# GilmoreGirls-S05E01
# source: https://www.springfieldspringfield.co.uk/view_episode_scripts.php?tv-show=gilmore-girls&episode=s05e01

I love you, Rory.
 I love you, too, Dean.
 Are you comfortable?|Am I killing your arm? - My arm is fine.
|- I could move.
 Don't you dare move.
 This, right here, is the textbook definition|of a perfect moment.
 Yeah, it is.
 And earlier? That was pretty perfect, too.
 However, as a guy,|I was trying not to be a pig.
 - I'm happy.
 Are you happy?|- I'm very happy.
 Happy but not chatty? I'm just trying to make sure|that all this is really happening.
 It is.
 - Hey, you know what I think we need?|- What? - A song.
 Like, a song that's our song.
|- Okay.
 Something romantic, but not mushy.
|Something that'll make us remember this.
 - Believe me, I'm remembering this.
|- I know.
 Okay, perfect.
 So, from now on no matter what you're doing,|where you are you will stop and think of me|when you hear this.
 - That's not gonna be our song!|- Why not? It's perfect.
 It's happy.
 It's hopeful.
|It has the word "candy" in it.
 - What is more hot than candy?|- Pick something else.
 - Okay, I'll pick something else.
|- No.
 Hand it over.
 I can't take it anymore.
 This is what happens|when the women get the remote.
 - What was that?|- What? Rory! Hey, what's going on? - Dean came over to borrow something.
|- Yeah.
 Thanks.
 You're welcome.
 Well, I should go.
 Bye, Lorelai.
 Bye, Dean.
 What did he borrow? I'm sorry I didn't talk to you about it first.
 I know I promised I would but I swear I didn't know|that that this was going to happen.
 I mean, I didn't know he was gonna|show up tonight and it just happened.
 It's awful for you|to find out like this, I know but everything's okay.
|I'm okay, and we were, you know, safe so all those Trojan Man jokes|all these years really apparently stuck.
 And I'm lucky, too, because Dean, he's Well, aren't you glad that it happened|with someone who's good and really loves me? - He's married.
|- You don't understand the situation.
 - Is he still married?|- Yes, but- Then, I understand the situation.
 I just want what's best for you.
 That's all.
 You're just mad because I didn't come|running to you to discuss whether or not|I was ready for this step.
 - I decided it on my own.
|- Obviously you weren't ready for this step.
 Hello? Hello? Hey.
 Let's just talk.
 No.
 You do realize you just leapt out|of a moving vehicle.
 Everything cannot be|on your schedule, Richard.
 Now, where is it? I know I put it in here.
 In all the years we've been together, I have|never seen you behave as irrationally as Emily, I'm talking to you! Will you stop? Emily, this feud of ours|has now reached comical heights that Charlie Chaplin himself|would find hilarious, and he's dead.
 Don't follow me, Richard.
 Wait, come back.
|Let me get you a cane and a derby.
 - What are you doing?|- I'm looking for my European luggage which some imbecile has chosen|to hide from me.
 What do you need|your European luggage for? - To put things in.
|- You're making a mess.
 - I don't care if I'm making a mess.
|- Who's going to clean all this up, you? Yes, me, or the maid or perhaps Pennilyn Lott can come by|after one of your clandestine luncheons and take a stab at it.
 For heaven's sake, not that again.
|She's just a friend.
 I am going to Europe, Richard.
 I'm going to Europe|and I'm going to have a marvelous time.
 I'm going to get up at 10:00 and I'm going to have two glasses of wine|at lunch every single day.
 Only prostitutes have two glasses of wine|at lunch.
 Well, then buy me a boa and drive me|to Reno because I am open for business.
 I can't talk to you when you're like this.
|I'm going to bed.
 You go to bed.
 I'll go to France.
 Richard! The door is stuck.
 Richard! This isn't funny! Richard? - Emily?|- You locked me in.
 - I did not lock you in.
|- You certainly did lock me in.
 The door must be jammed.
|Did you try jiggling the knob? I suppose I could do that, or you could just|get the hell down here and let me out! Give me a moment, please.
 If you don't come down here right now,|I will climb out the window.
 You will not climb out the window.
 I will.
|I will climb out the window right now.
 Don't you dare.
 - I'm doing it.
 I'm climbing out the window.
|- You better not climb out the window.
 - Damn it.
|- Emily Gilmore I better not catch you|climbing out the window.
 I'm out the window.
 - Get down from there.
|- No! Emily, get back here.
 Emily! Are you having an aneurysm|or something? - Get inside and put this on.
|- Get away from me! Do you seriously think|that after 39 years of marriage I would resort to locking you|in a basement? I don't know what you'd resort to.
|I don't know who you are at all.
 I knew the mental illness in your family|would catch up with you eventually.
 Aunt Cora was not mentally ill.
|She was athletic! Oh, fine.
 - Is there some sort of problem here, folks?|- No.
 There's no problem.
 We got a call from some of your neighbors|complaining about a disturbance.
 We apologize.
|We're going inside right now.
 Do not tell me what to do.
 Can we have|your security password, please? Look, it's getting late,|so either shoot us or go away.
 Fine.
 We'll just write up a report here|and be on our way.
 Are you happy, Richard?|Now there's a report.
 And a report means|we'll be in the police blotter.
 Petal Huffington reads|the police blotter religiously.
 It's like heroin to her.
 You've turned us|into the scandal of the neighborhood.
 Do you know what, Emily? If nothing else,|this display tonight demonstrates clearly that you are no longer|the woman I married.
 The woman you married was your partner.
 You listened to her.
 You consulted|with her.
 You respected her.
 So, you are right, Richard.
 I am definitely|not the woman you married.
 - Oh, no.
|- It's okay.
 What happened? He landed butt first|in Taylor's rose bushes.
 Oh, poor thing.
 Didn't slow him down, though.
|I managed to tackle him as he headed toward|the miniature goat pen dragged him back here threw one of your blankets over him,|and there he is.
 - He's gonna be fine.
|- That's good.
 So, you were gone for a while.
 Huh? Yeah, I just had some things|to take care of at home.
 - Are you sure he can breathe?|- Yeah, I propped his head up.
 So - you okay?|- Yes, I'm fine.
 Okay, just|Nothing you want to talk about with me- - My God, we need to take him upstairs.
|- Lulu can't see me like this.
 - But, Kirk-|- Lulu can't see me like this! Okay, she won't.
 I promise.
|Can I take a look? Okay.
 - I don't want to take a look.
|- Well, I'm not looking.
 Hey! It's a party.
 - What's everybody doing up?|- Good timing, Squiggy.
 I was just going to check on my loaves|and make sure they're rising properly.
 The air's a little more humid|than I thought it was going to be and if the loaves aren't|rising properly, then - What are you doing?|- I need you to look at Kirk's butt.
 - Why?|- Because he ran into some rose bushes and he's got some thorns stuck in it,|and I thought of you.
 - Why me?|- Well, because you're a chef.
 - What?|- And you have a kid.
 - Yes, that's better.
 You have a kid.
|- Neither of us has kids.
 Well, she does, but it's big|and can look at her own butt.
 I got this, thanks.
 Okay.
 I'm gonna need Bactine, antiseptic,|and lots of hot towels.
 I'll go.
 I'll be right back.
 Hey, Kirk? How are you feeling? - Is Luke here?|- I'm right here, Kirk.
 - Sorry I bit you.
|- It's okay, Kirk.
 - They were after me, so I ran away.
|- Who was after you, honey? Assassins.
|He thinks assassins are after him.
 They were under my bed in my room.
 So I ran and they followed me|down the hall, down the stairs past Luke and Lorelai kissing,|through the yard, over that fence.
 The assassins are gone now, Kirk.
 - I imagined them?|- I think so.
 - What about Luke kissing Lorelai?|- I think you imagined that, too.
 They looked so real.
 Okay, Kirk, you just settle down and relax,|and I'll be right back.
 - Oh, my God!|- Sookie.
 - You kissed?|- Yes.
 I can't believe she didn't tell me.
|Why didn't she tell me? It just happened.
 - Luke, that's wonderful!|- Thanks.
 I can't wait to tell Lorelai it's wonderful.
 Could you maybe|not say anything for a little while? Why? I'm just not so sure she wants this out yet.
 What makes you think that? Do me a favor and keep it to yourself.
|Let her tell you if she wants to, okay? Sure.
 Okay.
 Call me Belinda|because my lips are sealed.
 Thank you.
 - Luke?|- Yeah? This is good.
 I hope so.
 Hey.
 Hey.
 My mom brought by brownies.
 - You worked late again.
|- Yeah.
 Do you have to work tomorrow? I work at Doose's tomorrow.
 Well, will you be home for dinner? Because I was thinking|of cooking or something.
 I guess.
 I'll try.
 I don't know.
 - You want a brownie?|- No.
 My mom put gummy bears in them,|like I'm still three or something.
 Oh, yeah.
 I found your phone.
|It had fallen in the couch cushions.
 Thanks.
 It rang a little earlier,|about 20 minutes ago.
 I answered, but they hung up.
 - You answered my phone?|- It kind of woke me up.
 - Why are you answering people's phones?|- Dean.
 I mean, you know it's my phone, Lindsay.
|This isn't your phone.
 I mean Who was it? - I don't know.
 They hung up.
|- So you didn't take a message? I told you, they hung up.
 So, great, you're just answering my phone|and not taking messages? - That's great, Lindsay.
|- Dean- Taylor calls on this phone, and Tom.
 This phone is for business, okay?|That's why I have it.
 - Fine.
|- What if Tom called and he had an extra shift|for me tomorrow? He calls to tell me, and you answer and he thinks maybe he doesn't have|the right number and he hangs up and then I just lose out,|which means we lose out.
 God, Lindsay! You know, you don't You don't get it, do you? You have absolutely no respect|for me at all.
 That's just obvious.
 I don't want to fight.
 We always fight.
 I won't answer your phone anymore.
|I was asleep.
 I didn't think.
 I'm sorry, okay? Yeah.
 Okay.
 You coming to bed? In a minute.
 Okay.
 - You mad at me?|- No.
 Just tired.
 Long day.
 I'll be right there.
 - Everything looks so good.
|- I know it does.
 - I want half of that cranberry square.
|- Okay.
 - Kirk, sit.
|- I'm good.
 You can't eat standing up like that.
|My mother says it gives you cancer.
 - Really? Mine, too.
|- Hey, look who came to visit.
 Oh, my God, the baby's here.
 Hey, short stuff.
 How's it hanging? He just came to say hi to everybody|and to see the place on which his entire college education|depends.
 What do you think? Is it gonna be Ivy League or is it gonna be|Murray's House of Learning? If we're going by the donut demand,|I think he's in pretty good shape.
 Okay, Ivy League it is.
|I just hope you're not stupid.
 Yeah? You have fun.
|Mommy's gotta get back to work.
 Be nice, and don't throw up on the buffet.
 You get over there|right now with that baby.
 - Could you sign this?|- Michel, hold it right there.
 I have a complaint.
 Michel? Can I help you? I was talking to you|and you just walked away from me.
 I'm sorry,|I thought you were calling someone else.
 Someone else named Michel? If only I could read minds.
|What can I do for you? One of my shoes is missing,|and the other has been chewed.
 - Is this a riddle? I'm very busy.
|- No, this is not a riddle.
 This is fact.
 Look at this shoe.
|This shoe was practically brand-new worn twice|and only on smooth-surface floors.
 I leave it in your hallway,|and in the morning, I find this.
 - Oh, my God, what have I done?|- Excuse me.
 I'm sorry.
 Taylor, why did you leave|your shoe in the hallway? Your complimentary shoeshine.
 - Our|- I don't know what he's talking about.
 - Hi, Lorelai.
|- No problem, Luke.
 Butt right in.
 I couldn't possibly be talking|about anything important.
 - Good.
|- I can't - I have to get back to the diner.
|- Okay.
 - I'm still standing here.
|- I have to - Sure.
|- Okay.
 But thank you so much for coming.
 - Okay, I'll Guess I'll see you later.
|- Yeah.
 - You think I'm making all this up.
|- No, I don't think you're making it up.
 You're making a scene|is what you're making.
 All right, fine.
 I'm going to find wherever I read|that you said you have shoeshine service.
 I'm going to show you,|and then he can take that look off his face.
 Taylor, seriously, I completely believe you.
 That man is why|mail-order brides were invented.
 Oh, my, my.
 Well, what a surprise.
 People will expect me|to be here for breakfast.
 - Yes, they will.
|- Okay, so I'm here for breakfast.
 Enjoy.
 Rory, we were wondering|what happened to you.
 I just ran home early|this morning to get something.
 - Hey, Davey, you came for breakfast?|- Yes, he did.
 Didn't you, Davey? Yeah, he did.
|He's got that look on his face.
 You might want to give him back to me.
 Please, if I went running every time|some guy tried to crap all over me I never would have gotten married.
 Hey, Sookie, what did you want to talk- - I'm so happy!|- I'm so glad you're so happy! Is this is a normal happy|or was there cooking sherry involved? I promised I wouldn't say anything,|but I can't help it! It is so wonderful.
|Do you know how wonderful it is? No, I don't, but I would love to weigh in.
 - You're with Luke.
|- How did you know? Luke told me.
|No, I'm sorry, Luke didn't tell me.
 - Kirk told me.
|- Kirk told you? He saw you.
 He saw you kiss Luke.
 Oh, my God.
 You were kissing Luke! - Well, Sookie, I-|- I am so glad! You two are perfect for each other.
|I have always thought that someday if you just sort of turned around|and opened your eyes, that you'd see it.
 And now you have,|I'm just so damn happy.
 - Well, I'm-|- You're not gonna die alone.
 Somebody will be there.
|Somebody will know.
 Somebody will find the body|and call the police and- Yes, that is a relief.
 I can't believe Kirk saw us.
|I thought he was asleep.
 Don't worry.
 I convinced him|he was dreaming it all.
 So I don't think he'll say anything.
|I know you're concerned about that.
 - Why are you concerned about that?|- Who said I was concerned about that? Luke.
 He asked me not to say anything.
 He said he wasn't sure|if you wanted it out.
 - Why wasn't he sure if you wanted it out?|- I don't know.
 - How was it?|- How was You know.
 Was it on top of a table? 'Cause I always thought it would be|on top of a table, like in "Bull Durham.
 " - There was no sex.
|- No sex? Why no sex? - Can't Luke|- I'm sure he can.
 There was no time.
 Everything happened so fast.
|We were here with the town and my parents flipping out|and Jason showing up.
 - Oh, no.
 Jason.
 What happened to Jason?|- His condo was on fire.
 It was? That's what Michel had me say|when we called his cell phone.
 You don't seem happy.
 - About what?|- About Luke.
 Of course I'm happy about Luke.
|It's just new.
 - I'm still processing it, that's all.
|- But he knows you're happy, right? He knows you're processing but once you process,|there's gonna be sex, right? He knows.
 I think he knows.
 - He should know.
 I hope he knows.
|- Make sure he knows, okay? Because you two together- Equals getting to the morgue|before I smell.
 I got it.
 Yes.
 - Finished breakfast already?|- Yeah, I was just leaving you a note.
 - You kind of wolfed it down there.
|- I'm a light eater.
 - So, you leaving?|- Yep.
 - Rory, don't you want to talk?|- We already did.
 Yeah, but you didn't hear|what I wanted to talk about which was how Jackson|is probably gonna have to dislocate several of Davey's limbs trying to pry him away|from Patty and Babbette.
 I have to go.
 Rory, can't we just sit down for a second|and talk about this? I already heard everything|you had to say last night.
 You know what? Fine.
 I give.
 It's your life.
 - Do what you want.
|- Thank you.
 - You're 19.
 You know what you're doing.
|- I do know what I'm doing.
 - So you don't want to talk, we won't talk.
|- Good.
 I wasn't thinking we had to talk|like mom and kid.
 I thought we could talk as friends,|but forget it.
 - I will.
|- Not that I take back what I said.
 That's your prerogative.
 He's married, and as your friend,|I have every right to point out the obvious.
 - Which you did, twice now.
|- Okay, and I stand by it though I felt maybe I could help you|figure out how to handle this as your friend who you usually turn to|to help you figure out how to handle things,|but if you don't want to talk, then fine.
 - Great.
|- We won't talk.
 - Love the thought.
|- Don't worry about me - nagging you to talk anymore.
 I'm out.
|- Terrific.
 In fact, I'm really busy,|so if you did change your mind- - Which I won't.
|- Okay, but if you did, I'm sorry.
 I can't help.
 - Taylor lost a shoe, so get in line.
|- Any end to this speech in sight? Bye.
 I told you I'd seen it somewhere.
|Look at this.
 Right.
 Michel, hi.
|Could you come over here for a minute? - Very sorry about this, Taylor.
|- Yes? Here I have a list of services,|all printed up nice and neat including seaweed wraps, facial peels,|Watsu massage and complimentary shoeshines,|all of which we do not offer.
 - Well, we should.
|- Michel.
 I mentioned them several times before,|but you don't listen to me.
 Sookie wants to make each guest|a meringue hat and you say,|"Oh, Sookie, what a brilliant idea.
 " But I want to pamper our guests|with services that we don't have and you tell me to answer the phone.
 I'm very sorry about this, Taylor.
|We will replace your shoes, I promise you.
 - Fine.
 I'm a six-and-a-half, narrow.
|- Okay.
 - I can't believe you did this.
|- You can, too.
 Get on the phone, find me shoes|and have them here by tonight and get your dogs off|the premises immediately.
 My dogs aren't- It's been a rough weekend.
|Don't screw with me.
 If Kirk can sleep inside,|why can't my chows? - Get them and take them home.
|- Okay.
 - I just have to locate Pau-Pau.
|- What? He went out for a walk.
 He's around.
|He was testing his boundaries.
 - Apparently so are you.
|- I'm going.
 Pau-Pau.
 - Luke's.
|- It's me.
 - Hello?|- It's me.
 - Oh, hi.
|- Can we talk? - We're kind of busy.
|- Burger and patty melt.
 - I just wanted to talk.
|- Talk about what? - What?|- Talk about what? - Could you find a quieter place?|- Like where? - Just go outside.
|- Phone doesn't reach outside.
 - Something that looks like tuna.
|- Use your cell phone.
 I don't have a cell phone.
 What happened to the phone|Nicole gave you? She got it back in the divorce.
 Actually, I threw it in the lake|after the divorce.
 What the hell is going on over there? - What's going on over there?|- Hold on.
 You hold on, too.
 - I'm good.
|- I'm good, too.
 - Good.
|- So - you wanted to talk.
|- Yeah.
 I just realized that, you know,|when I got back last night, I was a little distracted.
 No big deaI.
 No, it was a big deal.
 I just- - Seriously, you don't need to-|- We kissed.
 - You and me, we kissed?|- I remember.
 - And it was unexpected.
|- Lorelai, relax.
 I'm fine if you want to just forget|it ever happened, really.
 No, I don't want to forget it ever|happened.
 It was a great kiss.
 - Yeah?|- If one of us had been a frog it would have had|some seriously impressive consequences.
 - Okay.
|- So, what do you think? I think I'm really relieved|you feel that way.
 - So you concur?|- Dear God, yes.
 Good.
 So, then,|I guess we'll discuss this later.
 - Tonight?|- Tonight.
 Okay.
 - Thanks for the call.
|- My pleasure.
 You better finish|that whole thing, Pau-Pau.
 Hi, it's me.
 We need to meet.
 Come in.
 - Hey.
|- Hey.
 - I'm glad you called.
|- Me, too.
 - Everything okay at home?|- Yeah.
 Everything's okay.
 Good.
 Did I ever tell you I like your hair? - My hair?|- Your shorter hair.
 It's grown out a little.
 I like it.
 I like it, too.
 So, you wanted to talk? Yeah, talk.
 Words.
 Love.
 You what? I slept with Dean,|in my room last night, in my bed.
 - Oh, my God!|- I know.
 Who would have even thought|that Dean could fit in my bed? I mean, it's so small, and he's not small.
 He's tall, not small.
 Great, I'm rhyming.
 I didn't know|you were even back together.
 We're not.
 I guess we are now, but|I'm out of breath.
 - Sit down.
|- My mom caught us.
 - Oh, my God.
|- I mean, she didn't catch us.
 We were done, but she|We were still horizontal.
 And then she saw|Dean come out of my room and she just said all these things.
 - Oh, my God!|- What? I'm just picturing it in my head,|and oh, my God! - Lane!|- I'm busy! - Okay, but hello.
|- Go, talk, please.
 So, we had a fight.
 - You and Dean.
|- No, me and my mom.
 - Right.
|- So then I called him today and I told him that we need to talk because there were|questions and clarifications and many tiny details|that were totally ignored because he's, like, perfect, you know.
 But I had it all planned out, every word.
 I was going to be practical,|and I was going to be adult and then - Yeah?|- And then he walked in.
 - Yeah?|- And he kissed me, and I couldn't think.
 - It was just And then we|- Again? Once you get the hang of it,|it's pretty easy to duplicate.
 - Where?|- What? - Where did you do it the second time?|- At Miss Patty's.
 You did it at Miss Patty's? - Yeah.
|- She would be so proud.
 I had it all planned out.
 I was going|to get everything straightened out.
 Why did he have to walk in like that? - Lane!|- In a minute! - Lane.
|- Okay, I'm sorry, I just have to ask you.
 - What?|- How was it? Why are you whispering? Because I just think|that no matter where she is my mom can hear this conversation.
 - It was a little scary.
|- Was he nice to you? Yeah.
 It was|I mean, he loves me, and I love him.
 - Oh, my God.
|- Lane, come on! What? We were supposed|to practice a half an hour ago.
 Brian's been yammering on|about germs and spores for 20 minutes.
 I'm completely freaked out|to touch a microphone ever again.
 I'm just saying, at the end of the night,|who cleans them? - Shut up, Brian.
|- Look, man.
 I only have the babysitter till 6:00.
 Then it's my turn|to drive them to Gymboree.
 Dude, you promised you wouldn't talk about the parental issue|during band practice.
 We're not having band practice,|and it's not a parental issue.
 It's being part of the cycle of life,|and that, my friend, is pure rock 'n' roll.
 Go join The Polyphonic Spree,|you fruitcake.
 I'm just saying my bass strap has a smell.
 Shut up, all of you!|Now, that is my friend and she is here|in desperate need of some girl talk and in case you haven't noticed,|I am a girl and this, right here, is what it's like|to have a girl in the band So all of you, deal! - Sorry.
|- Lane, I think I did something that - What do you think?|- Of what? Of what I did.
 I need some perspective.
 - From me?|- Yes.
 You need some perspective|on sex from me? I need some perspective|on sex with Dean from you.
 - Dean loves you.
|- I know.
 - And you love him.
|- I know.
 - So it seems like|- He's married.
 I know.
 How did I overlook that fact? I mean,|he said that the marriage was over.
 He said that he had told Lindsay|or that he was going to tell her or that she already knew somehow,|but I didn't ask anything else.
 - Why didn't I ask anything else?|- I don't know.
 I don't remember what he said.
|I don't remember what he told me.
 - I didn't ask anything important.
|- You can ask now.
 I tried to ask now.
 I ended up having sex|on an Al Gilbert record.
 I need to know some things.
|I need I don't know what I need to do.
 - Maybe you should talk to Lorelai.
|- No.
 - But she already knows about you guys.
|- No.
 She's better than me at this sort of thing because she at least has|a frame of reference.
 - Talking to her is not an option.
|- Okay.
 Well, then What do you think you're doing? - I told you she'd be mad.
|- Get away from my drums! Well, you were in there talking|about pantyhose or whatever the hell you chicks talk about.
 You do not, under any circumstances,|touch my drums! - He adjusted your seat also.
|- You what? So, make sure they all get|the thank-you cards and light the lemon candles, so the rooms|smell pretty when they get up there.
 Thanks, and great job this weekend.
|Great job.
 Oh! My God! - My, what a lovely greeting.
|- How long have you been sitting there? - Ten minutes.
 Why?|- You scared me.
 - Like I'm Dracula.
|- My God, my heart won't stop pounding.
 Stop being so dramatic.
|I just showed up for lunch.
 It's not as if I did anything|truly terrifying like telling you that butt-crack-baring|jeans have gone out of style.
 What do you mean,|you showed up for lunch? Our lunch at 1:00.
 You, me, Rory, the three of us.
 - We're having lunch, aren't we?|- I didn't think so.
 - You didn't?|- Well, no, but- When you invited your father and me|for the weekend you said it included|a lunch with you and Rory.
 Well, yes, I know,|but that was before you left.
 What does my leaving have to do|with anything? Well, when you left,|you weren't here anymore.
 You were gone,|so we just assumed lunch was- - This lunch was your idea.
|- Yes, I know, but- - I did not force it upon you.
|- You're right, however- If you were too busy|or you didn't want it to happen then you didn't have to bring it up at all,|did you? - No, I didn't, but you left, see?|- All right, then, it is now 1:00.
 You said lunch at 1:00, I'm here, it's 1:00,|I'm hungry.
 Where's Rory? - Okay, see, you left, so-|- She's not here, is she? - No.
|- Didn't she know about the lunch? Yes, Mom,|she knew about the lunch, but you So, we And she - I'll call her.
|- I'll wait.
 What are you doing? They're drums, you're not out here.
 What are you talking about? Zach! How many times do I have to tell you|not to touch my things? We're a band! We share! - Hello?|- Your grandmother is here for her lunch.
 - But she left.
|- Could you just get back here? - I'm kind of busy.
|- Rory, this is not for me, okay? This is for your grandmother.
|You like your grandmother, remember? - Fine.
|- Great.
 - Bye.
|- Chill! You're worse than Metallica! - I did that.
|- Did you put in the meat thermometer? Yes, I put in the meat thermometer.
 I put in three meat thermometers|just in case one of them wasn't working.
 And you put the oven on 450|for 20 minutes and then lowered it to 350|for the last hour? I did everything you told me.
 I did it exactly like you told me to,|and it still turned out awful.
 Maybe you should try something else,|meatloaf or chicken.
 No, Dean likes roast beef.
|We had it at our wedding.
 His mother makes it|every time we go over there.
 I'm making dinner tonight,|and it has to be perfect.
 So just tell me how to do it again.
 - Okay.
|- And write it down.
 Okay.
 First, you rub it with a little oil,|then take some fresh ground pepper - The weather's lovely.
|- Yes, it is.
 Rory, don't you think it's lovely? - It's very lovely.
|- Yes.
 Lovely.
 Well, I don't see any reason|to put this off any longer.
 Girls, I have something to say|that may shock you.
 But unfortunately, there's nothing|I can do about that now.
 Lorelai, Rory,|Richard and I have separated.
 - And?|- What do you mean "and"? That's not enough? You need some sort of|mob-related offing to make it interesting? No, Mom, that's plenty.
|It's just we already knew.
 Rory didn't.
 Well, I mean, I didn't know know.
 - Why would you tell her?|- Mom! Who else did you tell? - So, you haven't read Page 6?|- Rory, if you need to talk about this to try and understand|why this is happening then by all means, do not ask your mother.
 Okay, Mom, I'm sorry.
|I'm not trying to be insensitive.
 It just seemed like a thing|you and Dad were going through.
 - I figured you'd make up.
|- Well, we didn't.
 I see that.
|So, wow, you're really separated? That's right.
|Your father's moving into the pool house.
 - So then, you're not separated.
|- Of course we are.
 You're separated by the pool.
 That's it.
|That's the end of your input on this.
 - I'm sorry, Grandma.
|- Well, what's done is done.
 I'm moving on.
 And to celebrate the next stage of my life,|I'm going to Europe by myself for the very first time|since I was in college.
 - I'm leaving tonight.
|- Tonight? That's fast.
 Well, I wanted to leave quickly,|so I called my travel agent and insisted that he put me on tonight's plane to Paris,|no matter what.
 He finally managed to bump someone|from a church group and I've got my seat,|and I'm leaving at 10:00.
 - And, Rory, my offer to you still stands.
|- What offer? My offer to escort you|around Europe this summer.
 Every young lady should do Europe|the proper way at least once in her life and I would be thrilled|to have your company on this very special occasion.
 Of course, I know it's very short notice.
 So if you already have plans|for the summer I completely understand.
 You know, I think Europe sounds great.
|I think you would really enjoy that.
 Remember, we loved Paris.
 And you don't have anything special|planned for the summer, do you? - No, nothing special.
|- Well, then, what do you say? - Would you like to be impulsive with me?|- Sure, Grandma, I'd love to.
 That is just wonderful! I'll call Ralphie right away|and tell him to bump another Baptist.
 We'll have a wonderful time, you and I.
|It'll be just like "Gigi.
 " - Lorelai, I'm gonna use your phone.
|- Be my guest, Mom.
 Europe? Cool.
 - What?|- So, what is this, a Henry James novel? The young lady acts up,|and her family ships her off to Europe? Come on.
 How fast did you tell Grandma|that I had nothing to do this summer? - I'm not shipping you off.
|- Oh, please.
 I'm not.
 I'm just Okay, maybe I am.
 I wasn't planning on it but maybe somewhere in the back|of my mind, I just thought- Say goodbye to Daisy Miller.
 Okay, fine, so maybe I suggested|the trip to give you some time to- Travel back to the turn of the century? To think.
 But you did not have to accept.
 - I did, too.
|- No, Rory, you didn't.
 You're 19 now, remember? You're all grown up,|and you can handle your own affairs.
 Sorry.
 That's a bad choice of words.
 You can handle your own life events,|so if you didn't want to go to Europe all you had to do|was say you didn't want to go but you didn't,|so I assume you do want to go.
 You do want to go? How come? I mean, what about Dean?|You're just gonna go off and leave now? - None of your business.
|- Did something happen? Did you guys have a fight,|or is it something else? Is it Lindsay? We didn't fight.
|Everything is fine with Dean.
 I want to go so I can get away from you.
 I'm sorry.
 Weren't you supposed|to go through this phase like five years ago?|'Cause, I mean, seriously, at this point storming into your room|and blasting your Goth rock - it's just gonna confuse your roommates.
|- Tell Grandma I had to pack.
 Come on, girls, hurry up.
|We have an adventure to embark on.
 There you go.
|My picture ID and my boarding pass.
 Rory, hurry up.
 You have to hold your own boarding pass|and you need your ID.
 Lorelai, say your goodbyes here.
 If you don't have a boarding pass,|you can't go any farther, am I right? I'm right, Lorelai.
 If you need to search me, that's just fine.
|Don't be afraid to ask.
 - Bye, Lorelai.
|- Bye, Mom.
 Hold on a sec.
|You have everything you need? - You have trashy-magazine money?|- Those magazines make Grandma crazy.
 Yeah, well, here's $20.
 It's a long flight.
 - Rory, hurry, please.
|- Coming, Grandma.
 - I have to go.
|- Yeah, you do.
 Okay, so have fun, and if you need to talk about anything,|just please call me, okay? Okay.
 Hey, it's me.
|Listen, I got a call from my sister and T.
J.
 They're up in Maine,|and they got into a little accident.
 Nothing major, just each one of them|broke an arm and a leg.
 So anyhow, they can't run|the Renaissance Faire booth for a couple of weeks.
 So they asked me to come help them out.
 And I, unfortunately, answered the phone,|so I'm on my way to Maine.
 I'll be back in about a week.
 Okay? Bye.
 Great.
 Hey.
 It's me again.
 I'm not sure if we're at the point|in this relationship where you actually need to know|that much information about my whereabouts,|so if we're not, I'm sorry.
 I could have just said|I'm going out of town and I'll call you later.
 So, I'm going out of town,|and I'll call you later.
 Me again, the idiot that leaves you three rambling messages|on your machine.
 I just wanted to tell you|I got a cell phone before I left.
 So, you know, you could call if you want,|but only if you want.
 So, that's it.
 - Yeah, a number might be good.
|- Thank you.
 Okay, bye.
 Just don't change your mind|untiI I get back, okay? Okay.
 Talk to you later.
 - Hello?|- Well, if it isn't Dean Moriarty.
 Yeah, this is the life.
 So, are Liz and T.
J.
 okay? Yeah, they're just not|getting around too well.
 Liz is all panicked|that if they don't finish out the season they're gonna lose their spot|next to the apple doll booth which is apparently the prime spot,|so I said I'd help them out.
 Very chivalrous of you.
 Yeah, I'm a regular Lancelot.
|So, you get my messages? No, did you leave a message? Sorry, my answering machine|dropped dead of exhaustion.
 - What did you say?|- Not much.
 Okay.
 So So That was a hell of a test run.
 You mean for the inn, of course.
 - Of course.
|- Yes, it was.
 Although, until you have|a successful second go round you really don't know|if everything's gonna work.
 Then I guess there's got to be|a second go round.
 Yes, it's the only thing|that makes really good business sense.
 So, where are you right now? About 10 minutes from "If I lived here, I'd blow my brains out.
 " Yes, I hear it's lovely|there this time of year.
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