# GilmoreGirls-S05E22
# source: https://www.springfieldspringfield.co.uk/view_episode_scripts.php?tv-show=gilmore-girls&episode=s05e22

Hi, hello, yes,|I'm here to pick up my daughter.
 Your daughter's name? Rory Gilmore, Lorelai Gilmore.
|She goes by Rory.
 - I don't know what you have her under.
|- Rory Gilmore.
 That's good, 'cause she'll answer to that.
|Not that she won't to the other, but - She'll be out in a minute.
|- Okay, thanks.
 Sorry, when you say, "She'll be out,"|do you mean out of a cell? Yep.
 So she was in a cell.
 That's where we usually put people|when they're arrested.
 Was she in the cell alone? It was a slow night,|she had the place to herself.
 That's good.
 I mean, not that she's a snob,|she can get along with anyone.
 It's just, it was her first time in a cell,|so I didn't want her to be attacked.
 You know, like in "Caged Heat.
 "|Or was it "Switchblade Sisters?" Anyway, I mean, my daughter|never gets into trouble except, you know, now.
 But on the whole, the kid is an angel.
|She goes to Yale.
 - She'll be out in a minute.
|- Right.
 I'm sorry, are you, like,|solving something? What can I do for you? I was just wondering,|is Rory "in the system" now? Because I just remembered when|Sipowicz's son accidentally got arrested because he looked like a drug dealer,|Sipowicz was freaked out that the son was gonna wind up|in the system.
 And I just wonder, you know,|should I be freaked out? And also, what exactly is "the system"? She's gotta go to court.
|They'll figure out what's gonna happen.
 And am I gonna have to pay anything?|I mean, bail, does she need bail? They're releasing her on a PTA,|for Promise To Appear.
 She will.
 She will appear.
|She might be there before you will.
 - I won't be there.
|- Right.
 But she will 'cause she promised.
|I'll be over there.
 Well, this is much nicer|than the last place we picked him up from.
 Yes, we definitely need to keep|this one in mind for future infractions.
 Excuse me, Officer, we were wondering|if one Logan Huntzberger has been released|from your fine custody yet? - Nope, have a seat.
|- We'll be over here.
 And if you have a moment,|we'd like to order some appetizers.
 So typical.
 Logan would have|to get busted during the one time I almost got Rosemarie|to agree to go home with me.
 It's vintage Huntzberger, my friend.
|Friday nights end in jail.
 - The boy knows how to party.
|- Stealing Richardson's boat, genius.
 Let's not forget the lovely Rory.
 Yes.
 Maxwell Smart finally found his 99.
 - Rory Gilmore's coming out now.
|- Thank you.
 - You're here for Rory?|- Yeah.
 We would've taken her home, love.
 - Just so you know, she was covered.
|- Wow, the relief.
 - I'm Colin.
 This is Finn.
 And you are?|- Her mother.
 My God, those are good genes.
 You got everything? Let's go.
 What's on your hands? Fingerprints.
 Right.
 Do you want to go in and eat|or take it home? - Home.
|- Okay.
 We're having a bike race.
|Bike race through town, first one ever.
 Taylor's really excited.
|Maybe Sheryl Crow will come.
 - Maybe.
|- Probably not.
 I'm running out of small talk, kid.
 Gotta get around|to the main event here soon.
 - I know.
|- Rory, what happened? - No, don't answer it.
|- It's Logan.
 - Rory, don't answer it.
|- I have to.
 I don't want you talking to him right now.
 - Why not?|- Why not? He just got you arrested.
 - He did not.
|- Don't protect him.
 - It was my idea.
|- Come on.
 Logan was at his sister's|engagement party having a perfectly lovely time|when I showed up and dragged him off.
 He spent the night in jail because of me.
|I have to take this call.
 Hey, are you okay? Yeah, I'm fine, I'm good.
|I was just worried about you.
 Lorelai.
 Behind you, back here, turn around.
 Yes, Taylor.
 You know we have a race|coming through here tomorrow.
 Yeah, it says it on the banners.
 The Fifth Annual Connecticut Bike Race.
 - It's a very prestigious race.
|- I'm sure.
 Now, I don't know if you've noticed|the no-parking signs I've been putting out.
 I didn't, Taylor.
 I swear, if something doesn't have|a Marc Jacobs label on it you girls just don't notice it.
 Well, I have just put no-parking signs|all up and down the street here in hopes of clearing a safe and|unobstructed path through Stars Hollow.
 - Well, what a super goal, Taylor.
|- Thank you.
 Now, if you notice,|your jeep is currently parked in what is about to become|a no-parking zone - Really?|- as of 10:00 tonight.
 At 10:01 we will be towing.
 I'm coming for you.
 Okay, Taylor, it's 9:55.
|We still have six minutes.
 Yes, but it would be easier|if you would just move the car now.
 If it were easy, then anyone could do it.
|And I'm a maverick.
 Look what Jane Fonda hath wrought.
 Rory stole a yacht.
 How's your night been? What? What do you mean,|"Rory stole a yacht"? I just got back from picking Rory up|from the Bridgeport Police Department where she was brought following her arrest|for grand theft boating.
 Tell me what happened.
 I don't know what happened,|I haven't gotten the details yet.
 I did get a piece of paper|with a court date on it, though, June 3.
 Sounds like a good day to go to court,|don't you think? - Was she with that Logan kid?|- Yes, he was arrested, too.
 Well, there you go.
 He got her into this.
 - That's what I said.
 I need hand soap.
|- What? She got ink all over her hands from|the fingerprinting and I'm out of soap.
 - I have soap.
|- Maybe she needs special soap.
 Is there special soap? 'Cause it's special ink,|it must be special ink, right? - I don't-|- I mean, of course.
 They're not gonna use normal ink|for fingerprinting.
 It's supposed to brand you|and humiliate you.
 Normal ink wouldn't humiliate you unless|you're Rory and your mother has no soap.
 What are you doing? I should make a list.
|I'm gonna forget things.
 - I just need a pen.
|- Here.
 Okay, buy soap.
 Let's see, what else? Buy soap.
 - Get lawyer.
|- I can help you with a lawyer.
 Crap, Rory's car.
|It must still be at the marina.
 She's gonna have to pick it up,|if it hasn't been impounded.
 - How do I find out if it's been impounded?|- I'm sure you can call down there.
 God, every 10 seconds|something else pops into my head.
 I'm just not prepared for this.
 I mean, Rory never even shoplifted.
|Not a candy bar, not a lipstick.
 She forgot to return a library book once|and she was so guilty about it that she grounded herself.
|I mean, can you imagine? She was just sitting there in her bedroom,|yelling at me: "Now no one else got to read "The lliad"|this week because of me.
 " - What can I do?|- Rory hasn't eaten.
 - I can make you some burgers.
|- No, just donuts.
 We need to get home|and get to the bottom of this.
 Okay, this is not|the end of the world, right? I mean, Rory's young,|young people do stupid things.
 I got pregnant.
 This is better|because it's not so permanent.
 Unless it's on her permanent record.
|Then does that mean she can't vote? I don't think- I thought I read if you commit a felony,|you can't vote.
 Rory loves to vote.
 She switched her "I voted" sticker|from outfit to outfit this year and then she Scotch-taped it to her purse.
|She has to be able to vote.
 You want me to come with you|when you talk to her? No, thanks.
 She's in the car.
 I should go.
 - Thanks for the donuts.
|- Yeah, sure.
 Kirk just came by|and gave us a two-minute warning.
 Any idea what he's talking about? Who ever has any idea|what Kirk's talking about? Here.
 Thanks.
 Rory, what happened tonight? - I stole a yacht.
|- Yes, I know.
 The nice men with the guns told me.
 Why? I just I was really upset|and I felt like I had to do something.
 Okay, sure, I get that.
 When I'm upset and I need|to do something, I eat a lot of pound cake.
 - They don't have pound cake at Yale?|- No, they have pound cake at Yale.
 Mitchum Huntzberger talked to me today.
 - About my performance.
|- And? And he said that|I was very smart and competent and would someday|make someone a great assistant.
 But as a journalist,|he just doesn't think I have it.
 "It"? Who is he, Louis B.
 Mayer? No, he says he has like a sense|for this kind of thing.
 I just I don't know, it was just a surprise.
 I thought I was doing really well.
|I thought I was impressing him.
 I thought he was going to offer me|a summer job with the paper, I thought- God, I hate this guy.
 It's not his fault.
|If he doesn't think I can be a journalist - it's probably best that he tells me before-|- Before what? Before I go out there and fall on my face.
 Rory, he's wrong.
|He doesn't know what he's talking about.
 - He does this for a living.
|- Not after I kill him, he doesn't.
 Big, fancy, arrogant creep handing down|these all-knowing proclamations.
 I mean, how the hell does he know|if you have "it" or not? Has he seen your writing? Has he talked to you,|I mean, really talked to you? Has he talked to any of your teachers?|Or to anyone who knows how much "it" you have? No, he spent exactly two weeks with you,|ordering you around sending you on coffee runs,|playing the big shot.
 He is the publisher.
 I know what it says on his business card.
|I'm gonna kick his ass.
 Should we be at all concerned that|Kirk's trying to tow us away right now? No.
 He is not God.
|This is one man's opinion.
 He did not invent journalism.
 He's just a guy|with a really good parking space.
 - I'm so, so sorry.
|- I know you are.
 I was so stupid.
|I'll never be that stupid again.
 Sure you will.
 Oh, my God.
 I got arrested.
 I have to go to court? I have to go get my car.
|No, do you have soap at home? Because I have all this ink|all over my hands and- Honey, relax.
 We will figure it out.
 Brian, I need to get in there.
 I was only in there 15 minutes.
 I clocked it.
 - Time, dude?|-7:30.
 - Crap, I overslept.
|- You're saying that like it's my fault.
 Shut up.
 It is your fault.
 I told you to get a clock|you don't have to wind.
 - I told you to shut up.
|- You never wind it.
 Then you yell at me.
 Dude, you keep nagging me,|I'm gonna have to buy you a ring.
 - I get off work at 6:00.
|- I'll alert the media.
 I mean, that's early enough|to have band practice.
 - Are we having band practice tonight?|- Maybe.
 - I may have to work late.
|- Brian.
 I have my temp reviewing.
 I think they may be ready to offer me|the full-time receptionist job.
 - It's been a while since we practiced.
|- We've been busy.
 - Tomorrow, then?|- Definitely a conversation to have.
 Fine, we'll talk tonight.
|Have you seen my jeans jacket? Come on.
 I threw the troll.
 Good morning.
 God, I feel like I could sleep|through the entire day.
 Coffee will be ready soon.
 - What are you doing?|- Well, I'm updating the refrigerator.
 Where did you get that? The nice lady at the police station|e- mailed it to me.
 I thought it would look nice next to|your kindergarten handprint collage.
 I'll get you a copy|if you're thinking Christmas cards.
 - Very thoughtful.
|- You're hungry? I'm starving.
 I've had nothing but donuts|for two days.
 - Funny.
|- Hold on.
 I'm really glad you're enjoying this.
 Rory, the penal system|is not something we enjoy.
 It's something with a name|that makes us giggle.
 - I assume there's Pop-Tarts?|- Now, what's on the agenda for today? I hear there's a shipment of plutonium|coming in at the docks.
 And I thought we could dress up as nuns and I could distract them|with a fake stigmata.
 You could shove the plutonium|under your habit and then- I have to go back to school.
|I have one last final, plus- Wait.
 Plus, I've one last load of stuff that I need|to pack up and transport back here.
 And now I have to hang up.
|Visiting hours are over.
 Thanks for letting me borrow the jeep.
 I figured if I didn't give it to you voluntarily|you'd just heist it anyway.
 This bit's gonna last for a while? Twenty to life with time off for a well-placed|Tom Sizemore Whizzenator joke.
 Don't let the movies fool you kiddies.
|Crime doesn't pay.
 Listen, later today, I'm gonna try|and track us down a lawyer.
 I thought I'd call that guy|who got Robert Blake off.
 What was his name, Houdini? What? Where are you really|gonna get this lawyer? The emergency room,|ambulance dispatch center? - You're not gonna tell-|- I'm not going through Mom and Dad.
 There's no reason|they need to know about this.
 Did I say "I'm sorry"|in the last five minutes? I think not slugging me when I pulled out|the telephones said it for you.
 - I love you, Mom.
|- I love you, kid.
 - Hello?|- Hi.
 Is Rory there? - She just left.
 Who's calling?|- It's Logan.
 - She's not here.
|- I've been trying to get her.
 Her phone must be off, dead or something.
 She's heading back to school.
|You can just catch up with her there.
 - Yes, I'll do that.
|- Okay, bye.
 Listen, I'm sorry to call your house.
|I just had this number and I wanted to talk to Rory.
 - It's okay, Logan.
|- And listen I know you must be really upset by this|whole thing, but I want you to know my father's lawyers|are all over the situation and- You know what? I think your father's|done just about enough here, okay? Done enough? Yes, so thank your father for this.
|And I do mean all of this.
 - But I think I can handle it from here.
|- But- His help isn't needed, Logan.
 I've got it.
 Okay, you got it.
 Sorry, I was just- Rory should be back at school soon.
 - Right.
 Sorry to bother you.
|- No problem.
 Bye.
 - Hey.
|- What did he do? - What?|- My father.
 What did he do? - Who told you that he did anything?|- I called your house.
 I talked to your mom.
 Great.
 I should've known something happened the way you showed up|at Honor's party like that.
 I should've known.
 - My mother shouldn't have said anything.
|- She didn't say anything specific.
 - What did she say?|- Rory, just tell me what happened.
 - It's stupid.
 I feel stupid.
|- Rory.
 - I overreacted.
 You'll think I'm three.
|- Tell me.
 He just doesn't think that I've got|what it takes to be a journalist.
 He says he knows when someone has it|and I apparently do not have it.
 - He said that to you?|- Yeah.
 - Just like that?|- Pretty much.
 I knew this was gonna happen.
|I didn't want you to take that internship.
 I had to take it.
|Your father's the top guy in the business.
 My father is a jackass.
 He's a bully.
 He has zero interest in people's feelings.
 It's always, "Say what you feel,|right or wrong.
 "Who the hell cares who you hurt?" - Whatever, I'm going over there right now.
|- Logan, no.
 You're my girlfriend.
|He should've treated you better.
 - I don't want you to say anything.
|- I have to.
 Logan, no, please.
 I just wanna forget this.
|I just want it to go away.
 And please don't make a big thing|between you and your dad.
 - I don't want that.
|- Rory.
 Don't put me in that position, please.
 I'm sure he'll give me a crappy present|for my birthday.
 Maybe I can pick a fight with him|over that.
 - Thank you.
|- You should've told me.
 I didn't wanna tell you.
 If this relationship thing is gonna work|then it goes both ways.
 You have to tell me why|we're committing a felony before we do it.
 Not that that's gonna stop us,|but at least I'll know the facts, okay? - Okay, I'm sorry.
|- Come here.
 You need some help packing? No, I've got my last final today.
 I should go over my notes.
 - Okay.
 Call me after.
|- I will.
 - You're good?|- I'm good.
 Okay.
 And try and talk to your mother.
 My father's lawyers|should really handle this thing.
 - They've had a lot of practice, believe me.
|- Okay, I'll talk to her.
 Big hole! - You signed on the wrong line.
|- Sorry.
 Cross it out, initial it, and sign again.
 Big hole! What the hell is wrong with them?|Why can't they just let the bozo in back figure out for himself|there's a big hole there? You're awful crabby for a man whose|business is booming because of this race.
 I don't want this kind of business.
|It's too shiny.
 I myself am finding the whole thing|rather intoxicating.
 Our little town, the site of a thrilling|international sports event like this? You have no idea how much wrangling|it took to get them here.
 Big hole! Jeez, I smudged.
 He made me smudge.
 Cross it out, initial the smudge,|then start again.
 I lobbied the race coordinators for weeks.
 It was a lot of ouzo and karaoke but I bagged our town|the coveted first-stop, last-stop slot.
 Wait, "first-stop, last-stop," meaning? They start here today, circle the state,|then end here later this week.
 Every one of them will be coming back.
 Big hole! Unbelievable.
 Don't press too hard there.
|I don't wanna start all over again.
 - That's the last one.
|- Excellent.
 Well, I guess congratulations|are in order, Luke.
 You just bought yourself|the Twickham house.
 Thank you, Taylor.
 Now remember,|there's a three-day cooling-off period meaning you have three days from today|to change your mind.
 I'm not gonna change my mind.
 Well, it's been a pleasure|doing business with you, Luke.
 I certainly hope it works out for you|and your future plans.
 Big hole! I'm taking my break.
 I have 15 minutes.
 - No chili?|- Where's Gil? It totally needs some chili.
 Gil called.
 His delivery boy didn't show.
|He had to make stops on the way.
 He said he may not be able to make it.
 Of course he can't make it.
|Why should he? It's only a band meeting, right?|Nothing important.
 Oh, my God, I can taste the potato.
 - So?|- I hate potato.
 The chili hides the potato.
 - Zach!|- Nice screech.
 This right here, this attitude,|it's exactly what I'm talking about.
 What do you mean|what you're talking about? You haven't said anything yet.
 - I think we have a problem.
|- We do? I just got totally boned|by a 16-year-old 3 Doors Down fan.
 My week sucks.
 We started the meeting already, Gil.
 I'm sorry, Lane.
 I dropped off|the hoagies as quickly as I could.
 Next time I won't wait for the money.
|And my kid can just paint himself silver and do the robot on the street corner|for tuition fees.
 What's going on here?|Are we breaking up? What? Oh, you mean the band.
 Okay, cool, wow, go on.
 We're not breaking up.
|Are we breaking up? I don't know.
 It just seems that lately the band doesn't seem|as important to everyone as it used to be.
 - Don't agree.
|- We hardly practice any more.
 Everyone else|has all these other things to do.
 There were clothes on my drums|this morning.
 Sorry.
 After I Woolite that sweater,|I have to lay it out flat, or it'll lose shape.
 Lane, relax.
 Things have just been|a little crazy lately.
 That reminds me.
 I got offered|that full-time receptionist job today.
 - Really?|- Welcome to the grind, my friend.
 They're giving me a raise,|and I get to keep the blazer.
 Awesome blazer.
 I'm sorry, does anyone else see|what's going on here? Brian's talking about taking a full-time job.
 - So?|- The band's supposed to be a full-time job.
 - Lane.
|- No, no Lane.
 You have your Americana banjo band,|and you have Century 21 and you have a really stupid hat on.
 What do I have? According to my mother,|I'm going to hell for this.
 That's commitment, my friends.
 Eternal damnation is what I'm risking|for my rock and roll.
 Lane, calm down.
|We all care about the band.
 So I'm just imagining all of this? I think we need to play more.
 We've played every club|around here 100 times.
 Well, then maybe we need to tour.
 Tours are rough, Lane.
|They have to be planned.
 Venues must be booked.
|You need publicity, transportation, money.
 Well, we have to do something.
 - Big hole!|- That's it.
 Big man! - Six hundred lunges every night.
|- Impressive.
 Thank you.
|We are booked, booked, booked.
 I now love bike riders so much that from now on when driving,|I'll no longer consider how many points I'd get if I took them out.
|What's this? - This is for you, apparently.
|- A present? I love presents.
 I wonder who it could be from.
 "Lorelai, a little something to make|the trip over to the Durham Group "a bit more fun.
 Mike Armstrong.
 " Thank you, Mike Armstrong.
 That is the man|who wants to buy the inn, no? Oh, my God.
 Look at all this stuff.
 Travel soap, travel candles,|a travel blanket, cashmere travel pillow cashmere socks.
 Oh, my God,|I've been wanting to try this.
 This is the Lumiere youth serum.
 Apparently you put this on|before you get on a plane and by the time you get off,|you're Dakota Fanning.
 Michel, take something.
|What do you want? The memory of those bikers poking|each other in the buttocks "eternally sunshined" out of my mind.
 Come on, Michel.
 Take something,|you love products.
 - You're going to do it, aren't you?|- Do what? You're going to sell the inn|to Mike Armstrong.
 Euros.
 Cool.
 You're going to sell the inn|to Mike Armstrong.
 Then you're gonna go off|and have a wonderful life and I'm going to be unemployed.
 Very attractive asset on the dating scene.
 You know, we have our own little section|on match.
 com.
 Michel, stop it.
|I'm probably not gonna take the deal.
 - You're not?|- This is my inn.
 I love it here.
 It's just fun being wooed, you know.
 Having someone want you enough|to send you Prescriptives misting lotion.
 Fine, if you say so.
 Did the handyman get here yet?|That loose banister's making me nervous.
 - He has not come.
 Should I call him again?|- No, forget it.
 I'll call Luke.
 He'll come fix it|and all it'll cost me is my honor.
 What a lovely arrangement you two have.
 And the countdown continues.
|Twenty-five more minutes, people.
 Can you stand the excitement?|I know I can't.
 I've only got 10 minutes.
|What do you need? - The banister's loose upstairs.
|- Okay.
 The window in Room 3 is stuck.
|The barn door's off its tracks again.
 Did you bring your jackhammer? Did you hear the part about,|"I've only got 10 minutes"? - Window in Room 3 is stuck.
|- Let's go.
 But if you fix it really quickly, the banister|is right on your way back down.
 Really, you might as well|take a look at that, too.
 - What's all this stuff?|- That is my big, fancy present.
 - From whom?|- From Mike Armstrong.
 - Who the hell's Mike Armstrong?|- He's my other lover.
 He owns a diner in Woodbury.
|I didn't want you to find out this way, but- "The Durham Group.
 " Yeah, the hotel chain|who wants to buy the inn.
 What are they sending you gifts for? Either they're disproportionately worried|about my cuticles or they can't live without me and they're begging me|to accept their offer.
 - To buy the inn?|- Yeah they've been after me since that meeting.
 - What meeting?|- The meeting with Mike Armstrong.
 I didn't know you had a meeting|with Mike Armstrong.
 - Yes, you did.
|- No, I didn't.
 You did.
 You told me|to have a meeting with Mike Armstrong.
 I know, but you never said anything|so I figured it went away.
 Well, I had a meeting|with Mike Armstrong.
 - And?|- And what? - And what happened?|- Nothing.
 He talked, I listened.
 I told him I'd think about it.
 - Think about it?|- Yeah.
 About selling the inn.
 And then|after you sell the inn, then what? I'd be like a consultant for their company.
 - Is that what you want?|- I don't know.
 - Are you gonna take this job?|- Probably not.
 I'm still mulling.
 Mulling? You're still mulling?|She's still mulling.
 - Why are you so upset?|- I'm not upset.
 - I just can't believe you're still mulling.
|- Luke.
 I mean, you're seriously considering|selling the inn and taking this job.
 I mean, where's their office, anyway? They've got a bunch of them.
|I don't know where exactly I'd be.
 - Well, shouldn't you ask?|- Hello.
 Mulling.
 - I mean, they could send you anywhere.
|- Luke.
 Then there's all that travel,|there's travel, right? Yes.
 No.
 I don't know.
 What are you freaking out about? - What about the kids?|- What kids? Nothing.
 Never mind, forget it.
|I'm gonna fix the window.
 - Luke.
|- Room 3, got it.
 Mama, it's me, Lane.
 Over here in the 20% off section.
 - Am I disturbing you?|- No, but it is past their bedtime.
 - That was joke.
|- You're in a good mood.
 - I had a good day.
|- You sell a lot of things? - You would like to see my receipts?|- No.
 - My inventory reports?|- No, Mom - I was just making small talk.
|- You would like some tea? No, I just want to tell you something.
 All right, tell me something.
 It looks like the band may be breaking up.
|We've hit a rut.
 We can't get enough gigs|to get any momentum and I don't know, it's just not working.
 - I see.
|- I think I may need to move back home.
 I realize that if you allow me to do that then I will have to abide by any rules|you feel necessary.
 I also anticipate the words "Seventh-day|Adventist College" will come up so I'll go shopping for some|Peter Pan collared shirts tomorrow.
 - No more band?|- No more band.
 - You are not the daughter I raised!|- What? Kims don't give up.
 Sorry, the inn was swamped.
 These bikers are like rabbits|who don't eat carrots.
 Too much sugar.
 - Sugar.
|- The fitness craze is completely lost on us.
 - I'm starving.
|- Me, too.
 - So how'd your final go?|- It went well.
 - Yeah? And you finished packing?|- All packed, all boxed I just have one more trip to school|and home and then I'm done.
 It's gonna be nice to have you home|for a while.
 I'm glad you feel that way.
 Yeah, the place hasn't had|a decent dusting since you left.
 Do you think today's the day|we're finally gonna go through all 12 layers|of the 12-layer German chocolate cake? The bikers have demonstrated|the importance of challenging oneself.
 - Mom.
|- Rory.
 I have to tell you something.
 Okay, wow,|there's something about Weston's.
 - It's always the place where we talk.
|- We could go somewhere else.
 No, tell me.
 I've decided that I'm not going back to Yale next year.
 I'm sorry,|I don't think I heard you correctly.
 - I'm not going back to Yale next year.
|- Why? Because I'm not sure|that it's the right place for me.
 And I'm not exactly sure|what I want to do with my life and- Since when are you not sure|what you wanna do with your life? You've known what you wanted to do|with your life since you were three.
 - Be a journalist.
|- Maybe not.
 - This is about Mitchum Huntzberger.
|- No, it's not.
 Rory, honey, I know that what he said|hurt you, and that shook you up.
 You lost your confidence,|but that was just one man's opinion.
 It has nothing to do|with what he said to me.
 And Mitchum Huntzberger happens to be|the top newspaper guy in the country.
 So what? So if you're going to get|one man's opinion - he's the one man you get.
|- You're not thinking.
 This is the man who doesn't want you|to marry Logan.
 That wasn't him.
 It was Logan's mother|and his grandfather.
 And you really think he's okay with it? His whole family looks at you|and sees Anna Nicole Smith and they tell you that to your face.
 He thinks you're swell|and wants to pay for the honeymoon.
 That's not why he said what he said.
 He's messing with your mind.
|He has so many motives that have nothing to do with your abilities.
 That's not true.
|He said I can't do it, so I can't do it.
 Why are you so willing to believe this guy? - Logan agrees with him.
|- He said that? He told you he agrees with his father because if that's so,|he's a fantastic boyfriend.
 - Really, quite a catch.
|- No, he didn't say it.
 - I could just tell.
|- How? I could tell.
 He ranted|about his father being a jerk and speaking his mind,|but he never said that he was wrong.
 - Rory, come on, what kind of logic is that?|- It doesn't matter.
 This isn't about that.
|I told you, I just need some time.
 - You're making a mistake.
|- No, I'm not.
 This is normal.
 College kids take breaks like this|all the time.
 You didn't go to college,|so you don't understand.
 No, I didn't go to college,|I wasn't lucky enough to go to college.
 Trust me, this is very normal.
 - No, you are not quitting Yale.
|- Yes, I am.
 You're acting incredibly immature|and I know it's because you're hurt but you've got to get a grip.
|This is too important.
 You've been working toward Yale|your whole life.
 No.
 I was working toward Harvard|my whole life.
 Okay, fine, then go to Harvard.
 That's cool.
 I don't wanna go to Harvard.
 Then go to Princeton or Stanford|or Columbia.
 I want time off.
 If you leave Yale now,|you'll never go back.
 - You'll lose momentum.
|- Momentum toward what? All I've been doing|is working toward being a journalist.
 I'm not going to be a journalist,|so what momentum am I losing, exactly? You don't wanna be a journalist, fine.
|I don't care about that.
 But you stay in school,|you take some classes you figure out what you do wanna be.
 - That's not what Yale is for.
|- That's what college is for.
 - Yale's expensive.
|- Are you paying? I don't wanna do that.
|I don't wanna wander around a school where everyone else is focused|and working towards something and I'm just floating.
 What's the great master plan then?|You're gonna move back home live in your room,|work part-time at the bookstore? - Forget it! Not an option.
|- I'll figure it out.
 - I'm not hungry.
|- Look, I'm not going back.
 - I just wanted you to know.
|- Message sent.
 - Luke, you were looking for Taylor?|- Yeah.
 - Go, Connecticut!|- He's right outside.
 I'll be back in a minute.
 Taylor.
 - Hello, Luke.
|- You said I had three days, right? - Three-|- For the house.
 Three days to back out.
 - Well, I didn't say that, the law did.
|- Fine, whoever said it, I want out.
 - What?|- Forget the house.
 Forget the whole damn thing,|I don't need it anymore.
 Why? Luke.
 I have a lunch|with Sonny Kingsman today.
 And then I have to stop by the club at 4:00.
 Some of the girls are having|a little impromptu birthday cocktail with Mellie Rutgers.
 Though the last thing Mellie needs|is another excuse for a midday cocktail.
 I can stop by the cleaners|on my way home if you want to have something pressed|for your trip this weekend.
 And then after the cleaners,|I thought I'd run off with Marshall the golf instructor at the club.
 Do you think you could manage|to get your own dinner tonight? That'll be fine, Emily.
 I wonder who that can be|first thing in the morning? Perhaps it's Marshall, the golf instructor unable to wait until after Mellie's party|to have you.
 - I know I couldn't.
|- You do surprise me, Richard Gilmore.
 - I'm sorry to interrupt your breakfast.
|- Lorelai.
 I need to talk to you guys|about something.
 - Is everything all right?|- Well Sit down, Lorelai.
 Davida,|bring a coffee cup for my daughter.
 I'm gonna have to call the office|if this is gonna take long.
 No, Dad, it won't.
 I just I need your help.
 - Call the office, Richard.
|- No, Dad, I promise it'll be quick.
 - Rory's quitting Yale.
|- What? - What are you talking about?|- Thank you.
 What do you mean Rory's quitting Yale? Why would you joke|about something like that? - What makes you think I'm joking?|- Because Rory would never quit Yale.
 This must be one of your bits.
|You scare us with something horrible like Rory's quitting college|and then after we have a heart attack you tell us you were kidding,|you're having a sex-change operation.
 Mom, Dad, I'm not having|a sex-change operation.
 I don't understand this.
|Rory's doing beautifully at school.
 Why would she want to leave? Okay, look, I know you love Logan|and the Huntzbergers and you already have the wedding|invitations printed and ready to go but I have to tell you,|these are not good people.
 Meaning what? Logan's mother and grandfather attacked Rory|at that dinner they invited her to.
 They told her she wasn't good enough|to marry into the Huntzberger family and she wasn't who they wanted|for Logan.
 Not good enough? Then Mitchum Huntzberger|gave Rory that internship theoretically to make up for that evening.
|He let her work for a while he built her up, and then he clobbered her.
 He told her she doesn't have what it takes|to be a journalist and she needs to find|something else to do with her life.
 - What?|- This happened on Friday night, Mom.
 That's why Rory wasn't at dinner,|she was devastated.
 Then she went to find Logan|at the yacht club and the two of them stole a yacht.
 Stop it.
 Stop it right now.
 They were arrested,|and I had to pick Rory up - from the Bridgeport Police Department.
|- No.
 Ever since she got involved|with these people, things have been bad.
 She's up and she's down and|she should be stronger than this, I know but she's young and she's Rory|and she's come so far she's worked so hard,|I just don't want her to lose this.
 What do you want us to do? I've already told her|that just coming home and bumming around Stars Hollow|is not an option.
 And I was thinking, Friday night at dinner|we could triple-team her.
 I bet between the three of us|we could knock some sense into her but I really need the two of you|to back me up on this.
 Well, of course, we'll back you up.
|This is not happening.
 How much trouble is she in|with this yacht incident? - She's gonna need a lawyer.
|- I'll call Charlie Newman.
 Are we sure we wanna wait until Friday?|Should we confront her now? I think we should give her a chance|to cool off a little.
 Maybe some time|will make her more receptive.
 I agree with Lorelai.
|Give the girl some time.
 - All right.
 Friday night it is.
|- Thank you.
 Just Thank you.
 I should get going.
 Dad has to get to work.
 - Would you like something to eat?|- No.
 I just got everything I need.
 Davida, can you come here, please? Look at these shoes and tell me|if these look like the same color to you.
 They're supposed to be the same color,|they were bought at the same time they'd been residing in the same box.
 However, on closer examination,|one of them seems a little faded.
 What do you think? What's the matter?|I was just asking your opinion.
 Davida, stop that shaking right now.
|This is not a trick question.
 I just wanted an opinion from|For heaven's sake.
 Go back to your work.
 I guess I'll get that.
 Rory.
 - Can I come in?|- Well, all right.
 Come in.
 Didn't expect to see you|until dinner tonight.
 I needed to talk to you.
 Yes, well, your grandmother|is running some errands and I was doing|some work in the house, so Well, I assume you've heard|about everything by now.
 Yes, well, I believe|I've heard some bits and pieces.
 You know, I really was|in the middle of something.
 Can this possibly wait until tonight?|I'll give you my full attention, I promise.
 Everything's falling apart.
 I messed everything up.
|I don't know what to do.
 Your grandmother should be back|any minute.
 I can have the maid make us some tea.
 I'm so sorry, Grandpa.
|I'm so sorry about everything.
 I just don't know what to do.
 I don't.
 It's all right.
 Everything will be all right.
 - Where is she, dude?|- Don't know, man.
 Not her warden.
 This is the second|emergency band meeting in a week.
 Time is pressing.
 I have a 10-pound salami|sitting out in the van.
 Do not giggle.
|This is not dirty, this is a job.
 Can one of you quiz me|on the open-house procedures? - Level 12, dude.
|- I'll do it.
 "True or false:|Simmering some apple juice "and a couple of cinnamon sticks|makes a pleasant aroma "indicating "home"|to prospective buyers.
 " True.
 I'd add a little potpourri to the johns, too.
 Jeez! - All boys here?|- Yes.
 - Good.
|- Guys, guess what? Your mother just took 10 years off my life? - We are going on tour.
|- We are? - What are you talking about?|- All of you, gather around, please.
 Do not stand there looking stupid, move! Okay, you start at The First Lady|of Our Sacred Heart on the fourth The Church of the Open Hand|on the sixth Chapel Hill on the 10th, the big auditorium|not the Sunday school room.
 - Are you sensing a pattern here?|- We move in kind of a horseshoe shape.
 - It looks pretty well thought out.
|- No, they're all churches.
 Not churches, theaters and churches.
 I have contacts|with the entire east coast Seventh-day Adventists|entertainment circuit.
 Dates back to my days|in an all-girl Christian tambourine band.
 - What?|- I have you booked solid for two months.
 Families in each town will take you in,|feed you, put you up.
 - I don't know.
 This seems a little weird.
|- Weird? What weird? You need to play, here's places to play.
|Nice places, clean places.
 - Don't wear that outfit onstage.
|- This is my delivery outfit.
 Lane, tell her I don't dress like this.
 - I need to see your songs.
|- Why? To see if you need|to make any adjustments.
 - Lyrics must be clean.
|- Okay, that's where we draw the line.
 - We will not change our lyrics.
|- Please.
 Prince made 57 million|take-home last year.
 He didn't swear, and he mentioned God.
|Catch up! Okay, last problem, transportation.
 - What about the van?|- What van? Gil's delivery van.
 - You have van?|- Yeah, right outside, full of salami.
 Let's see this van.
 Lane, we can't go|on some crazy Christian crusade tour.
 It's a tour, Zach.
 It's a chance to play,|to keep our band together.
 Isn't that important?|Who cares where we're playing? Our music will be out there.
 I think a tour would be kind of neat.
 Brian, if you do a tour right,|it could be way more than neat.
 - Gil, get over here.
|- Yes, ma'am.
 - This is your van?|- Yes but it's not really big enough|for a tour van.
 What're you talking about?|All 27 girls and their tambourines would have fit very nicely in here.
|Legs crossed, of course.
 Drums go there, bass goes there,|guitars go there Lane rides up front,|and we get rid of that big salami.
 Pop the hood.
 I need to check the engine.
 Okay, I know it's not perfect,|it's not The Festival Express but it could be really great.
 - What do you say?|- I think it's freaking crazy.
 Which also happens to be|completely rock and roll.
 Let's do it! - Seriously?|- Totally! Century 21 has been around|for over 30 years.
 - I'm sure it'll be here when I get back.
|- Zach? Well, jeez, Dorothy,|if Tin Man and Lion are gonna go - I guess I have to go, too.
|- Yeah! All right.
 - Gil, get over here and pop the hood now!|- Yes, ma'am.
 - Haven't got all day.
|- I'm sorry.
 You'll need new hoses, spark plugs,|oil change.
 Wait, let me write this down.
 Hi.
 - Can I take your coat?|- Yes, thank you.
 Lorelai, we're in here.
 I thought I'd come a little early|so we could strategize.
 - Sit down, Lorelai.
|- Okay.
 Rory should be here pretty soon, so Your mother and I have been talking|about your situation.
 We have discussed the matter thoroughly|and we have come to a decision.
 Rory will be taking some time off|from Yale.
 She will be moving|into the pool house here with us.
 We will find her some sort of suitable job|through one of our friends and then after a suitable time|has passed we will revisit the subject|of her returning to school.
 Where are you going? I was sitting right here.
 I came in, I sat right here,|and we had the conversation, right? I mean, I'm not imagining it, right? I had coffee, you had grapefruit Dad was reading the paper, he had to go,|so I said I'd make it quick.
 And we sat here and we talked about|how we were gonna stick together and convince Rory to go back to school.
|That did happen, right? - I'm not completely wacko.
|- Yes, it happened.
 Obviously I'm a little wacko 'cause|I came here for help in the first place but I'm not totally delusional.
 - There were other things to consider.
|- You said you'd back me on this.
 You said you weren't gonna|let this happen.
 Rory's young and I'm sure once she's had|some time and some space she will change her mind, but for now,|this is what she wants to do and we need to respect that.
 Have you talked to Rory about this,|your great plan? - Does she know about it?|- Yes.
 She's fine with the arrangement.
 - So you went to her behind my back.
|- She came to me, Lorelai.
 She told me what she wanted|in her own words.
 Wow, so that does work|occasionally with you? This makes sense.
 We don't want her|to move in with Logan, do we? Since you don't want Rory|to move back home to Stars Hollow it just makes sense|that she move in here with us.
 - I don't-|- We can watch her.
 Keep her from getting into trouble.
|We can get her back on track.
 You'll understand that|once you calm down and think about it rationally.
 This is unacceptable.
|Completely unacceptable! - What time is it?|-10:00.
 It's not! It is not 10:00.
 Is it 10:00? No.
 They were supposed|to finish the race at 12:00 that's 12:00 noon, when the sun is out|and the press is here and the people are interested|in buying t-shirts.
 Nobody buys t-shirts at 10:00 at night.
 Sweatshirts, maybe.
 Well, we're not selling sweatshirts,|are we? All that planning.
 I finally|had to send the marching band home.
 It was past their bedtimes.
 I have never met such soft, whiny|6- year-olds, in my entire life.
 If this was Dickens' day, they'd all|have been sold to a cobbler by now.
 I think I see someone coming.
 Really? At 10:10 they come rolling in? You're late, you're late, you're all late! You, and you, and you, and you! Late! - Rory dropped out of Yale.
|- What? She dropped out of Yale|and she moved in with my parents who I went to for help,|and they stabbed me in the back.
 Everything we worked for,|all these years, her whole future She was supposed to have more than me.
 She was supposed to have everything.
 That was the plan.
 We had a plan.
 Okay, I'm sorry, I have to jump in here.
 I know you think you have|this thing handled, but I can help.
 First off, we call Yale,|and we tell them something like Rory had a chemical imbalance,|and she was medically out of her mind when she told them she was dropping out.
 Then we get her out of your|parents' house whatever way we can we lock her up in her room with you|'cause you can talk her into this.
 You can talk anybody into anything.
 Then if worse comes to worst,|we will drive her to school every day and we will follow her to class and|camp out there to make sure she goes.
 I'll take morning classes,|you take afternoon classes or the other way around|if it works out better for your schedule.
 And I know there's a few kinks|to work out and the kidnapping might be problematic,|but either way, she is not quitting school.
 This was her dream.
|I am not gonna let this happen.
 What? Luke, will you marry me? What? English