# GilmoreGirls-S05E19
# source: https://www.springfieldspringfield.co.uk/view_episode_scripts.php?tv-show=gilmore-girls&episode=s05e19

Founder's Day punch? Good morning, Vietnam!|How's everyone feeling today? Terrific.
 Okay.
 I got tacos, hard tacos, I got soft tacos I got fries: curly, straight, and spicy.
 Are you serious? Trust me.
 This is the best hangover food|on the east coast.
 You got a Mars bar?|You know, hair of the dog? There's Pop-Tarts in the cabinet, Kirk.
 Coffee will be up in a minute.
|Grab some water and start hydrating.
 The smell of these tacos|is making me nauseous.
 No, no, no.
 That's the quart of Patty's non-FDA-approved Founder's Day punch|you drank last night.
 - Eat a taco.
|- Thank God.
 Hangover food.
 That's my little college girl.
 - Tito's was open this early?|- Well, it was for me.
 The power you have over|fast-food owners is astonishing.
 God, I think I'm gonna throw up.
 No, I'm good.
 By the way, thanks for leaving me|on the bathroom floor all night.
 Hey, I tried to get you up.
 - You actually used your foot to stop me.
|- I did? Yes.
 It was very "House of Flying Daggers,"|but with vomiting.
 Sorry.
 I don't remember that,|the foot part.
 - The vomiting part, however-|- Stop saying the word "vomiting" unless you want a Mr.
 Creosote situation|on your hands here.
 Oh, man, I think I got a cavity.
|I gotta stop partying like this.
 - What are you looking for?|- My book bag.
 - I believe it's in your room.
|- Room? - It's that way.
|- Right.
 Hey.
 I got you a beef burrito.
 I thought it might be too hard-core|for the amateurs in the kitchen - but I figured you'd appreciate it.
|- Thanks.
 - So, how are you feeling?|- I've been better.
 - Yeah, you take aspirin?|- Aspirin? - White pill, big "A" on it.
|- Right, yep.
 Here, before I forget, this fell out|of your pocket last night while you were pulling an "Exorcist.
 " Paris gave it to me to hold,|so she wouldn't call Doyle.
 She was the talk of the town this morning.
|Attacked the pretzel cart.
 Police backup had to be called|for the first time ever.
 - She was quite a mess.
|- So, apparently, it was a theme.
 I'm sorry.
 It won't happen again.
|Believe me.
 You of all people should know the dangers|of the Founder's Day punch.
 Did you learn nothing from Mommy's|"Coyote Ugly" bar dance at last year's|"Salute to the Quakers" festival? Now, you can't blame that all|on the punch.
 Don't get me wrong.
 I'm always up|for a little mother-daughter bonding.
 But seriously,|when did facials go out of style? - I'm sorry.
|- I just don't like seeing you like that.
 That makes two of us.
 So, what was all that stuff|you were babbling on about last night? - What stuff?|- About Logan.
 Things aren't going so well|with the two of you, huh? - I'm gonna get some coffee.
|- Rory.
 I know.
 Kitchen, that way.
 Well, this is a surprise.
 - Can I come in?|- Sure.
 You want to sit down? Nope.
 Got to stay vertical.
 What? You have, like, an octagon-imprint|on your face.
 - I can't do this anymore, Logan.
|- Do what? This casual dating thing, I don't like it.
 It's not who I am|and I don't want to make it who I am.
 Hold on here.
 Where's this coming from? It's coming from me, the ravishing|creature standing in front of you.
 - We talked about this.
|- I know.
 I didn't make you do this.
 I know.
 I'm not accusing you of anything.
|This isn't your fault.
 I don't understand.
 I thought everything|was going well.
 What do you mean?|I haven't heard from you in a week.
 I was busy.
 I had some friends in town You know what? It doesn't matter.
 You're not my boyfriend.
|You don't owe me any explanations.
 I just don't want to be|one of the many anymore.
 Rory, come on.
 - Hey, Logan, Cassandra's on the phone.
|- Take a message.
 She's got a great accent.
|Where's she from? - Lanny, message!|- Fine, relax, man, jeez.
 - Go call Cassandra back.
 We're done here.
|- How are we done here? - I said everything I have to say.
|- Which is what? I'm a girlfriend girl, Logan.
|I have boyfriends, not escorts.
 I thought I could be different.
|But I can't.
 I'm sorry.
 Maybe we can just go back|to being friends again.
 Or maybe we can become - boyfriend and girlfriend, right?|- What? - I get it.
 I get what you're doing.
|- I'm not doing anything.
 If that's what you want,|just come out and say it.
 But you coming in here,|issuing an ultimatum? I am not issuing an ultimatum.
 - That's not what I heard.
|- I said, "Let's be friends.
 " - That's not what you meant.
|- I need a taco.
 All right.
 Fine.
 I'll do it.
 - Do what?|- I'll be your boyfriend.
 - You can't be my boyfriend.
|- Why not? Because you told me|that you can't be my boyfriend.
 - If I say I can, then I can.
|- You have 100 girls on speed dial.
 You keep a second bathrobe in your closet|for overnight guests.
 That's all beside the point.
|You came in here to say you were unhappy|with the situation, right? - Right.
|- Fine.
 I've rectified the situation.
 Problem solved.
 No, problem not solved.
 Hey, if I say I can do this, I can do this.
 Hey, Logan.
 Thought maybe|I could get you to buy me some lunch.
 I'm sorry.
 Could you excuse us|for just a second? We're almost done here.
 Sure.
 I'll just wait out here.
 So, the Swedish flight attendant|should be here any minute.
 I swear this situation has never happened|before in my life.
 - Logan-|- Rory.
 Do you really want to stop seeing me? No, but I can't- 'Cause I don't want to stop seeing you.
 - Okay, but-|- So then just accept what I'm saying.
 I like trying new things.
|This is new, it's different, but I can do it.
 Are you sure? I know you can do that, but- I really want to believe you.
 Then believe me.
 We're starting fresh|right now.
 New beginning.
 Do you want to go grab some lunch?|We'll hammer out the details.
 I should probably change first.
 Go home, change.
|I'll pick you up in half an hour.
 Okay.
 See how good this is going so far? I think|I'm gonna be an excellent boyfriend.
 I agree.
 Now do you want to go tell her,|or should I? Oh, crap.
 I'll be right back.
 - Doyle?|- Hey.
 - What are you doing here?|- I'm dying.
 - What do you mean you're dying?|- I got sick and then my very considerate roommates|kicked me out because they have exams.
 - Oh, my God.
|- I didn't know where to go, so I came here.
 - I called you first.
|- I was gone this weekend.
 So I just came by.
 I thought I'd wait till you got back.
|Then I fell asleep.
 You've been here all weekend? I thought you were avoiding me.
 - I'm sorry you're sick.
|- Feels like bees are buzzing in my head.
 - Feel it.
|- What? - Feel my head.
|- Why? I just want you to know how hot I am.
 Well, when you're hot, you're hot.
|When you're not, you're not.
 That's how the song goes.
|Just follow the song.
 I don't see what putting my hand|on your head is going to get you.
 I'm not a shaman, Doyle.
|I don't have healing powers.
 - Where are you going?|- I'll be right back.
 Hold on a second.
 It's for you.
 It's Sookie.
 She's done|with her doctor's appointment.
 She say how she is? To someone who may have asked her,|I'm sure she would have.
 - Hey, Sookie.
|- The bastard put me on bed rest.
 What? Dr.
 Mank, he told me|to lie down immediately and not to get up again|until little Cherry or Norret comes out.
 Well, we'll get to the names in a second.
 So, are you serious about the bed rest? - Where are you?|- I'm at home, on the couch.
 - Are you okay?|- No, I'm not okay.
 I have a dinner to get out.
 Honey, I think we're gonna have|to do that without you.
 - But how?|- Well, we have a kitchen staff.
 You just tell me|what still needs to be done - and we will handle it.
|- Okay.
 Get a pencil.
 Okay, pencil in hand.
 You need to grate six carrots|and four parsnips.
 Then take some flour and butter.
|Melt the butter.
 Make a roux.
 What? Baby, you lost me at carrots which, by the way, was the first draft|of "You had me at hello.
 " You had me at what?|What are you talking about? Sorry.
 I see we've entered|the no-humor zone.
 Just relax.
|I'm gonna take care of everything.
 - The ducks!|- The ducks will be fine.
 They're lying in a pan with their heads|chopped off.
 So the worst part is behind them.
 Now don't worry.
|Go rest, and I'll check in with you later.
 - But-|- Happy hibernating.
 - No Sookie?|- No Sookie.
 Come on.
 Okay, now tell me who does what|and what we need to keep things running.
 Well, we need Sookie here.
 Well, she's not gonna be here,|so let's go to plan B.
 Okay, plan B.
 That involves Sookie's clone,|also named Sookie.
 - Well, who here makes the sauces?|- Sookie.
 Who here, Michel? Sookie trusts no one else with the sauces.
 She makes the sauces.
 - Well, what does Mark make?|- Salads.
 Okay, and Donny does desserts.
|What do our other guys do? Well, that man over there|does the cleaning.
 That man over there dresses the plates.
|That man uses tongs and I have no idea|what that man in the corner does but I would check his trunk|before he leaves.
 Without Sookie here,|we have salads and desserts? Pretty much.
 We can't run a restaurant|serving just salads and desserts.
 I would not go to eat, no.
 Wait.
 Okay, here we have duck.
|Who here does the duck? Nobody touches the ducks.
 Well, starting now,|someone has to touch the duck.
 I do not know what to tell you,|except it will not be me.
 - Oh, this is bad, Michel.
|- I'm getting that, yes.
 Well, we'll just figure something out,|right? Absolutely.
|Ain't no mountain high enough.
 We'll just formulate a plan,|nail down a strategy.
 You have any ideas? We could order some pizza|or Chinese food or perhaps one of those hoagies|that you cut into a million pieces.
 No more suggestions necessary, Michel.
 Well, I'm here if you need me.
 - Luke's.
|- How pretty do you think I am? Are we using a specific day?|Have you had a good night's sleep? Sookie's doctor put her|on immediate bed rest I thought it'd be fine,|but no one will touch the ducks.
 Michel wants to order a hoagie.
|I am starting to hyperventilate.
 - I'm not wearing a stretchy fabric-|- I'll be right there.
 - How's that headache of yours?|- Subsiding a little.
 The mashed-potato-mac-and-cheese-|biscuit-gravy-plate combo helped a lot.
 I have to say, half the fun|of being with you is the horrified looks on the waiters' faces.
 Please, I'm an amateur|compared to my mother.
 - What do you think, you up for a movie?|- Something really bad.
 Absolutely.
 Let's check the paper and see|if Rob Schneider's still employable.
 I think I have a paper over here.
 Well, look how long|you make a girl wait for you.
 - Honor!|- You really think you're worth it.
 - What are you doing here?|- Apparently, begging for some affection.
 - It is so good to see you.
|- You, too.
 - Listen, Logan, maybe I should go.
|- What? Oh, sorry.
 God.
 Rory, this is my sister,|Honor.
 Honor, Rory Gilmore.
 Sister? Really? Well, it's nice to meet you.
 It's nice to meet you, too.
 Hey, your sister's here.
 Cool.
 - What's the occasion?|- Well, I had to see you and since you never check your e-mail I had to drag myself down|and beg Lanny to let me in so I could show you this! Holy! - It happened last night.
|- Josh finally gave in, huh? Stop it.
 He's lucky I ever looked at him|in the first place.
 - Congratulations.
|- Listen, I need a favor.
 I'm going to tell them|tomorrow night at dinner - and I need you there for support.
|- Come on.
 I backed you when you wanted to take|a year off school and sail around the world.
 I wired you the money|when you sunk the yacht.
 I helped pay off|the Indonesian coast guard.
 Okay, okay, I give.
 I'll be there.
 Thank you!|I love you, I love you, I love you.
 Okay, now I can breathe and focus on you.
 - Hi.
|- Hi.
 I'm sorry.
 I'm totally blanking.
|Your name is Rory.
 Rory Gilmore.
 Yeah, Rory's my girlfriend.
 You okay over there? You need a little water or a time machine? I'm sorry.
 Did you say girlfriend? - Yes.
|- It's new.
 Oh, my God! I've never heard him call anyone|his girlfriend before.
 Well, Alyssa Milano but he was 10 and in a weird|"Who's the Boss?" phase.
 Wow, time flies when you're getting|pushed out the door.
 Okay, I'm sorry.
|Listen, you must come to dinner, too.
 No, really.
 Come.
 Please, come.
|It'll make it more festive and distracting.
 We'll see.
 Okay, fine.
 I have to go.
 I'll see you tomorrow night.
|Please don't be late.
 I promise.
 - Bye, Rory.
|- Bye.
 And that is my sister.
 - I like her.
|- Yeah, she's cool.
 Listen, you do not have to take me|to dinner tomorrow.
 It's a family thing.
 I totally understand.
 - No, you should come.
|- Logan.
 Boyfriends bring their girlfriends|to their family's houses for dinner.
 It's natural.
 - How would you know?|- I saw it on "Who's the boss?" Now, let's find that paper.
 There's the fridge.
 Stove's over there.
|Grill's on the side.
 Freezer's in back.
 That's salad man, plate man, tongs guy check-his-trunk-before-he-leaves guy.
|Here are the ducks.
 - Are you familiar with ducks?|- I'm familiar with ducks.
 Not just familiar,|like you know what a duck is.
 - Have you cooked duck?|- I can handle the ducks.
 Relax.
 Ducks handled.
 Good.
 Now, does Sookie have a menu,|notes, or Thanks.
 - Me llamo Manny.
|- Manny.
 Gracias, Manny.
 Sookie said everything you need's|in that folder.
 It's a little unorganized.
 It wouldn't be Sookie's fault,|if it wasn't a little unorganized.
 - So, what can I do to help?|- Nothing.
 - Perfect answer.
|- Not without a hairnet.
 Okay, I'll be out there if you need me.
 He's right there.
 - What's going on?|- I'm taking care of you.
 You're Hey! This is Nanny.
|She only speaks Portuguese.
 What's Portuguese for:|"Ow, you're ripping my chest hair out"? Clean shirt.
 Got it.
 What's she doing? What's that jar? She's got salve! Doyle, relax.
|Nanny took care of me for years.
 Do you remember when Han Solo finds|Luke Skywalker in the snowstorm and he cuts open their dead tauntaun|to hide inside? That's what I smell like at this moment.
 She makes that balm herself.
|I'm telling you, it's magic.
 Paris, no offense to Nanny|and her magic healing balm but when I came over here,|I thought you would take care of me.
 I am taking care of you.
|I brought you Nanny.
 I don't want Nanny.
 I'm scared of Nanny.
|Can't you just take it from here? - No.
|- Why? - Sick people freak me out.
|- You're pre-med! Paris.
 Lie down.
 You'll feel better soon.
|I promise.
 Luke, Sookie.
 - Hey, Sookie.
|- Hi! - Hi.
|- What are you doing? - I'm cooking.
|- Right, good.
 Little test.
 So, I was just checking in,|making sure everything was fine.
 Everything is fine.
 The ducks are working out for you? Ducks are selling like hot cakes.
 Like hot cakes.
 God, you are a funny guy.
|I just, I never realized.
 So, I just wanted to tell you that I'm really gratefuI to you|for jumping in like this.
 Happy to jump.
 - Are you straining the sauce?|- Excuse me? - The duck sauce.
 Are you straining it?|- Yes.
 - Twice?|- No.
 Well, it's really best if you strain it twice.
|It makes it really smooth.
 People seem to be liking the sauce,|Sookie.
 Well, sure, when you don't know|what you're missing, then- Okay, from now on,|I will strain the duck sauce twice three times, if it'll make you happy.
 - No.
 Then it'll be too runny.
|- Twice it is.
 - Thank you.
|- You're welcome.
 I got Sookie on the phone.
|You need to talk to her? Yes, actually, great.
 I'm handing over to Lorelai.
 Hey.
 He's not straining|the duck sauce three times, is he? Not to my knowledge.
|Hey, Sookie, where are the applications? I don't know why you'd joke|about a thing like that.
 Three times, that's not funny! Sookie.
 The applications|from the Culinary Institute for your temporary replacement? - Are they not there?|- It depends on where there is.
 They're around somewhere.
 Check the freezer.
|Sometimes I like to read in there.
 That's very Lucy of you.
 - I'll call when I find them.
 Now rest.
 Bye.
|- Bye.
 You know, I love watching you cook.
|It's hot.
 'Cause you're standing next to the broiler.
 Is that what we're calling it now? Not in front of the guys.
 Please.
 Fine.
 I'll save my dirty cooking jokes|for later.
 Yeah, I was just wondering if I could get you|to resubmit those applications.
 Well, we seem to have misplaced them.
 As soon as possible would be great.
 Okay.
 You can just fax them over.
|Thanks.
 Bye.
 - Hello? Is somebody there?|- Hey, Mom! Hey, Mom? That's it? You just gave me a heart attack.
|All you have to say is "Hey, Mom"? I thought you were a serial killer.
 Who you were going to challenge|to a pillow fight? What are you doing here,|Sassy McSasserson? I needed some stuff.
 - What stuff?|- My blue dress.
 - What do you need your blue dress for?|- Okay.
 I'm going to tell you something,|but when I do, you cannot say a word.
 Why not? - Because I don't wanna hear it.
|- Hear what? - What you'll say.
|- How do you know what I'll say? Trust me.
 I know.
 Hey, I've been known to say|some very surprising things.
 "Hugh, I know you're with|Elizabeth Hurley "but how about picking up a hooker|tonight?" That was me.
 - Mom!|- Okay, fine.
 Logan and I are now|boyfriend and girlfriend.
 And I'm here because|I need my blue dress to wear to his parents' house tonight.
 I went over to Logan's|apartment yesterday.
 I told him that I didn't want to do|the casual dating thing anymore and that we should just go back|to being friends.
 Instead, he decided to commit.
|Not a word.
 Now, I know that things|may have started off a little rocky.
 But I am very happy|with the way things are going and I think that in time, you will be, too.
 I have everything I need.
|I have to get going.
 Logan's picking me up at 6:00.
 It was nice talking to you.
|Don't forget to breathe.
 Good.
 Add the parsley.
 Get it out there.
 - Kitchen.
|- Do you put walnuts in your béchamel? Sookie? - Do you put walnuts in your béchamel?|- No.
 You don't put walnuts in your béchamel.
 Sookie, I have things burning, so I- I thought I tasted walnuts.
|What things are you burning? What do you mean you tasted walnuts? You want to get fancy,|you can do that at your own diner.
 My béchamel sauce is classic.
 How are you tasting the béchamel? And, I don't remember|including goat cheese in the fenneI salad.
 - How do you know what's in the salad?|- So you admit it.
 You put goat cheese in the fennel salad.
 Yeah, I put cheese in the salad it goes good in the salad,|and you had it sitting there.
 And I also have some Brillo pads|sitting there.
 You want to toss a couple of those|into the fennel salad, as well? - How do you know all this?|- I just assumed.
 You just assumed I put goat cheese|in the fennel salad? And walnuts in the béchamel.
 I did not put walnuts in- Sookie, are you having people|bring you my food? You are! You're calling here having people sneak food out|behind my back, so that you can taste it.
 You paranoid or what?|Jeez, man, time for a vacation.
 Hold on.
 Okay, here's the deal.
|Announcement, please.
 From this moment on there will be no more food|leaving the premises.
 The food goes from here to the|dining room or upstairs and that is it.
 No more food will leave the premises.
 No quiero que ninguna comida|salga de este lugar.
 Comprenden?|What about you? You "comprende?" That's my kitchen, Luke.
 And it will be here waiting|when you get back.
 Until then, sit back, relax,|and watch Ellen dance around.
 - I got work to do.
|- Luke! - Hey, Paris.
|- Hey, Rory.
 - I scare?|- No.
 Yes.
 Excuse me.
 - There's a woman in my room?|- That's Nanny.
 You know Nanny.
 That makes me sad|that you don't remember Nanny.
 She always liked you.
 She's stripping my bed.
|Why is she doing that? She finally got Doyle to sleep,|and she has to do something.
 The woman doesn't tire.
 She's a machine.
 What do you mean|she finally got Doyle to sleep? He's here.
|He's sick, so Nanny's taking care of him.
 - Why aren't you doing it?|- Sick people freak me out.
 - You're pre-med!|- I'm tired of having that thrown in my face.
 Paris, could you please just get Nanny|out of my room? I have dinner with Logan tonight.
|I have to get ready.
 - Logan? I thought you guys were-|- We were.
 What happened? Well, I told him that I didn't think|things were working.
 That we should just be friends.
|But he didn't want to be- - Just friends.
|- No, it seemed to wake him up.
 So now he wants to give|commitment a try.
 A commitment? With Logan? - Yep.
|- I don't believe it! You did it.
 You landed the whale.
 - You're Annette Benning.
|- I'm not Annette Benning.
 It was just a matter of getting him|to focus on the situation.
 Focus.
 - She's gonna buff your shoes.
|- I need these.
 My God, my room is clean! Where are my keys?|What did I do with my keys? Just your parents live here? Got them.
 Well, I certainly hope the drainage is good.
 Excuse me? If it's not good,|and you have pooling somewhere you may not know it for months.
 I'll be sure and mention that to them.
 - You look nervous.
|- Do I? - Just not so sure what I got you into.
|- What do you mean? My family's not gonna take|my sister's engagement too well.
 And they can be|a little vicious when annoyed.
 Hey, relax.
 You do not|have to worry about me, at all.
 Five years of Friday night dinners|have prepared me - for exactly this moment.
|- Really? Remind me to tell you about the time my mom climbed out|a second-story window to get away from my grandmother.
 I will.
 - Okay, ready?|- Ready.
 You are late.
 - Fifteen minutes.
|- It's awful.
 A morgue.
 It's like they already know|what I'm going to tell them.
 You have been with Josh|for three years now.
 I don't understand it.
|I told them you were coming because that usually makes Mom happy.
 I told them you were bringing Rory|so they'd be on their company behavior.
 But from the minute Josh and I walked|in that door, it's been Iceberg City.
 Josh is completely panicked.
 Shaking.
 Wow.
 Sorry.
 Don't be sorry.
|Just get in here and stop it.
 Remind me to tell you about the time my mother wore a shirt|with a rhinestone penis on it and my grandma had her car towed.
 - Look at the ceiling!|- Come on.
 - Have you seen this ceiling?|- Hurry! Well, look what the cat dragged in.
 I'm sorry we're late, everyone.
 It's all right, Logan.
|We're still waiting for your father.
 Hey, Grandpa, nice to see you.
 - Did you get those books I sent you?|- I did.
 Thank you.
 - Hey, Josh.
 You're looking well.
|- You, too.
 Everyone, I'd like you to meet|Rory Gilmore.
 Hi.
 It's really nice to meet you all.
|This house is amazing.
 Seriously, there should be|a docent at the door.
 Well, thank you, Rory.
 You know Rory's grandparents, Mom,|Richard and Emily.
 Yes, of course.
|How are Richard and Emily doing? - They're doing very well.
|- That's wonderful.
 - So, you were at the wedding, right?|- Why, yes, we were.
 It was lovely.
 Emily certainly knows|how to plan an event.
 That, she does.
 I should send her a note.
 Hey, Grandpa,|can I freshen your drink for you? I'm sorry.
|Can we get you something, Rory? I got it, Mom.
 - Logan, I don't think-|- Club soda, Ace.
 Thanks.
 Apparently Mitchum is still at the office.
|We might as well start dinner.
 So Come on, you'll feel better|when you have some food.
 I'll feel better when we're leaving.
 So sorry.
 We owe you one.
 - Is that a Velazquez?|- Come on.
 It is! That's a Velazquez!|This house is so cool! So, I'm holding in my hand|one of our comment cards on which a particular person has written: "Best meal I've ever had.
|The duck was exceptional.
 "The lamb chops were amazing.
|Ask the chef if he'll marry me.
 " - What do you think?|- What does she look like? I didn't say it was a she.
 - I'll stick with what I have.
|- Sweet.
 I didn't know|you were making lamb chops.
 Last-minute addition.
 You know,|your kitchen crew here is great.
 Mark, the salad guy, top-notch.
|Javier is one hell of a grill man and Manny, your sous-chef I'd kick Caesar out on his ass|if I could steal Manny.
 You covet my kitchen staff.
|I'm feeling superior, and I like it.
 Okay, guys, we need two sea basses,|one chicken and one pepper steak without the pepper,|go figure.
 Where's Pedro going? I knew it.
 Are you insane? - You wouldn't take my calls.
|- How long have you been up here? Since you made me promise that|no food would leave the premises.
 Well, here I am, keeping my promises.
|Pedro, give me the ladle.
 - Pedro, do not give her that ladle.
|- Give me the ladle, Pedro.
 - Vente junto con migo, Pedro.
|- Yo soy su jefe, Pedro.
 - You're scaring Pedro.
|- You're scaring Pedro.
 All day long, things are disappearing.
|Salads are suddenly gone.
 Lamb chops don't make it to the table.
 I had to make sure you were doing it right.
 You're supposed to be home! No! I'm supposed to be in bed.
|And I'm in bed.
 You said that you would|double-strain the duck sauce and you, my friend,|are not double-straining.
 There will be no more of this.
|No more calls.
 No more questions.
 No more ladles that leave that kitchen.
 I don't care what bed you're in.
|That is between you and your husband and God, I hope, a qualified therapist.
 But you will not interfere|with me anymore.
 Period.
 Give me that.
 - So, Grandpa, how's the new boat?|- It's a boat.
 It floats.
 I hear it's beautiful.
|When are you gonna let me take it out? Now, Logan, you don't have the best track|record when it comes to boats.
 Only other people's boats.
|Our boats are very safe.
 We should do a summer trip.
|Maybe hit the Amalfi Coast again? All of us.
 Rory, Josh, you, me.
 Dad.
 - Maria!|- Yes, sir.
 It's too hot.
 Bring me a salad.
 I'll be right back.
 - What?|- Mom's a stress smoker.
 I don't understand why|everyone's so upset.
 Josh seems fine.
 The Huntzbergers aren't interested in fine.
 - Sarah!|- Yes, Dad? - What time did Mitchum say he'd be here?|- I don't know.
 He didn't say.
 - Well, this is ridiculous.
|- Please, Dad.
 We're all just gonna sit around this table|and pretend there's nothing going on? Let's just wait for Mitchum.
 There are serious matters|to be discussed here.
 This is an important family.
|Marrying into it is important business.
 But, no, we can't discuss this|until Mitchum gets here.
 What is this? Go away! Okay, I'm sorry.
 I have to jump in here.
 Grandpa, we all respect you|and Mom and Dad but the bottom line here|is Honor has to be happy.
 Now, if she loves Josh, then- I appreciate you defending me,|but I can take it from here.
 Mom, Grandpa, I had hoped that you|would be happy for me but obviously, that's not going to happen.
 You didn't even let me announce it|before you formed an opinion.
 I'm sorry you feel the way you do,|but Josh and I made it official last week.
 We are engaged now,|and no matter what you say we are going to get married in June.
 Of course you're going to get married.
|You've been dating for three years and I already put a hold on the Japanese|tea garden for next spring.
 Well, that sounds great.
 Thank you.
 So, we should celebrate then.
 We'll celebrate when we've finished|our discussion.
 Which discussion? The discussion about unsuitable people|marrying into this family.
 - What?|- I'll be right back.
 You should know better than this, Logan.
 I know you like to joke around|and tease us but I always thought,|at the end of the day you understood what your responsibilities|to this family were.
 Mom, I suggest you come back|in here right now! Logan, you just haven't|thought about this.
 I mean, I'm sure Rory understands.
 She wants to work.
 Isn't that right, Rory? Emily's always talking about you|wanting to be a reporter and travel around doing this and that.
 A girl like Rory has no idea what it takes|to be in this family, Logan.
 Oh, my God.
 She wasn't raised that way.
|She wasn't bred for it.
 This isn't at all about her mother.
 It's just, you come from two|totally different worlds.
 It would never work.
 Not for you, and certainly not for us.
 This conversation is gonna end right now.
|I'm not going to sit here- You are gonna be taking over|this company that's what you are gonna be doing.
|And when you do you're going to need|the right kind of person at your side.
 - This isn't college, Logan.
|- Whatever happened to that Fallon girl? I loved her.
 Do you talk anymore? No, we don't talk.
 We never talked.
|You talked.
 What a shame.
 I just loved her.
 Okay, let's go.
 Logan, you have to understand you bring this girl home|without any warning at all and Honor tells us|you're calling her your girlfriend.
 We have to take that seriously.
|Logan, come back here.
 I don't understand.
 They're psychotic.
|What more is there to understand? - Why don't they think I'm good enough?|- Rory.
 I mean, I'm a Gilmore.
 Do they know that? My ancestors came over|on the "Mayflower.
 " Don't try and analyze it.
|There's no rhyme or reason.
 I had a coming-out party.
|I went to Chilton and Yale.
 Why are they okay with Josh?|He doesn't even say anything.
 At least I noticed the Velazquez.
 Josh isn't marrying the heir|of the Huntzberger fortune.
 You are.
 - I got to get out of here.
|- Logan.
 Perfect.
 Did they start dinner?|Is it some sort of precious fish dish because I'm dying for a steak.
 You're Rory, I assume.
|Heard a lot about you.
 - We're leaving.
|- What? Why? You know why.
 I had a long day, Logan.
|Don't want to play games.
 - Is dinner over?|- No.
 The Huntzberger family shanghai is over.
 Dinner, however, is still going on.
 Okay.
 What happened? Oh, no.
 Why is your mother smoking? We have to go.
|I'm sure they'll fill you in on everything.
 It was nice to meet you.
 - Paris, come on in.
 We're just chatting.
|- I see that.
 I got to tell you, Paris, you're right.
|This stuff is magic.
 She just taught me that.
 - She's great.
|- Yes, she is.
 - So, you seem better.
|- I am so much better.
 Nanny's got me salving every four hours.
|I've steamed, I've had soup.
 All I need is one more good NyQuil|knockout sleep and I'll be as good as new.
 - Hey, could you?|- Oh, sure.
 I got to tell you, Paris,|you're a life-saver.
 Really.
 Paris? Paris, the NyQuil.
 Doyle, it's time we have a talk|about our relationship.
 - But-|- Doyle! Focus.
 - Hey, you in the hat.
|- Jackson, what- How dare you take a ladle|from a pregnant woman! Dr.
 Mank very specifically said|that she needs to relax.
 She cannot relax thinking you're in here|screwing up her sauce! I'm not.
 While there's a very good chance you|could kill me in a fight, I do not care.
 That woman is my wife,|and she is carrying my baby.
 So, from now on, if she wants to talk,|you will talk.
 If she wants to taste your food,|you will let her taste your food.
 If she wants you to double-strain that|sauce, you will double-strain that sauce because I have to live with her, and if|she is upset, I will come over here and soundly kick your ass! That is, if you haven't killed me yet.
 Hey! - Hey.
 That's it.
 I've had it.
|- You've had what? She's a crazy woman,|and now she's upstairs.
 And ladles are mysteriously|flying out of the kitchen.
 - Who's upstairs?|- Sookie's upstairs.
 - Sookie's at home.
|- No, Sookie's supposed to be at home.
 Then I didn't strain the sauce twice,|so she came here to drive me crazy and she brought|her loony husband with her.
 Jackson's here? How am I missing all this? I don't know, and I don't care.
|I'm through.
 I'm not taking this anymore.
 What do you mean?|What are you gonna do? You want to know what I'm gonna do?|Nothing! Because I am in a relationship with you! You know very well I can't leave.
|All I can do is come out here, say I'm through and pretend I have a leg to stand on,|and then march back into that kitchen,|and keep doing the job.
 I ought to be thinking about|what I would've done if we weren't in a relationship,|though that would mean I wouldn't be in this position|in the first place.
 Excuse me.
 If this is the eccentric-couple version of "The Amazing Race,"|I think you guys are winning.
 Are we talking to her?|I don't think we're talking to her.
 Hey, it's Lorelai.
 Girlfriend of Luke.
|And we're not talking to Luke.
 I'm talking to Lorelai.
 How you doing? - Sookie, this is not bed rest.
|- My feet are up.
 - I told you not to talk to her.
|- What is with the 'tude, cranky pants? - He's very mad at Luke.
|- I'm not Luke.
 By extension, you are Luke.
 Sookie, what were you doing at the Inn? Checking in on the restaurant.
|That's my job.
 Not anymore.
 Your job is bed rest.
 Honey, easy on the bumps.
|Baby doesn't like the bumps.
 Jackson, stop.
 She and that boyfriend of hers,|bossiest couple in town.
 Stop! At least let me ride.
 Okay, go.
 Sookie, you knew the day was coming|when you wouldn't be able to come in.
 I had three weeks.
 You never had any applications, did you? I meant to.
 No one was good enough.
 No one's as good as you,|but plenty of people are good enough.
 We just need one of them.
|Just till you're back on your feet.
 - I know.
|- Luke's not as good as you, either.
 That kind of cooking's|a little fancy for him, but he tried.
 Hey, he's not bad.
|He's pretty good, in fact.
 - What does he put in these?|- What is that? His lamb chops.
 They're amazing.
|I'm taking them home to study.
 Well, you could have just asked him.
 - He's mad at me.
|- We're mad at him.
 We're all gonna stop|being mad at each other.
 - Now, pull over.
|- Why? - 'Cause you live here.
|- Oh, yeah.
 You know, Luke said that Manny|was doing pretty well.
 I know.
 I trained him.
 You know, when I first met him,|he didn't know a gefilte from a chiffonade.
 - Yeah, well, he's from New Jersey.
|- He picked it up quick.
 Maybe he can take over while you're out.
|Keep it in the family.
 He knows all your secrets.
 Okay.
 We'll go with Manny.
|He's a good guy.
 I think that's a good idea.
 - Thank Luke for me.
|- I will.
 And find out what's in these lamb chops,|'cause they're driving me crazy.
 I promise.
 Jackson, get her inside|and don't let her move.
 - Hey, how are you gonna get back?|- I thought I'd take the cart you guys stole.
 - Perfect.
|- This all turned out pretty good.
 So - okay if I just drop you here?|- Drop me here? Lights are on.
 Paris is home.
 I've had|about all the crazy I can for one evening.
 Okay.
 Sure.
 You know we don't have to go in.
|We can go get something to eat.
 - I'm not hungry.
|- Okay.
 - I just want to walk a little, clear my head.
|- Okay.
 I'll call you later.
 - Tomorrow?|- Yeah, tomorrow.
 Does it seem like Frodo is on every|fricking channel to you, or is it just me? God, I have never been this tired.
 You were one hell of a white knight|today, baby.
 Yes, I'm a regular Lancelot.
 You starting to snooze? Do you want to go upstairs|or are you okay right here? Luke.
 What did you put in the lamb chops? - Forget it.
|- Come on.
 - Saved by the bell.
|- I'll be right back.
 - Hello?|- You busy? What's wrong? Dinner was awful.
 Hold on.
 Okay, hit it.
 Well, to make a long story short,|Logan's family hates me.
 That's impossible.
 It's like hating Thumper.
|No one hates Thumper.
 They think I'm trash.
 They think I'm not good enough|to marry into their family.
 What are they talking about? - Don't they know you're a Gilmore?|- I don't think they care.
 And who said anything about|marrying into their family? Apparently, Logan bringing me over|for dinner said that I was going|to marry into their family.
 That's crazy.
 I know, they just got all panicked|and started saying all these things.
 - To your face?|- Right there at the dinner table.
 - What?|- They went on and on about how I'm going|to be a career woman and: "Logan, you don't want that.
|She won't understand our lifestyle "or the demands|or the family responsibilities.
 " What family responsibilities?|Who are they, the Gambinos? Then his mother starts in on|"that lovely Fallon girl " and doesn't Logan see her anymore|because she would make a perfect choice.
 - What did you say?|- Nothing.
 I just sat there.
 I just sat there and let them say|that I wasn't good enough and that Logan was making a mistake|and just wait till his father came home.
 - I hate these people.
|- It was awfuI.
 Logan didn't just sit there and|let them attack you all night, did he? No, he got really mad|and he told them they were all crazy - and then we left.
|- Well, good for him.
 But we didn't say a word to each other|all the way home.
 And then, walking back to my dorm he just looked so freaked.
 I could tell that he was just I don't know, rethinking everything the whole relationship.
 And I'm just afraid he's gonna bolt.
 Mom? Can I say something,|something you may not want to hear? Yes.
 If he is gonna bolt,|maybe you should let him bolt.
 He told you, Rory, he told you|he was not a commitment kind of guy just like you're not|a non-commitment kind of girl.
 And you tried to be|something you weren't and it was bad.
 It didn't work for you.
 Don't try and force him|to be something he's not.
 I didn't force him.
 I know, but he was looking at losing you and he didn't want to,|and I give him credit for that.
 But maybe in the end this is not the guy|or the relationship for you.
 I don't care what his family thinks.
 This has nothing to do with his family.
 We're good together, Mom.
|I'm good for him.
 - But maybe he isn't good for you.
|- People can change.
 Do you want to be in the business|of changing someone? Maybe he wants to change.
 Two days ago,|you were on the bathroom floor crying about why he won't call you,|why doesn't he like you, what did you do.
 I was drunk.
 I was sick.
 You, my beautiful, brainy,|fabulous daughter were lying on the floor of the bathroom|wondering what you had done wrong which is disturbing to me|on several levels including the fact|that I can't remember the last time I cleaned the floor of the bathroom.
 Is that really the kind of relationship|you want to be in? Hold on.
 Hey.
 - Everything okay?|- I'm sorry.
 - For what?|- For just taking off like that.
 I just - This was a very intense evening for me.
|- I'm sure.
 But taking off like that, I was overreacting.
 That's just stupid, so forgive me? There's nothing to forgive.
 Come on.
 Grab your coat.
|I'll take you to get something to eat.
 Okay.
 I'll be right back.
 - Did you hear that?|- Yeah, I sure did.
 Everything's fine.
|I just got upset about nothing.
 - Okay, but-|- Thanks for the talk, Mom.
 And I heard you, but I have to go.
 - Okay.
 Call me tomorrow.
|- I will.
 He got dumped two years ago.
 Apparently, it was a vicious|Julia Roberts to Kiefer Sutherland kind of dump.
 She broke his heart, slept|with his best friend, and took the dog.
 He swore off women completely|until he met me.
 That was a lot of ground|you guys covered last night.
 He finally admitted,|once his cough started coming back that what we have,|he no longer views as casual.
 - He said we are officially in a committed-|- Hey, I know that word.
 relationship, and I'm not out|of line, calling myself his girlfriend.
 Then I handed him the NyQuil,|and then he passed out.
 - Very romantic.
|- I know.
 - I'm happy for you.
|- I'm happy for me, too.
 - Mr.
 Huntzberger.
|- Hello, there.
 - Hello, Rory.
|- Hi.
 Paris Geller.
 We met a couple months ago.
 I remember the handshake.
|Reminded me of Jimmy Breslin's.
 - High compliment.
|- Would you excuse us? Oh, sure.
 Are you looking for Logan? No.
 I know better than to look for my son|in the newsroom.
 - I came to talk to you.
|- About what? - I'm very sorry about what happened.
|- It's okay.
 My family behaved atrociously.
|Though Logan was a little naive to walk into the lion's den|without a chair like that they were wrong,|and you deserve an apology.
 Okay.
 Thank you.
 So, I hear you have some rather lofty|journalistic aspirations.
 I have plans.
 You know, my company just acquired a small newspaper,|The Stanford Eagle Gazette.
 Decent circulation, pretty sorry writing,|but definite potential.
 When we buy a new paper, I like to spend|some time there, take a couple of months.
 Help turn it around, make sure we're|getting our money's worth.
 Stanford isn't a bad train ride|from here, is it? No.
 I have an internship available,|if you're interested.
 An internship? It'd be a good chance for you to get|your feet wet experience how the real thing works.
 No.
 Thank you.
 - "No, thank you"?|- I appreciate the offer.
 But, no.
 May I be so bold, as to inquire,|why the hell not? Because I have a feeling that|the only reason you're doing this is because you feel guilty about|what happened the other night at dinner.
 And it's very nice, but very unnecessary.
 So what? Excuse me? Say the only reason I offered this to you|is because my family behaved badly and I wanted to make up for it.
 Say I have no interest|in furthering your career.
 This is still an opportunity.
|Who cares why you got the opportunity? It's here, and life is about making the most|of everything you're handed.
 Well, this is being handed to you.
|Now, what are you gonna do about it? Monday, 10:00.
 Call my office|for the details.
 And bring a pencil.
 You never know|when you're gonna need a pencil.
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