I saw then what I had not seen before.
 "I saw the stoop of his shoulders,|the lines on his face "like a map of a country|I had once traveled with him.
 "I hoped these marks of age|reflected wisdom "but I feared they were merely tokens,|purchased with lack of sleep "and the kind of artificial goodwill "that's squeezed from a man|in the public eye "like oil from a rag.
 " Thank you.
 You're very kind.
 Thank you, Asher Fleming for that very moving excerpt|from your new novel, "Jaglon.
 " It is an absolutely electric book.
 Now, Professor Fleming has been|kind enough to give us one hour so if you line up behind the table,|you can get your book signed and then take them to|the cash register to purchase them.
 - If you'll just follow me.
|- My pleasure.
 God, he was great.
 Wasn't he great? - He was very impressive.
|- He is so commanding.
 It's obviously not necessary|for a brilliant novelist to also be an extraordinary public speaker,|but he is.
 Yes, he is.
 - And he's sexy as hell.
|- Teacher.
 Mine.
 Thanks.
 Look at all these girls,|just flocking around him.
 - They're so obvious.
|- Hello, there.
 Hello, Professor Fleming.
|I can't tell you what a thrill this is.
 - I'm flattered.
|- You're a genius.
 Am I? How delightful.
 - I'm buying a copy for everyone I know.
|- Then you should meet more people.
 You'll make my publisher's day.
 Who is she kidding? Like he can't see right through|the multiple-book-buying ploy? - What girl hasn't used that one?|- God knows I have.
 - You want to go up and say hi?|- No, thanks.
 You go.
 We won't be disturbing him.
|I'm his girlfriend.
 It's okay.
 Really.
 Are you hiding from him|because of your paper? I'm not hiding.
 I just don't need to know how|much it sucks before it's time.
 You might be overreacting.
 No.
 Smell that? What's that? Yeah.
 I believe that's my paper.
|Thanks.
 I'll stay here.
 Please.
 She's going to hover.
 Pathetic.
 Did I show you this? Look.
 "To a wise, willful, wonderful woman.
 " That's me.
 He dedicated it to me.
 - Wow.
 That's very nice.
|- I know.
 It's not very specific, but it's very nice.
 What's he supposed to do,|write my name? - Perish the thought.
|- You know the situation.
 I do.
 As long as I know the "wise, willful,|wonderful woman" is me - who cares who else knows?|- You're right.
 I'm sorry.
 - I'm just stressed about my paper.
|- Don't take your loser paper out on me.
 Is he out of water?|I'm going to get him some water.
 - Paris, I'm sorry.
 The dedication's nice.
|- Thanks.
 Oh, yes.
 Like they read.
 This was a royal waste of my time.
|However, there were cookies.
 - Hold some so I don't look like a pig.
|- You didn't enjoy the reading? I wasn't here to enjoy it.
 I was here to cover it, for the paper|to go with the review of the book.
 And then I arrive only to realize that every single|available girl at Yale is here - including four of my reporters.
|- I'm not here on paper business.
 I'm here because I enjoy books,|and because I read books.
 - Please.
|- I do.
 - And Paris?|- She's with me.
 - And Anna and Cassie?|- Point, Doyle? Everybody's here because Fleming's|an intellectual dreamboat.
 - I'm not here for the dreamboat.
|- God, that man.
 He's got a constant rotation going.
 A new girl every year.
|Very young, of course.
 Last year it was Trey Myers.
|God, was she beautiful.
 She looked like a Swedish stewardess.
 - Really?|- Yes.
 Then they broke up at the end of the term,|and she rebounded with a drama major.
 - So, any idea who he's seeing now?|- Actually, no.
 This year's girl is a bit of a mystery.
 Maybe he's already broken up with one,|and he's trolling for another.
 My money's on the redhead.
 Hi.
 I'm looking for my father.
 - Big guy, bow tie.
|- Mr.
 Gilmore's in the living room.
 Thank you.
 - You're here.
|- Lorelai.
 - I didn't know you were coming over.
|- I called.
 Yes.
 I haven't been in the mood to talk.
 - We need to.
|- I felt like reading.
 - Why are you doing this, Dad?|- Reading is good for you.
 You learn things.
 Jason was your partner.
 If we are going to discuss this,|let's go into my office.
 Jason was your partner,|and he said he was gonna take care of it.
 - Lorelai-|- No, I'm fine talking right here.
 Jason said he was|taking care of everything and you didn't even give him a chance|before you cut him out- - This is business.
|- No, you took everything from him, Dad.
 You're ruining his reputation.
 You're making it impossible|for him to work.
 I did what I had to do.
 - You didn't have to do this.
|- Thank you for your opinion.
 That company was so horrible to you.
 They treated you like dirt,|they forced you out - and you chose them over him?|- I am not choosing- I just don't understand|why you would do this.
 Is it because of me? - Are you taking this out on him because-|- Did you not hear what the man said? Did you not hear Floyd threaten to go|after everything your mother and I have? - Yes-|- Everything I've worked for.
 This house our livelihood.
 There has to be something else|you can do.
 - Go home, Lorelai.
|- No, Dad, please I'm sorry that I lied to you|about dating Jason but you can't destroy him like this.
 I'm hardly destroying him.
 You took his entire business.
|You've left him with nothing.
 - He's talking about moving.
 Leaving.
|- So what? So? I'm in a relationship with him.
 - Then go with him.
|- You know I can't go with him.
 I have a business,|I have a house, I have Rory.
 I can't just pick up and leave.
 - Then, you've made your choice.
|- Dad, stop it.
 I am tired of this, Lorelai.
 You've shown absolutely no concern|about what happens to me what happens to your mother.
 You only care about|what happens to your boyfriend! And the worst part of it is that I never expected you|to act any differently.
 Is it really necessary? - Is what really necessary?|- Going after Jason like this.
 - I didn't know you were a fan of Jason's.
|- I'm not.
 I'm just concerned.
 What are you concerned about, Emily? It took us a long time to get|Lorelai back into this house and she is dating Jason.
 What are you saying? I worry that if you do this,|you'll drive Lorelai away again.
 - And if she goes, Rory might go.
|- She lied to us.
 To you.
 To me.
 I am very well aware of what she did.
 The last time I checked,|you didn't care for being lied to.
 Don't be condescending.
|I don't like being lied to.
 We can't control what Lorelai will do.
|Rory won't go away.
 I'm doing what I have to do.
 Who does she think she is? Walking out of my house|like she owned the place.
 Your mom didn't just go out|and get another kid.
 Korea is where you go|to get new kids.
 Ask anyone.
 There has to be another explanation.
 The explanation is, I've been replaced.
 - You have not been replaced.
|- She was wearing my bunny sweater.
 You hated that sweater.
|That's why you left it there.
 She also had|my second-least-favorite scarf and she was eating my apple.
 What apple? The one my mom would give me|if I was still there.
 Which you don't.
|By your own choice, might I add.
 - Now you're taking her side.
|- I'm not taking her side.
 I've been replaced.
 Drop by when you're in town,|meet your new best friend.
 Tip her well when she waits on you|at Luke's.
 Head over to the church|with her, share a pew.
 My mom has found a new daughter.
 I bet this one can needlepoint.
 I've got to go.
 Paris said I could use|10 daytime minutes on her phone and then, her exorbitant|prevailing rates apply.
 I'll call you back when I get to my room.
 - Are you coming to the gig on Friday?|- Yes.
 What time do you go on? -8:00, which means 8:30.
|- Shoot.
 Friday night dinner.
 - I forgot.
|- I don't think I'll make it in time.
 That's okay.
 - But I want to see your gig.
|- We will have other gigs.
 By then the other Lane|will be drumming in the band.
 As long as she's got a good downbeat Have you gone out for the pep squad yet? - I'll call you in a little while.
 Bye.
|- Bye.
 - Excuse me.
|- Right.
 A B-minus.
 Thank God.
 - Not bad.
|- Are you kidding? A B-minus in Fleming's class is like|an "A" anywhere else in sane America.
 Let's celebrate.
 - College is loud!|- Yes, it's part of our training.
 It's right up there with the bad food,|the sleep deprivation and how to hold your own hair|while throwing up.
 - What are you doing here?|- Inn stuff.
 I had to pick up hinges|and doorknobs and faucets.
 And I figured, while I was|in the 'hood, I'd drop this off.
 - Thanks.
|- You're welcome.
 You didn't have to do that.
 You could've given it to me|at Friday night dinner.
 I could have.
 Unless you're not going for it.
 - You're not going to Friday night dinner.
|- Rory? - Why?|- Things have gotten worse.
 How could they be worse?|They were already at worse.
 Dad is going after Jason, and it's complicated, but it's really bad.
 And I went there|to try to talk to him about it and he was horrible.
|He said awful things to me.
 - Like what?|- Like things.
 It doesn't matter,|but I can't just go and sit there and make small talk and|pretend that everything's okay.
 - Mom-|- Because it's not okay.
 You were mad, he was mad,|you said some things- - No, Rory.
|- No.
 Now, I don't doubt that it was bad.
 You and Grandpa|can make each other crazy but maybe once he calmed down,|he was sorry.
 - He is not sorry.
|- You could be wrong.
 Maybe if we go over there and give him a chance|to make it right, he would.
 Boy, honey, you're living|in fuzzy-puppy land.
 It's important to me|you don't back out of these dinners.
 It's the only time|the whole family gets together.
 Sometimes, it's the only time|that I get to see you and I like having it there.
 - It's really important to me.
|- Rory, come on.
 I'm serious.
 Please, just give him a chance|to make it up to you.
 Please.
 I'll be there.
 I'll be your buffer.
 - You will?|- Absolutely.
 They can focus on me,|you can focus on me.
 What about when he throws|his glass of water in my face? Then I will get very wet.
 - I'm holding you to that.
|- Yes.
 Wow.
 Caesar, I need a turkey burger,|fries, well done and I'm still waiting for|that grilled cheese and tomato.
 - Patience is a virtue.
|- Light a candle, and tell it to the pope.
 - I want my grilled cheese, "pronto.
 "|- Excuse me, Lane? Yes, Kirk.
 - I'm a little confused.
|- About what, Kirk? I'm looking at this flier you gave me and what exactly do you|have to do to get the sandwich? What? Does everyone who shows up|get a sandwich? Or is it first come, first sandwich? That's a mistake.
|The sandwich isn't supposed to be there.
 - What are you saying?|- I'm saying that's just a flier for our band.
 - We're playing Friday at 8:30.
|- So, there's no sandwiches? - No.
|- Then, why would I go? To hear some great music.
 - Can I bring my own sandwich?|- Lane.
 I know it's time for your break now but is it okay if I let Caesar take his? He owes me a grilled cheese.
 I'll do it.
 He's gotta go|to the bank or something.
 To be honest, I wasn't paying|too much attention - because he was bugging me.
|- No problem.
 Thanks.
 I'm taking my 10! That looks like it travels well.
 - Who are you?|- Hi.
 - What are you doing here?|- Where? - Why are you living in my house?|- Your house? - That house right there.
 It's mine.
|- I'm staying there.
 - Why? Are we related?|- I hope not.
 - How do you know Mrs.
 Kim?|- I am exchange student from Seoul.
 I'm here for three months,|and Mrs.
 Kim is my host.
 - Exchange student?|- Yes.
 - Who are you?|- I'm Mrs.
 Kim's daughter.
 - She did tell you she had a daughter?|- Yes.
 She does, and it's me.
 You can try whatever you want.
|I will still be her daughter.
 Why are you so mad? - Because you stole my life.
|- I did not steal your life.
 You're living in my room.
|You're wearing my clothes.
 And don't tell me|you always looked like that.
 I'm not very crazy! How'd you like it|if I moved into your house? Why don't you just go back home? You don't have to feel sorry for Mrs.
 Kim!|Mrs.
 Kim is fine! And give me back my sweater,|and my second-least-favorite scarf! On Tuesday we'll continue our look|at neglect of the individual as a hallmark of modern government.
 Be prepared to discuss Kafka's "The TriaI.
" Yes, if all goes well, it'll get very ugly.
 Thank you, everyone.
 Very nice job on your paper, Miss Gilmore.
 Thank you.
 You know, Professor Fleming I was actually a little|surprised by my grade.
 Were you? You deserved it.
 You did good work.
 To be honest, I don't feel like I did.
 - A perfectionist.
|- No, I'm not a perfectionist.
 I just know when I do well|and when I don't.
 You know, this sounds as if|you're questioning your grade.
 Maybe I am.
 This is a first.
 Today alone, I've heard complaints|from two "Ds" four "Cs", and an "F", but not from an "A.
" In fact, in 35 years of teaching I've never heard from an "A.
" I just want to be sure|that the grade I got is what I deserve.
 What exactly are you saying? Just that if the grade I got wasn't legitimately earned,|then I have no interest in it.
 How very noble of you.
 I intend to earn all of my grades.
|I don't want any favors.
 And why exactly would you think that I'd be inclined|to grant you any favors? - I'm not saying that you are.
|- You're not? Then I must have|misunderstood this conversation.
 - I'm just saying that-|- Yes? That I want to earn all of my grades.
 - Yes, you've already said that.
|- No matter how many "wise, willful, and wonderful women"|I know.
 Have you quite finished? I suppose I have.
 Before you go any further let me assure you that I do not|give grades that are not earned.
 I gave you an "A" because|your argument was well structured your writing was clear and concise and you drew a connection|from Marsilius of Padua to Machiavelli|to the modern age of media that Ph.
 D.
 candidates would envy.
 In fact, no one else's paper|was that thoroughly researched.
 Except for the other person|who also got an "A.
" You did what was demanded,|and you did it well.
 And I would seriously caution you|not to question my grading tactics again.
 Okay.
 Thanks for the "A.
" And the redhead has fat thighs.
 - Come on.
|- There's no hurry.
 We're early.
 But we're here, we might as well|go in and get it over with.
 Okay, just relax, why don't you? I would like to stop and smell|the roses, if you don't mind.
 - Mom.
|- You're young and you don't understand.
 I'm old, I'm dying, I'm gonna smell a rose.
 I don't see a rose.
|I think there's one next door.
 You're being a tad ridiculous.
 Come on.
 On a scale of one to a million how awful do you think tonight will be? How high a number did you think the walk up the driveway was? You know, I wonder which tack|my dad's gonna pick tonight.
 I bet he goes with the silent treatment.
 - Or maybe he won't.
|- Yeah, you're right.
 He might prefer the full-on frontal assault.
 You know, just constant mental flogging right from "ding-dong"|through till "drive safe.
 " - At least he said "drive safe.
 "|- No.
 It wasn't him.
 It was the maid.
 Right.
 Or maybe dad will be fine,|and Emily will be on the attack.
 Yeah, a little "good cop-bad cop",|if you know what I mean.
 Keep me on my toes.
|I won't be expecting that.
 Except that you are.
 Ready? Okay.
 Wait, just wait.
 We can still leave.
 No.
 Right now|is the point in the horror movie where the entire audience yells,|"Don't go in there! " I will be right beside you, okay? Okay.
 But I'm telling you if my dad gets ugly, I'm out of there.
 Lorelai.
 Rory.
 You're early.
 - Yeah, no traffic.
|- No? That's very Come in.
 - Did you hit much traffic?|- No.
 No traffic at all.
 Good.
 Nothing like an hour stuck in traffic|to ruin your complete day.
 Should I take your coats? - That's okay.
 We can just put them here.
|- All right.
 You're early,|so I'm not quite organized yet but, shall we have some drinks? - Okay.
|- All right.
 There's no ice.
 Do we need ice? Of course we need ice.
 - There's some in the kitchen.
 I'll go get it.
|- Okay.
 He doesn't seem mad.
 All depends on which definition|of "mad" you're going with.
 Mom.
 Lorelai.
 Rory.
 You're early.
 Yeah, we didn't hit any traffic, so It's nice to see you.
 - Where were you?|- When? - Just now.
|- I had to run out to the store.
 - To get what?|- They were out.
 - Emily, the girls are early.
|- I see that.
 - Is that ice?|- Yes.
 We need it to make the drinks.
 Shoot.
 You should take the bucket|into the kitchen the next time.
 Yes, that would've been|the smart thing to do.
 I was making drinks.
 - So, Rory, how is school?|- It's fine.
 - I just got an "A" on a paper.
|- That's wonderful.
 - You gonna let go of that purse, Mom?|- What? You're holding pretty tightly|to your purse there.
 - You look like someone's Tante Flickman.
|- I just - There.
|- Okay.
 - It's new.
|- The purse? Yes, it's new.
 I'm trying to break it in.
 - Sure.
 Otherwise, you'd get blisters.
|- Here we are.
 - Lorelai.
|- Thank you.
 Soda for Rory.
 Emily.
 Good.
 Cheers.
 So, Rory, how's school? Fine.
 I just got an "A" on a paper.
 - Has she told you about the traffic?|- Dinner's ready.
 It is? It's only just 7:00 now.
 I'm sorry.
 What time did you want dinner? You didn't tell me, so- You know what? It's all right.
|We'll just eat now.
 - Now?|- Okay.
 - What do we do with-|- Just take your drinks to the table.
 - Take our drinks to the|- I'll grab the cocktail napkins.
 - Mom, you left your purse.
|- Yes.
 - Mom.
|- What? - I was just kidding, Mom.
|- You.
 Okay, so every time they ask you|about school or traffic just do a shot.
 Thank you.
 So what's for dessert? - We're not having dessert.
|- We're not? - I'm on a diet.
|- Americans are extremely fat.
 - I think they prefer "Rubenesque.
 "|- You're not fat, Grandma.
 Thank you, Lorelai.
 She was close.
 Well, okay.
 If we're not having dessert,|then we should go.
 - All right.
|- See you next Friday.
 Thank you for coming.
 - Thank you for having us.
|- Wait.
 The Gordons gave us some|wonderful chocolate last week.
 They brought it back from Belgium.
 - You can take it with you.
|- No, Mom.
 That's okay.
 - We're fine.
|- These are really good chocolates, Lorelai.
 - I'm sure they are, Dad.
|- Did you find them, Emily? - We can just get them next time.
|- Nonsense.
 - You can eat them on the way home.
|- Here they are.
 I've got them.
 One for you and one for you.
 - Enjoy.
|- We will.
 Okay, we're leaving now.
 - Have a good evening and get some sleep.
|- All right.
 Good night.
 - What the hell was that?|- I don't know.
 Jack Nicholson and Angelina Jolie|just kicked us out with parting gifts.
 Dessert to go.
 As much as an early end|to Friday night dinner appeals to me that was just weird.
 She made a tinfoil swan.
 What was with the drinks and the|dinner? Where was she coming from? - I don't know.
|- She had to "run to the store" since when? - I don't know.
|- She came back with nothing.
 And the purse.
 Did you notice the purse? They say people change as they get older.
 - I just didn't think it was all in one week.
|- There is something wrong here.
 - Why is my mother's car here?|- She was in a hurry? My mother never parks her car|in the driveway because the car might drip oil|and make a spot on the concrete and then life as we know it would end.
 - What are you doing?|- Just seeing what's in her car.
 - Why?|- Because.
 I don't know.
 I just feel like something's up.
 - She's coming.
|- Who? - Mom.
 Hurry.
|- What are you doing? Good shoes.
 - She's leaving.
 Where's she going?|- I don't know.
 She left her house with|dry cleaning, and she drove off? - She's meeting friends?|- Tonight, after dinner? Maybe.
 I'm sorry.
 This might be crazy, but is my mom not staying here tonight? Well Great gig.
 Awesome gig.
 You're starting to wheeze|on the beat, dude.
 I've been practicing.
 Man, I am feeling it.
|We have hit the next level.
 - We have, haven't we?|- You heard the crowd.
 Dude, what was with the shirt raise? When I'm playing like that,|there is no room for clothes.
 We need a sign, because I was staring|right at you when you took it off.
 I felt like putting $1 in your pants.
 - I wouldn't turn it down.
|- Brian, honey.
 Mom.
 - You kids were excellent.
|- Thanks, Dad.
 - Aunt Susan.
 Turner.
|- Brian.
 I brought carrot sticks.
 - You want a carrot stick, Brian?|- Yeah, thanks.
 - He really does wear a Zorro costume.
|- I got to go find my wife.
 I'm so jazzed right now.
 That was great! We have never played that good.
 - You've never played that good.
|- Really? You've never given me|a compliment, ever.
 What am I, your mother? What? - Who is that?|- I think it's his wife.
 Seriously, that is just wrong.
 He should celebrate.
|We all should celebrate.
 Stay out all night, hit the clubs,|and talk about our "Rolling Stone" cover I'm thinking, the Garden of Eden theme.
 Hi, Zach.
 Shannon.
 - You remembered?|- I can read a napkin, sweetheart.
 - Nice pants.
|- You're a god.
 And we shall discuss|this further at the bar.
 So, what did you think of the lyrics? So I spent all morning on the phone calling every hotel in the area|with a decent high tea and there she was.
 Grafton Hotel, Room 421.
|Check-out date: Indefinite.
 I'm sorry.
 I can't believe my parents are separated.
 I dreamed about this as a kid.
 Of course, my scenario also involved my mother finding|her inner Timothy Leary and moving us all out|to a commune in Berkeley, but still I was convinced that|these people should not be together but you know what? I was wrong.
 Richard and Emily Gilmore|were made for each other.
 God, this is so freaky.
 And I'm not supposed to know,|and we won't talk about it because we don't do that in our family.
 We repress everything,|and we refuse to go to therapy because why tell|a stranger your problems when you can use them|to punish those around you? So what now? Every Friday I'm supposed to pretend|that they still live together and then after we leave my mother will get in her car|and drive back to the hotel? The hotel.
 My mother's living in a hotel.
|It's weird.
 It's just incredibly weird.
 I'm sorry.
 I just needed to vent.
 - You have every right.
|- I'm done now.
 There's nothing I can do about them, so Talk to me.
|You were gonna tell me something.
 I'm suing your father.
 I have to, Lorelai.
 No, you don't.
 I've gone over it.
|I've weighed every option.
 I have to respond.
 I cannot just sit here and do nothing when my entire career|is going up in flames.
 Jason, please.
 Don't do this.
 Maybe it won't be so bad.
|Maybe he'll settle.
 - He won't settle.
|- It's just business.
 Oh, my God.
 I'm so sick of|hearing people say that.
 You know I wouldn't do this|if I didn't have to.
 You don't have to.
 If I intend to continue working|in my chosen profession then, yeah, I have to.
 Don't be just a business guy.
|Put this on another level.
 Please.
 - I can't.
|- Unbelievable.
 Lorelai, I have no choice.
|I have to fight back.
 - Jason.
|- I will keep you out of this.
 I promise.
 I can't be with someone|who's suing my family.
 - Lorelai, come on.
|- I'm sorry.
 - You saw what your father did to me.
|- I know what he did to you.
 And he is not gonna stop|until there's nothing left.
 - I'm asking you not to do this.
|- Ask me something else.
 Anything else.
 - This is what I want.
|- You know how hard I work.
 My job is who I am.
 I can't lose everything.
 You have to understand|why I'm doing this.
 I do understand.
 But I can't be with someone|who's suing my family.
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